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Jul 14 · 399
Home Coming
Maria Jul 14
No quiero vivir donde
My people aren’t elated
Pentru să vin acasă.

I am greeted with tears in their eyes
Își iau avânt să mă întâlnesc căt mai rapid
Estoy envuelto en los abrazos más grandes.

They insist to hold my bags for me,
Una mano en mi espalda y la otra en mi equipaje
Mă ghidează la parcare.

Niciodată întreb pentru o călătorie
Una experiencia impagable por el amor que me rodea.
I always get a pang of emotions even for others experiencing the same with their family.

Never enough time
Niciodată destul timp
Nunca suficiente tiempo.
I wrote my first poem in Romanian, English and Spanish (the three languages I know) because I wanted to show how the words may come to me more easily in one language rather than the other. I tried to change up the order I used each language per line. Will continue experimenting with this. They aren’t direct translations by any means (except the last stanza), and that’s why it is special to me and anyone who speaks any of these languages, you’ll get different pieces (that make up me).
Jul 14 · 493
Hinge
Maria Jul 14
perfume samples at the airport
lukewarm bite-size samples at Costco
the first chapter of an ebook.

a whiff, a taste, a peek.

do you want more?
will you commit to buying the full product?
or will you keep searching?
chasing? craving?

it seems to be inexplicably conditional -
for some, you’ll stop dead in your tracks,
knowing to stock up.
for many, you’ll move on,
forgetting you ever halted to try it.

but maybe you’ll remember how it felt,
deep-down it resonated with you,
and it’ll affect your other future decisions.

what makes us fall in love?
what makes us tether,
souls tied,
minds aligned,
keep choosing to fall with each other?
just some thoughts about why we like what we do and how we know to commit. Tried using some sensory imagery to depict the seemingly random way we decide to pursue further.
Jul 2 · 390
Margarita
Maria Jul 2
On my last day of solo travel
I made the split decision to take stairs down
A random, haphazard side street.
I sat down at a cocktail bar
All by myself.
The only patron in this basement.

I was greeted with a smile
Missing one tooth
In the dark room
Asked what liquors I preferred
There is no menu
I listed off what I had tried and what I wanted to
She would sip a bit of the drink
Pipette on my outstretched hand
So I could give my input
As we constructed the flavors together
Laughing, eagerly offering and accepting my
suggestions of what the drink needed
Childlike wonder, curiosity, and play.

We experimented with absinthe
And amaretto, cherry, lavender, banana, sake, gin
pickled *****, coconut *** and umami bitters
She made me my first tiramisu martini.
A total of 5 cocktails in 5 hours spent together.

Lightly
I asked her why she moved to Prague -
Darkly
She said the single word “war”
She had to leave Kyiv or risk dying there.
She said she is so broke that she buys cheaper shoes that don’t fit and pads them with paper towels but still gets blisters.
She lives in a one bedroom with her mother.
Men started groping her on the train as early as nine.
She sincerely wishes her uncle would die.
She has made no friends in this city since she moved a year ago.
She has gotten fired before for being unlikeable and standing up for herself.
She painted the cocktail bar walls sage green after hours for free because the manager could not afford hiring a painter and she genuinely likes this job.
She is a polyglot: knows French, German, Ukrainian, Russian and English.
She’s vegan but she tries the fish-based bitters and egg whites for work every night and likes their taste.
She has not been to a doctor in years because she cannot afford it.
She has overdue medical bills racking up interest she worries about.
She got fined once for having an expired train ticket - now she always checks the expiration when she rides and has a valid ticket.
She points out, in her embroidered dress and matching embroidered jacket, that there’s cigarette holes from the ash the wind blew that she doesn’t have time to mend.
She has a college degree and a virtual master’s degree.
She thinks she’s old at 31.
She doesn’t trust men anymore.
She thinks that she’ll never get married or have children, even though she really wanted to when she was a little girl.
She was eager to smoke a cigarette outside when I needed to use the restroom.
She never let my water glass get empty.
She doesn’t know how she’ll make ends meet next month.
She asserts that life is unfair but that these are the cards she’s been dealt and they’ve made her stronger.

She thanked me as I left and told me that the conversation we had made her evening better
It was the most freeing feeling she had felt in months.
Being able to share and lighten the load of what she has been carrying alone made her emotional.
She says typically tourists and locals won’t ask or listen.
She feels othered by both.

We agree with tears in our eyes that we don’t even know each other’s names:
Margarita
Maria
We laugh, our names are so similar.
Jul 2 · 720
Sunset Devoid of Color
Maria Jul 2
Sunsets are transitory,
They give way to night
We fear the dark because hereditarily
Our eyes are not adjusted to the absence of light.
So we hold our loved ones tighter,
The last rays streaking our silhouettes.

Whether the backdrop is the ocean,
Mountains, countryside, cities or sky,
We rush to chase these settings -

Watching the sun fall over the horizon
is a reminder
That everything is fleeting.
Everything wilts and decays.

We watch the sun set so often,
For as long as we can keep our eyes open,
Burning our retinas,
Because we want to marvel,
Attempt to capture all the light before it fades.

A testament to bearing witness and losing
Rather than never having seen at all.
Prompt was describe a sunset without any colors. Basically tried to describe what people feel when they look at a sunset and why they do, rather than what they’re seeing. So challenging to not use golden. It would be even harder to describe it to someone who has never seen anything so not using references like sky or light or silhouette…
Jul 2 · 74
Clear as Crystal
Maria Jul 2
You were crystal clear like
No clouds in the night sky.
Stars twinkling in the distance.
Our reflection in the lake.
When you told me
That you loved me.

You were opaque like opal
When you told me you
Weren't sure anymore.
You wanted to take a break
Fully aware that we were at risk
Of cracking, of shattering -
That was worth sacrificing for you.
But your conflicting confusing wording
Led me to believe there was hope.

I should let a caged bird fly away
See the world
Experience it all
Wait for it to come back home,
Patiently and faithfully.

You kept me in this in-between,
I had the naive belief
That the sediment would settle
If I did,
You would too.

All the sediment:
The broken promises
Tears dried on my cheeks
Drinks half-drank on the kitchen counter
Hours unslept and floors unswept,
And words I recorded and reworded
In an effort to best remember and reframe you.

All this sediment coated my mind and home.
I thought it would accumulate to enough carbon
To create a diamond under enough pressure
If we put our love together when we came back together
It would be set in our wedding rings
But you never did.
You not coming back became crystal clear eventually,
And the smoke and mirrors eventually faded.

So I blew away the dust
Began the cleanse.
The search.
Instigated and led by me.
Prompt was title the poem “Clear as Crystal” 37 weeks ago.
Jul 2 · 190
Spark
Maria Jul 2
Meeting you felt like a spark
Kindling catching fire.
The catalyst that started it all.

Sparking ember; light flashes
Delight and glee at the power of it all.
Life starting.

As we picked up speed,
We lost control
We lost ourselves
We lost the magic.

The twinkle of possibility
Turned into fear
Of what we could become.

The fire was not contained.
It kept spreading
We did not how to slow it down
How to stop it
How to control it.

Molten lava dripped down
Leaving behind a barren mountain.
Burnt trees and homes
Destruction.

You loved me so fiercely that I burned,
Now you’ll only be left with ashes.

I hope you learned the risks of playing with fire.
Prompt was incorporate the line, “You loved me so fiercely that I burned. Now you’ll only be left with ashes.” 40 weeks ago.
Jul 2 · 226
Mind
Maria Jul 2
My mind is maddening,
Millions of Miles racing.

Melancholy, menacing
Marginalities.

Machine magnifying
Minuscule moments.

Missing motivation,
Mistreating my mental.

Micro-managing me.
Must moor myself.
Prompt was a poem that makes heavy use of alliteration 147 weeks ago.
Jul 2 · 131
Life Without You
Maria Jul 2
If I
Erased all of you,
Wiped you from existence,
Smudged your kisses from my face,
Unwrapped your limbs from my body,
Ripped your page from the storybook.
A life without you.

This unconditional affection,
This unwavering acceptance,
This unselfish appreciation,
This unlike anything else,
Is life with you.

I would never know true love,
I would spend my time searching for it,
In everyone I met.
I would probably think I found it.
But it would be a tormented deja vu,
Existing after
Life with you.
Prompt was writing a poem on what life would be like without your favorite person 149 weeks ago.
Jul 2 · 427
Go
Maria Jul 2
Go
Go alone
Go scared
Go overwhelmed
Just go.

Now is the right time.
You're thinking about doing it.
So go.

Do not talk yourself out of it.
Recall all the changes you've ever made:

Trick question - you cannot -

There’s immeasurably many
Just know that almost all have been uncomfortable.

It’s better to live with the regret of doing
Rather than having not.
Train yourself to try

You cannot circumvent the discomfort
You can welcome and embrace the growth.
Jul 2 · 84
Recital
Maria Jul 2
Squirm
Twitch
Retch
Scream

Rid yourself of the doubt,
Dance your self clean.

When the curtain falls,
If there is nobody in the audience
Applaud yourself.
Jul 2 · 294
3 Suitcases
Maria Jul 2
My good friend taught me that all you need is three suitcases.
A life can fit into three: two checked bags and a carryon.

What if I packed up all my possessions:
1.
My clothes.
My apprehension, doubts and fears tucked tightly away in packing cubes.
2.
My electronics.
My independence, self reliance and self love radiating brightly.
3.
My books.
My excitement, joy and optimism for a new chapter.

What if I did not renew my lease in September?
Whose approval am I waiting for?
Who do I think I will disappoint?

It does not have to be permanent.
It could be just a year.
And then it could change again.
Is that not the beauty of life?
Your life grows around the decisions you make.

You are never stuck.
You can decide.
Again.
Again.
Again.
I was just inspired to be intentional about where I’m living in my 20s. A few intentional plays on words with what I would realistically need to pack and how I would also need to implicitly (here explicitly) pack my emotions about it all to have the courage to get on the flight.
Jul 2 · 51
Czech Bloom
Maria Jul 2
Shared breaths, kisses, and laughter in a borrowed bed,
Two souls unbound, inhibitions shed, as morning light crept overhead.
Our lives didn’t halt but they intersected briefly.
Neither at fault, intertwined bodies, beliefs held deeply.
Dried up aching space,
Conversations I cannot retrace.

I am only left with the phantom limb of you
A vestigial appendage I had for just a night
Wondering if we had more time, would we have worked?
Did we only made sense because we were drunk?

How sincere were the tender forehead kisses you sowed?
Rose seeds took root in my mind,
Dawn’s light never came, nothing grew.
Should I water or salt them?
Thorns prickle, but blood drawn proves it was real.

Fleeting, ephemeral, and hazy recollection
Was it pity, naivety, hope or a combination?
How singular was this experience?
If we were not meant to be,
Will I spend my time searching
For your petals budding in strangers?
Oct 2016 · 308
Thoughts
Maria Oct 2016
What I've learned is that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you were the prettiest, had the most boyfriends, or even was the smartest. It doesn't matter if you are rich, poor, vegan, white, black... All these categories, created in an effort to limit people and attempt to understand them-- in the time we have on Earth. Enjoy. Live. Do whatever you want. And if you want other people to be part of your story, journey, adventure-- whatever you want to call it-- do it... why not? Stop being the impediment that keeps you from pursuing your dreams. Stop saying "tomorrow" because it isn't guaranteed. One day will be your last day. And you won't know it when the dawn comes that it will be your last one, and that when the last trace of sunshine fades from the sky and the stars appear in the night sky, freckles on the Universe’s face, and you close your eyes, and you just never wake up. Cease to exist. Eternally.
Oct 2016 · 256
For Jimmy
Maria Oct 2016
A little boy without anyone
Stood alone in the playground
He was taller than most
And wore the same blue varsity jacket
Oversized, just like him
Cast away and dull
Like the monotonous life he could have led.
But instead of choosing to be sad,
Desolated and scared,
He was happy.

He tried playing with all the the schoolchildren.
He tried pushing the girls on the swings.
Mothers weren’t too happy about that.
He tried playing basketball with the boys.
Fathers weren’t too happy about that.

A little boy who looked like an adult
Lived a lone wolf life while still a pup.
Although he was everyone’s friend,
I don’t recall anyone being his.

Even I forgot about him.
Until.
Last week. Car accident.
He died too young.
Still a child.

But he was happy.
Happier than most will be in their lifetimes.

-m.m.
Jimmy had an intellectual disability, was in his mid 30s; those who were meeting him for the first time were surprised he wanted to play with elementary schoolers, but he was always kind and respectful. RIP
Apr 2016 · 330
Question
Maria Apr 2016
Do we matter?
Nov 2014 · 2.1k
Sandy Soap
Maria Nov 2014
She thought she had it all
everything she needed
tried keeping it all to herself
tightly in her hands
but she didn't notice it slipping from her grasp.
and darling, don't you know,
you can't hold onto slippery soap

then
oppurtunies missed
friends lost
through her fingers
slowly but surely
turned to an hourglass
grains of
s
   a
n
     d
falling aimlessly
unnecessarily
to the ground
just another lost girl writing poetry at 11pm
Nov 2014 · 622
Why Do We
Maria Nov 2014
cut flowers
because we believe
that they are so wonderful

and our wrists
because we percieve
that we will never be beautiful
Please don't ever do that to yourself, stay strong lovelies!
Nov 2014 · 3.3k
Bullying
Maria Nov 2014
I'm scared that no one takes me seriously
That everything I say is labeled "dumb"
That they laugh when my back is turned
That I'm secretly "the joke".

I wonder if the people who get talked about
Know and don't give a sh*t,
Or are completely oblivious to it.

If it were me,
If I were the **** of those jokes,
I would crack
And crumble into shards.
And I surely would not make it out alive.

                            -m.m.
how i feel about bullying, i guess, stay strong, and please stop this hate ;(
Nov 2014 · 412
Conrad
Maria Nov 2014
I pictured you so differently in mind
I'm disappointed with you turned out to be
Who you were all along.
I've spent my lifetime searching
Four years allotted just to you.

While you...
You talked over me
You ignored me
You didn't care about me
You made me feel worthless
And I was in love with you.

But I made excuses for you
I wrote your lines
Molded you into my Prince Charming.
I made you the lead
Of my autobiography.
But when the curtain closed
You were still the same boy
Who wasn't in love with me.

Then one day I fired you,
I cast someone else.
But you kept returning
In the flashbacks.

Stop grinning.
Stop grazing my arm.
Stop winking.
Stop
     c
            o
    n
f
       u
          s
  i
n
      g

me.

How can I move on
If you're still in the script?
If you're still in the play?
If you're still in my life?
You know I can't,
And that's your ace,
You've done it to plenty of other directors like me.
And you've always been a good actor.
just good old middle school love reflections
Nov 2014 · 451
Smiling
Maria Nov 2014
No one asks you why you are smiling.
Sometimes it's just easier to smile,
By pretending
You become invisible,
You go unnoticed,
And it's easier
Than explaining what you can't put into words,
To souls who don't even care anyways.
just a thought

— The End —