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 May 2018 Alec
PS
Everything
 May 2018 Alec
PS
He texts me.
It’s impersonal.
What was I expecting it to be?
There’s no real connection except that of a single flame in the altogether too dark caves- or cavres- of our hearts.
I almost backspace it all.

He texts me.
He tells me I’m cute.
Cute is a compliment that’s too easy.
There is nothing in cuteness except that of a noncommittal compliment but it’s meant to make my cheeks blush.
It doesn’t. Nothing does.

He texts me.
It’s nothing at all.
We aren’t saying a thing.
There’s nothing worth saying when you’re talking in circles with a man who can’t understand that you’re more than a surface you show to the world.  
So I say nothing. He says nothing.

He texts me.
We say goodnight.
What was I expecting to feel?
There is nothing in these feelings except that which reminds me of you and I hate that that’s all it is.
So I sit down and think.

And I write you a message.
Every line I want to tell you, everything everything everything that makes me sad that you’re gone.
Everything everything everything that makes me well up in tears- in emotions I thought I was finished feeling.
So I sit down and I write and I write all of everything down.

And I backspace it all.
Maybe it’s all better left unsaid.
 May 2018 Alec
Simpleton
Eyes closed
 May 2018 Alec
Simpleton
Unclench your teeth
Read me with your eyes closed
Hear me with your heart
See me with your soul
 May 2018 Alec
Umi
What I am
 May 2018 Alec
Umi
What I am,
Is not what you are,
Because unlike you, I never was human.
Never was able to really feel emotions, which you all adore,
Been called a demon for that reason, a monster which was deserted,
Emptiness, calm and drenched in the sorrow of never fitting in is what embellishes me, an ornament of true, cruel sadness, undetected.
And yes, I don't understand you, perhaps I don't even want to, knowing what humans are like, I accepted my fate of being alone,
I let my fingernails grow long and sharp to at least fit into the picture of a monster you have put me, because what else do I have left ?
A heart, perhaps which desires to take those under its wing whom suffered the same tragity, orphans with no place or rejected, abused.
And a body, carrying a thousand marks done by a knife, or these nails, in a cold desperate wishing to be normal at least for a day, to not be alone and deserted, with no one left to talk but a silly pen, a pocket watch which is about to stop ticking calmly, gently very soon.
An ember of light, triggers some emotions at rare occasions, which fade into nothingness as the day begins to face it's end, ah, phantoms
So, what I am,
Is not what you are,
Because I am...
A demon.

~ Umi
Living with the asperger syndrome is sure a pain, at least for me.
 May 2018 Alec
Annie
Raw
 May 2018 Alec
Annie
Raw
Hey
This is me
All naked in front of you

My scars are the battles
I lost many
But I won a few

What do you see?
When you look through me
Or to you, is it all blue?

I have craved your presence,
Like the sky needs the moon,
But do you have the slighest clue?

I've waited so you would say,
"I got you", for you could stay –
But none of it could ever be true
 May 2018 Alec
JL Smith
I've been told
I feel too much
I overreact
As I'm easily judged
I overthink
Fervently speak
You dismiss my beliefs
And enforce critique

I've accepted your view
It's not mine to change
But open your mind
As our perspectives exchange

It's a gift and a curse
This heart of mine
For those I love or barely know
I'd drop everything, in the blink of an eye

It's true,
I feel ten times more than you
Your words hold the power
To rip me in two

But also know
I laugh louder than most
Joy floods my veins
Insanely compassionate--diagnosed

Worn heart on my sleeve
Isn't that what they say?
My emotions revealed
Requires more strength than you display

I choose to see good
In most everyone I meet
The world is cold enough
I empathize, I know how it mistreats

The spirit of a child
My soul in search of wonder
At the sight of the ocean
Or the clapping of thunder

I believe this is beauty
A mystery most won't comprehend
I'd face the demons before you
If it meant your nightmares end

I'll never stop feeling so deeply
Believe me when I say I've tried
Every fiber of me is stitched in love
An easy target, but you're welcome inside

© JL Smith
 May 2018 Alec
Aa Harvey
Roses and Sunbeams


Her scent wafts alongside her and sinks into my heart;
For I have become fixated, by a desire for her touch.
She was glorious and overpowering, from the very start;
I am hooked and addicted to her love; she is my drug.


She leads me to distraction, for in her I eyes I am lost;
Hopelessly infatuated with her, I see only roses.
She brings me to Heaven and my trust is all it cost;
For she believes in my faithfulness and in her pocket are posies.


Her words are like sunbeams, bringing light to my darkness
And our candlelit romantic nights; shall never be soiled.
She can remember my love and forget any bitterness;
For I am here to cure her heart and our love can never be destroyed.


She is eternally locked, within a memory of happiness;
For she brings me warmth, when all else in the world is cold and black.
I am alive when our hands are together; embrace me my Goddess.
For I am enslaved by your beauty and I shall never fondness lack.


I have no need to speak to her of my lust for her body;
Because she can see clearly how much I love her; I glide.
In her arms I am forever gladdened, by her proximity;
But if she was ever taken from my eyes, I would surely die.


I need her presence beside me, to guide me along;
This story of a life, as of yet unseen by the world.
But inside her I find, I am locked forever, she is our song;
She is a poem, a poetess, a masterpiece…she is my girl.


She is the flick of the last paint stroke, on the Mona Lisa;
She is the full stop at the end of a play by Shakespeare.
She is the last chip off the shoulder, of the Adonis sculpture;
She is the seal to enclose the writings of a scripture of literature.


She is the last second of pregnancy; she is a new born baby.
She is the last, she is unique, she broke the mould; she is reverie.
She is the Gateway to Heaven; she is the perfect lady.
She is Gods day of rest after a week of creating humanity.


She is the last heartbeat of my life and she is love…
She makes me complete…she is the perfect finishing touch.


(C)2011 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
 May 2018 Alec
SallyGoesRoar
I can feel the rise and fall of my chest with each breath I take
Cant feel the pain or sadness anymore
Counting back from 10, 9, 8
Just a little bit to take the edge off
Just one chance to escape

The warmth washes over me like the sun on a summer day
I can sense the “feelings” I trapped inside trying to come back out and play
But not this time, not today

This is my war to fight
My dark and light
Relive the troubles, or see constant reminders of all my sins?
The question - Who will win?
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