the thing about heartbreak
is that it doesn’t really stop
hurting.

you feel it when you
see their face in the
halls.

you feel it when you
find a new lover who treats you
right.

but they don’t text the same
but they don’t talk the same
but they don’t feel the

same thing happens
when you see them for the first
time.

it’s outside your favorite coffee shop.
they’re walking towards you and you keep
going.

now the coffee is cold
and it’s bitter and you can’t drink
it.

don’t make eye contact
don’t make eye contact
don’t make

i sometimes see his face on the
empty milk cartons with “missing”
print.

i sometimes hear his voice
singing the lines to my favorite *******
song.

i sometimes feel his touch
though i only felt it once against my
thumb.

warm and light
warm and light
warm and

light only seeps into my cold
heart again when i finally
sleep.

my eyes shut and my
breath goes steady like a spring
morning.

my body and brain
relax and forget about the cruel
work.

you are the forgotten
you are the forgotten
you are

the thing about heartbreak
is that it doesn’t really stop
hurting.

i am 13 years old and in a brand new
yellow two piece swim suit when
your gaze flickers up then down

you are 21 and it is okay because
i “look old enough to be 18”
but my mother doesn’t think so

she snaps at you to “keep your
eyes in your head boy before you
lose ‘em i promise you that”

i am embarrassed for all the wrong
reasons but it doesn’t click
until years later when i realize it

i wanted my mother to keep it down
let him look but don’t let him touch
it’s okay mom it’s flattering to me

but it is not okay
i was not embarrassed because my
mother had every right

i was ashamed from the way his
male gaze swept across my body
as if he were searching for a meal

i was ashamed because i thought
that’s how women got complimented
how girls were suppose to behave

i was ashamed because “am i
not **** enough for him mom
should no man look at me?”

i was ashamed because i
was 13 and it was the first time
i was introduced to sexuality

but now i am not ashamed
i am angry because
i am not the only one