i bet even after all this time
that if my chest were to
ache with emptiness enough
like it used to i could go to your house
and find the outline of our bodies
on your dark blue bed sheets
i have spent the last year
both trying to run from you
and find you at the same time
but i left everything i knew
about falling in love
on that mattress and
it's still settling there
like dust and
all i can do is write about you
until it comes back to me,
or by some kind of miracle,
you decide to.

Let me see you frown
Let me see you smile
A light has drawn across
Beating down on your restless head
There is nothing left
Of that dream we had.

I count how many times
I have nearly died
Keeping you tight to my chest
Fighting with bloodied fists
And drenched in regret
I'm not your saviour
I'm just your clown.

I see a twinkle in your eye
Glistening like frosty stars
That gives me chills
And some will to survive
The onslaught of demons
That cry in my head of lies.

I seek response
From the busker on the street
He sings a sweet sweet song
But doesn't acknowledge me
He's my son.

My heart is a natural disaster
Waiting to explode and to make
The wall blacker
I keep it in just to keep myself alive.

I'm a joker
But tonight I feel afraid
That I might disown her
This poetic verse full of bleakness.

That sweet sweet song!

I am not what I am,
Nor am I what people say I am.

I am a locked box,
Full of things I cannot share.
I am sly as a fox,
Often portraying that I do not care.

But this of course is untrue.
What do I desire?
You and your unyielding fire.
And yet I can never seem to tell you.

Who am I?
I am the unknown.

They say to travel down the road less traveled by.
But what happens when its a dead end?... pushing u back to the mainstream ****.
Nothing is ever enough, you cant get yourself to get up.
Nor become the same as everyone.
You dont know how.
How to talk to people,
how to get places.
nothing.
I knew life wasnt gonna be easy.
But why couldnt I prepare myself or get off my arce sooner, and do something, why cant I still?
Why cant I be someone better.

It always ends up being the same.
Having the wrong insight.
Why do I have this state of mind. why havent I changed it.

Feeling like I cant make friends, or be confident, nor have a need to live.
Never knowing why I need to be on this earth.
Another step is all I can take.

Moving on from this place.

Seasons change by month
I change day by day each year
Seasons stay the same

Goodbye doesn't always mean the end
Like a broken heart that can never be mend
Sometimes it means a new beginning
Forget the past and start believing

Say goodbye to the guy that broke your heart
Goodbye to the memories that tore you apart
Goodbye to the girl who was never been smart
Goodbye to the place where it all starts

Remember there are things we are better without
Like relationships that will never work out
Stop thinking and living the past
Instead, tell yourself "It will be the last"

Everything happens for a reason
Like winter changes to another season
Welcome a new day with a smile and say "hi"
Because sometimes, there's really good in goodbye.

it
takes
a lot of
desperation
dissatisfaction
and
disillusion
to
write
a
few
good
poems.
it's not
for
everybody
either to
write
it
or even to
read
it.

there are times
i am supposed to be happy
like when i am with my friends,
throwing my head back and covering my mouth
as i shake with laughter
at a joke someone jut made.

but then day turns to night
and my carefree grin turns into an unexplainable sadness,
etched on my face like a tattoo.
and i lay in bed,
thinking about all the things i wish i could say,
and all the things i'm afraid to admit.

it's nights like these when i realize,
i am many things.
i am happy and sad,
outgoing and shy,
crazy and quiet.

but mostly,
i am just empty.