there are times
i am supposed to be happy
like when i am with my friends,
throwing my head back and covering my mouth
as i shake with laughter
at a joke someone jut made.

but then day turns to night
and my carefree grin turns into an unexplainable sadness,
etched on my face like a tattoo.
and i lay in bed,
thinking about all the things i wish i could say,
and all the things i'm afraid to admit.

it's nights like these when i realize,
i am many things.
i am happy and sad,
outgoing and shy,
crazy and quiet.

but mostly,
i am just empty.