love is complex
to some love is se          x
to others love is a trainwreck
but to me love is hurt
love is pain
love is me screaming and crying your name
because you don't love me anymore
and i am going fu    c king insane

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Look;

When did relationships
Get defined
By a read receipt?
Will we
Now
Only measure intimacy
By a tweet?

What do we have left,
Why can’t we
Go back
To laughter
In a diner seat

"No offense but you're like really fat."
this was said to me in second grade by another kid
to be fair, yes i was an obese little second grader but i had been growing about three inches every year since i had turned three
i don't believe this person was being inherently malicious
but i will never forget their words and the way they made me feel

you told me today that you don't think you would ever love me as much as i love you,
you don't know how many times i've heard that
when i fall in love i fall hard and fast
i give my all to those i've fallen for
am i the problem in this
the reoccurring factor that makes everyone leave
what is wrong with me
tell me god please just tell me
i can change for you
i will change for you
please just love me back

What am i to you?
Am i your one true love?
Am i the girl you want to grow old with?
Or just another warm body.
Someone to hold for a while, but then discard like a used tissue.
Is that what i am to you?

i am spinning in a sea of my thoughts,
reaching for someone to
help me,
save me,
but no one does,
and i drown.

it's a strange feeling when you realize you're a bigger size than you used to be,
the clothes that were once big on you are now tightly holding in your newly gained flesh,
I know i shouldn't but,
i miss being sick.