We're all born without bones
But I believe you lacked more
Than a passerby on the street.

Maybe that was because "fragile"
was labeled on your wrist
And the one you called lover
Stole each and every one of your ribs
every time
you woke up
covered in lead.

But I don't miss hearing my name fall from your mouth,
I miss listening to your heart murmur it in my sheets.

I'm wild like the wind
                                  I'm not ready to give in
                 This wolf
She's wild
                       She's    hostile


                                     But yet
         You took the time
                                                                ­   And tamed me

You were brought up to cast the fragile truth
In that summer haze
I dawned something new
You held it like crystals,
Rather glass
It faded like the sky
Gray in the past

You cascaded over sorrow
Scalding your skin
Silver flakes fell
Counting your sins
The lining you drew
That was once my escape
Now hung up like jade
Curling at his nape

All this time
You held my heart it your palm.

*What was I devised?

It's been awhile since I've thought of you,
but I suppose that's because I don't allow myself to think of you anymore.

I don't remember the day I stopped breathing,
It's been so long.
Guilt was a stranger on my doorstep and he sunk his cold hands deep in the pit of my heart;  An abyss he consumed from fall, an abyss that still hangs in his mouth.
Sorrow has him famished.

Your bones had bested me into the shambles of reason. I could not help that your ivory soul stood in my reckless wake, nor that my fingers craved more than the garden that was your skin. I should have known my tongue had diseased your mind with unkept promises.

"You sad soul," the bathroom mirror hissed whenever I swallowed those pills.  The door is all but welcoming, and I stand praying for comfort within the grain.

A regular reservation I had on my rooftop with Guilt served most of my years. We basked under that sea of stars.  I watched one night as he coaxed a few into a glass jar.  
It cowers on my desk still.

I am starting to think
that we were written lovers

and nothing more.

I have no gifts for you,
                                                 my love
Only a fruitless heart to share

Every single day I wait,
For nothing; In my mind.
A numb feeling is set in place,
Unremovable, and too deep to find.
I let the shadows swallow me,
So alone is all I know,
My hidden face from the world,
Too selfless to let it show.
But through the muted darkness,
I see him fall and fold,
Just beyond my touch,
Beyond me to be so bold.
Instead I let him go,
Hoping I did what was right.
He was my fulfilling purpose,
My  only living life.
I skipped a page in a missing book,
and filled myself with a lie,
I told them that I didn’t care,
I turned away and never said goodbye.
Every single day I wait,
For nothing; In my mind.
Everyday I look at myself and ask;
What have I left behind?

*Everything.

Writing for you
gives me such rapture


but on the side
it stresses my shoulders
wears my soul

and forces me to dig up the **truth

Every Breath we breathed
Cold winter air

So it merely seemed
Lonely standing there.

*Silver has always been my friend

No one can know,
What I hide,
Buried so deep,
Dying inside.

No one can see,
What I did,
This fake lie,
So she could live.

No one can hear,
What I said.
This burden forever,
I cannot shed.

No one can taste,
What I lied,
So he could be happy,
The days I cried.

No one can feel,
What I lost,
A love so broken,
So I forgot…

Fake lies,
True secrets,
I cannot tell,
Only keep it..

Starry nights couldn't see*                                  

                         ­         How I wish I could forget her
                                     The way she makes me feel
                                               The way I react
                                        The way she looks at me

                                                             ­                          Cold hearts in December
                                                        ­                                        Couldn't remember
                                                        ­                                              The vow I made
                                                            ­                                         When she stayed


Fire couldn't burn her
She was made of flame
Broken into blur
I don't know what she claims

                                                         ­                                     Five frozen thoughts
                                                        ­                                            Four we all know
                                                            ­                                     One she knows not
                                                             ­                                   And I will not show

Smoke fills the air
Coughing out my life
One soul to spare
Spare me from this strife

                                                      I hold her
                                                like she holds me

Sometimes I stare up at the sky
And count the stars.
But I can never finish before they move on.
The skyline is hate
It pulls the lights out.
I watch in silence as they disappear with a sigh.
My stomach churns at the thought;
The stars are gone.
It’s just a shot in the dark
But it’s aimed right at my throat.
I stare for hours
Days
Weeks
Months
Years.
Time is dead.
I gaze up forever
Just to see a glimpse,
Of those beautiful stars.
But the sun never sets,
The sky never grows dark.
The night never unfold its feathers.
But even then,
I swear I can see one unmoving light,
But it’s gone when I blink.
Maybe it’s my imagination
Maybe I’m going crazy.
After all
I’ve never been able to finish before they’re gone.