The lights keep flickering just like the memories of you
Soon the house lights will be off too.
"Life's a trip" - that's what you left
Memories of time well spent constantly in my head
Yet they never seem to shine as bright as our lives in real time
The lights are dim now-
I think it's time for me to say goodbye...
Your words of wisdom shall never die.

Strangers is how we began
I held a shy smile as you radiated confidence with your own.
Immediate friendship in the blink of an eye- never ending laughs in another.
Blinks that turned into years...
I couldn't have imagined another blink would end it all.
Our laughs turned into sweet memories as silence became our reality
How did we end as strangers too?

You whispered you loved me as you yelled all the things you hate about me
You asked me to be honest but I was met with rage
I’d ask you to come over, and you thought that meant I want you to *** over and over
I askd you if you were doing okay, I was met with “what’s your problem anyways”

He was mad again.
I could hear it in the way he answered the phone with a stern "Hello."
I didn't understand
"What did I do?"
"It's fine," he repeated over and over
Yet, it was not fine.
As the call ended and my cheeks continued to stain with dry tears just like every time before.
I never understood
It felt like I was drowning
Like I had dug my own emotional grave and didn't notice it was already seven feet deep.
yet, he said he loves me...

Is this love?

Yet, you don't tell me you love me
But, it feels like you love me more than he ever will
Yet I stayed with the other
Even though he makes me cry
Even though there are nights I cannot recall and bruises that seem to stay even after they have faded away
Maybe I told you that I loved him because it was easier than admitting I was scared
Maybe I told you I loved him because it was easier than asking for help
Maybe I told you I loved him because it was true...
...but deep down we both knew.

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.