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I*  am  not  weak.
I am strong.
I will get through this.
It may be eating me alive,
but i'll end its hunger.
I am not weak.
I  am  a  *
survivor.
this poem is therapy for me, but whatever you're going through right now, please stay strong. You are amazing and so brave. Just please remember that.
 Sep 2014 Monica's poetry
Jacob
I don't know why people
Strive for perfection
Or how easy it is for some
All I know is that I can't stand it.

When I try,
My body flares up like bombs--
Internally, never externally--
And hides my true colors
To create a cascade of catastrophe
It's like living in a ******* up world
The only difference is that
I actually get to block it out.

I don't remember waking up in the morning
With a smile on my little innocent face
And thinking about how easily I had it
It's too late now, I suppose, to care
Yet I still do.

Have you ever tried to write a poem
On the back of a pack of matches?
Have you ever cried for nights
Til you couldn't breathe?
It's all about you and never about me
And that makes the tears fall for days
Try this.
For a generation labeled as "Reckless" we only seem to be reckless to ourselves.
Midnight thoughts.
I don't believe in love at first sight,
I believe in lust a first sight.
You cant see my soul in a passing glance.
Midnight thoughts.
I ran and ran                                                
from the unknown and                          
I found a broken bridge -                                  
an exit                                                
from this land                                    
full of fears.                              

I looked down                        
it was deep                  
I couldn't see                  
its end                    
my legs grew stiff.            
Shaking,                                    
I sniffed                                
the courage left                      
in the thin air              
and exhaled                    
a short loud shout    
releasing from my mouth      
a huge amount                  
of thick, black smoke              
of which I assumed                              
was the remaining fear        
which my guts              
have been aching    
to let go.

and then I bent a little -          
focused every energy                            
left in my body,                  
every drop of hope                        
left in my heart,                                  
every courage                                              
left in my lungs -                                  
to my legs                                
to my ankles                                      
to my feet.                                                  

Hoping to reach the other side,                                                                          
I closed my eyes                                                                                                

and *jumped.
where do our dreams go after we wake up? do they just vanish and be forgotten? i wonder.
 Sep 2014 Monica's poetry
Creep
That moment when your hormones
Get the better of you
And a cute guy walks by
And you notice,
And then
Stare and
Stare and
Stare,
Like you had a chance, and he will look your way...
Like, repost if you have experienced this!!
I'm scared.
I don't know what I fear.
The walls are scaring me,
Like they did last year.

I'm scared.
I just want to know
Why something is still so painful
Though it happened long ago.

I'm scared.
My eyes water, my chest is tight.
You know something's wrong,
When all day long you dread the night.

For truly, I am scared of the dark,
Of it's voices, its talent for decay.
I spend my long long nights,
Praying for the safety of the sun,
And the comfort of the day.
I wrote this about one of those nights, when you can't sleep because you can't stop thinking about something miserable, and it makes you feel genuinely scared and alone in your own bed.
 Sep 2014 Monica's poetry
NitaAnn
She sighs,
the whole world is crashing down
piece by piece it falls upon the ground.

She's tired,
of dealing with all this pain
she wants it to stop, she feels insane

She's sad,
even though you see a smile
they've all been fake for a long time now

She hopes,
that things will be okay
but she's tired of fighting every day.

She wants,
to just feel happy in her life
no more running to that glistening knife.

She cares,
but things now seem to mean a lot less
like the heart that's bleeding in her chest.

She cries,
but no one's around to hear
she knows she's alone; her greatest fear.

She's scared,**
she can feel herself dim from sight
there seems to be nothing left tonight.
and she had
eyes like ghosts
invisible and
haunting with 
their past lives
and last loves

pale white
wrists with
bones and
veins protruding 
like the
lined drips of
a cemetery candle

her heartbeat
was an 
eerie melody 
filling my 
nightmares

yet I feared 
the day that
this symphony
would stop

that your 
skeleton whispers
would no longer
graze my
shivering cold
heart

and that 
the frightening
things you do
would halt
and be replaced
by an even
eerier silence

right now
I fear you
but when I
think of
losing you
and never
seeing you
again
I wonder

what am I
so scared of?
I run from my fears
As they chase me
At one point in this
Im trapped in a one way street
Forced to face what brings me to shame
Im afraid of my own fears
Im afraid of loving and losing
Im afraid of pain
Im afraid of silence
Im afraid of darkness
**Im afraid of being afraid
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