You think you know a person
Because you looked into their eyes
And thought you saw their soul
It was really just my pool of lies
You believed them

My real soul hides behind my eyes
Where no one ever looks

I know
How to paint a picture
of the world you want
To live in
You come inside

I burn it with the colors in my hair

I used to bleed sometimes
The blood is all dried up now
My heart doesn't have a job anymore
It wanted one, so I
Fed it poison to pump

Through my veins
Through my body
Through my mind

Everyone has a story
Everyone wants to tell it
There are some who lock it away
They pretend it doesn't exist until one day it gets so fat from slowly eating their soul that they can't hold it anymore or squeeze it back into the box it was held in and then it it coming up their throat and tears are mixing with blood and with sweat and then finally after so many years and years of this suffocating existence they
Die
And they have peace
Finally

But then there are some
Who give out little pieces of their story
On little pieces of paper
To everyone who walks by
And there's a note on the back of each slip

It says "Love Me"

Some nights, do you lay in bed
Finding it hard to sleep
Battling with thoughts in your head?

No other choice but to witness old wounds reopen
Like a book you've read a thousand times
You know what's coming
Still, it catches you by surprise
Do you hope, wish and pray that someone was there to wipe your blurry eyes?
Even after all these years you recall each detail
Forced to relive your darkest fears

Some nights, do you lay in bed
Finding it hard to sleep
Battling with thoughts in your head?

Do you?

l.v.s

Beaten and abused
Used and broken time after time again
Everytime I rupture there is this pain of becoming new again
As soon as I feel I am worthy
As soon as I feel I am sharp
I become broken again
The two sides of me become worn and tattered
As people use me to correct the mistakes they have made.
They are the one who have made the mistake, yet I pay for it.
No matter the bite marks I get, or the hands that have explicitly touch me.
Nobody keeps me for long
I become thrown on the ground
Walked all over
Though one might pick me up, I always end up back on harsh, hard flooring.
Looking up to the heavens
I grow continually weary as more and more use me.
I can feel myself shrinking into this nothingness.
They sometimes try to even disguise me to make me new again
Added accessories to me to cover up my flaws.
But under it all I am fatigued and overworked.
But under it all I still show the burnt yellow and pink top
But under it all I am still myself
For I am just a pencil.

You know those tears you get
When you can't stop laughing
Because you don't want to
And they just rest on your cheeks
Until you finish your laughter
And you wipe them away

You know those tears you get
When you watch a sad movie
And you feel like the characters are real
Even though they're not
And the tears just rest by your lips
Until the movie is over
And you wipe them away

You know those tears you get
When you say goodbye to a friend
And you don't want them to go
But they need to go
And the tears just rest on your chin
Quivering
Until the dust settles
And you wipe them away

You know those tears you get
When you walk down the aisle
And everything is perfect
When love is beautiful
And the tears just collect on your eyes
Until you need to blink
And you wipe them away

You know those tears you get
When you remember yesterday
And you wish it were alive again
But it isn’t
And the tears just fall to the ground
They soak into the Earth
And you can't wipe them away

She's looking out the window
A tear rolls down her cheek
She can't believe
what she had  just seen
The way he up and left
Slamming the door as he went
She called me on the phone
I said hello
There was a vulnerability
In her voice,
it was a conversation
In which I had no choice
And so I rocked up at your house
You opened the door
And that is when I saw

The pain was really aching
Inside your heart was breaking
I had to grab your hands
To stop them from shaking

It's okay girl
Let your mascara run
I'll hold you in these arms
As long as you need
It's okay girl
Let your mascara run
I'll clean you up
When you're done,
So let your mascara run

I sat you down on the couch
And looked into your eyes
There was a fire raging inside
But you didn't show it
Instead, you were breaking down
So low upon the ground
Tell me what happened now?
That's when you looked away from me

The pain was really aching
Inside your heart was breaking
I had to grab your hands
To stop them from shaking

It's okay girl
Let your mascara run
I'll hold you in these arms
As long as you need
It's okay girl
Let your mascara run
I'll clean you up,
When you're done,
So let your mascara run

She was staring at the ground
And I was running through scenarios in my mind
That's when you turned to me and said
He's met another girl
I saw him with her the other night
I thought I could forgive him
He said he'd make it right
Am I really that unlovable
Am I just not enough
Is that why he left me like this
Maybe I deserved this

The pain was really aching
Inside your heart was breaking
I had to grab your hands
To stop them from shaking

It's okay girl
Let your mascara run
I'll hold you in these arms
As long as you need
It's okay girl
Let your mascara run
I'll clean you up
When you're done,
So let your mascara run

You're always so quick,
To blame yourself
The blame is not yours
The blame lies with him
He obviously couldn't
See the perfect girl
Standing in front of him
You're loyal,
You never break the trust
That's why your heart
Has taken the fall
It's not weakness
It's a beautiful thing
It just means
You deserve better than him

The pain was really aching
Inside your heart was breaking
I had to grab your hands
To stop them from shaking

It's okay girl
Let your mascara run
I'll hold you in these arms
As long as you need
It's okay girl
Let your mascara run
I'll clean you up
When you're done,
So let your mascara run

©2017 Written By Benji James