Can you see it?

The ceiling lights flickering,

painting the artificial over *****
sinks and grimy tile,
too harsh to be a halo,
more searchlight than anything.

I can see the dirt under your
fingernails, the lines of your tired
face, but I still want to push you
against that concrete wall,

kiss you stupid.

Thanks to these shaky hands,
this traitorous tongue, weak weak
spirit and give in, give in like
always, but you don't know.

You make me want to be cruel.

Everything ends in salt and sand,
the ocean swallowing the world
whole, fire and ice an afterthought.

I had you pegged for a fighter, you know?

You might have been, once.
The self is a slippery thing,
sweetheart. I spent hours trying
to dissect sunlight.

What do you do with something that can't be cut
open, can't bleed?

Flesh is the body and the body
is what holds the soul,
meat suit maybe, but it's all
connected somehow.

Cut me there and there, but the
sadness won't bleed out. Nick me
here and here and here, but the
love won't leave me,

just fills every particle of the room and fogs up the glass.

The universe spins
Eyes swirl around a cup of tea
The spoon is patient

Found out recently
that I'm no longer afraid
of dying; I fear
most mere survival until
I've used up all of my days.

I thought I could escape a raptor when
I moved five hours to a new valley
I switched out my life and my set of friends
Those dark thoughts had finally gone from me
One work week in, and somehow they were back
Those feelings I had thought both gone and dead
Three weeks in, and I've cut them quite far back
But no matter what, they're still in my head
So I guess that they'll just never be gone
So with that in mind, I'll keep moving on