I am unsure of where to go.

I was always told
That life would show me the way,
And Frost told me-
To take the road less traveled.
But the roads do not seem clear to me.
Where do I go?
What do I do?
How do I find my way?

I have taken on so many identities,
Worn so many masks,
Covered up my emotions,
For so long.
I do not even know
Who I am anymore.

I stood at the edge of the cliff
Thousands of feet in the sky.
And I asked myself,
How do I know
I cannot fly,
If I have never tried?
I pondered on the question,
And realized,
I needed to find out.
So I jumped.

They tell you
To wish upon the stars
So you find one that falls
Close your eyes
And wish with all your might
But you never knew
The stars couldn't bring back the past
Or the dead
The stars can't ever get you what you want

They never tell you
That even the stars
Have their limits.

And then you were gone-
No goodbyes,
No last words-
You floated away out of existence.
It was as if you never were there.
And I missed you-
Missed you in a way only I could.
I missed the torn half of my heart,
That seemed to crumble to dust,
When I found out you were gone.
And I cried.
It was a hurricane sweeping the pain away.
I knew I'd be alone,
And I hated it.
Because I was your daughter.
And I was alone,
Left by my best friend-
My father.
And you left me here

I followed you to the river
Because you promised to keep me afloat.
We stopped at the deepest point
And you let me go
And I was sinking
Sinking
And I was drowning
Drowning
The last thing I saw
Was your face looking at me
Through the ripples in the water.

Oh my
Oh why
Can't you learn?
A friend who uses you
Ends up abusing you
Is not a friend at all
As much as they have you believe
They could care less if you leave
They just want special treatment
But in the end
Only your time was spent
They don't care
So beware
I suggest you stop going down this path
**And get your head out of their ***!

You're the book
I've read many times before.
The one with the protagonist
Who does all the wrong things
Who doesn't see the wrong things
Others are doing to them
Behind their backs.
All I can do is scream at them
Even though they will not hear me.
I become so frustrated,
Yet I continue to turn the page
To see what will happen next
Even though
I already know the ending to this book.

My heart brought happiness
Back to my life
And my mind
Made it go away

It's 12 am
And you're at my door
My chest says yes,
But my brain says, "no more."
You walk away confused
While I stand in the doorway
With my heart in my throat
And the pain coursing through my veins
I'm thinking, "My God, this is insane"
I whisper, "I'm sorry.
You deserve better than me.
You're too pure for this darkness*"
I hope one day you will see
Why I had to make you leave.

You would never know
By my silence
And my smile.
That I hate myself
And I hate everyone else, too.

You would never know
By the way he drinks his alcohol
Every night,
That he wakes up early every morning,
To water his daughter's memorial flowers.

You would never know
By the way she laughs at others
That she is afraid.
That one day,
She will receive the laughter.

You would never know
By the exposing clothing she wears
That when she was younger
Her stepfather
Taught her a lesson.

You would never know
By the way he bullies others
That when he goes home
His father,
Bullies him.

You would never know
Just by looking at us,
That we are all messed up.