You don't see the world
The way I do
You see stars
I see constellations.

One more drink,
A cigarette,
Another song,
Any excuse to **** the pain,
Of remembering,
I'm all I've got,
And I used to be so much more.

I know you say I hurt you,
Lets contrast and compare,
Mine are still here,
Yours were never there.

I know that I'm not ready,
I know you fear it too.
If only I could open you up,
To all of your most tattered pages,
Feel the rips the others left behind,
And mend them one by one,
Piece together the scraps let loose,
Make sense of the sentences torn apart,
Give your story meaning,
By putting you back in sequence,
I can bare the cut of every page,
And swallow the pain of every word,
If only it meant that you would continue.
I would rewrite your beginnings,
Soften our rise and fall,
And give you the ending you always deserved.

I like men and I hate cuddling
so im left to wonder why
this beautiful woman
is laying her head upon my chest, slightly
snoring, peaceful as she rests.
She's beautiful as she sleeps
but im confused and honestly
her leg is making mine hot.
Im uncomfortable.
I know she needs this and I wont be
the one to take it away from her.

Four hearts,
I can barely handle one.
The first: My own,
Broken many times before,
Mended by nothing but my own hands.
Experienced by many.
The second:
Slightly worn and completely stable,
Experienced by one.
The third:
Soft and gentle,
Experienced by few,
But keeps coming back for more.
The fourth:
Open and beautifully naive,
Experienced by none,
Ready to start beating.
All of them amaze me,
The love you can learn,
Sometimes exceeds what you can feel,
Curiosity greater than experience.

It's been almost a year,
A year since you've gone.
Since our last dance,
And I can remember every word,
You whispered to me,
As the band played,
To orchestrate our movement.
My arms aligned with yours,
Our bodies in perfect unison.
That was the last night,
That was the last dance,
And your final breath,
I still feel you on me,
It's honestly a tragedy.
I know it was wrong,
But you made me the happiest I've ever been.
I still think of you
Every day,
When I walk through the door,
When my hips shift,
I want you to shift with me.
In my mind,
You're still here.

In walks little ole me.
Then the two girls talking ****,
In the corner,
With their stares burning my skin.
Then the *******,
They've had too much to drink,
Loud.
Now I can't hear my favorite song.
The one the bartender decided to play,
Because at one point,
It was just the two of us.
It was perfect,
But nothing is forever.
No, perfection isn't us.
Its not out style.

I am terrified,
When I look into those bright blue eyes.
I'm not sorry that I lied,
And that I created this disguise.
You are the fear held within me,
Torturing my every thought,
For I know what we should be,
No, I know that we could be a lot.
You think that I'm too good for you,
But deep inside of me I know,
That I don't deserve a boy like you,
Not for a girl who lives with woe.
I have known such things for far too long,
After three great years and a million songs.

I keep telling myself I'm okay,
I keep trying to trick myself into thinking that I'm happy, but it isn't that easy.
Nothing is ever easy.
So, I fake a smile all day and get caught in mindless conversations.
At the end of the day it just isn't enough.
I stay awake all night, tossing and turning,
With awful anxiety.
I worry about what could've been,
But mostly of what will be.
I hate not knowing if what I've done is right
And if this is the life im supposed to be living.
I feel as if I might turn down the wrong road,
Like one small mistake will ruin my entire life.
I wish I could believe in destiny.

I'm writing this,
(drunk & alone, again)
No.
Stop.
This will not end well,
It simply will not end.

Year one:
An exploration,
Neither of us understand,
Who are we?
Year two:
Drifting,
Apart from each other,
Yet still in sight,
Selfishness creates distance,
We both take flight,
Where are we?
Year three:
Rediscover,
We have no one.
You, you were there,
And I stood by you,
Waiting,
Impatiently waiting,
Furiously waiting,
This won't happen again.
No, it can't.
This time, three years,
Is just too long.
What are we?