Why am I of this generation?
The universe denied me joy
I now hate the world…..
It’s painful enough that I have to drown in this blissful agony
To what extent do I draw the line between hate and love?
Is it possible that I can be free as a dove?
I yearn for freedom like a slave
Because all I do is for life’s sake
No one knows me, the real
Nobody knows my smile, my joy…
The true me that illuminates when the fake pretence is stripped off
I carry hate around as though I depended on it to live
I bear great regrets that have got me whishing
Whishing I had life’s reset button
But then again it’s a wish
Since forever I will perish
I wish I had someone who could listen
And not for once glisten with judgment
I guess my own heart bleeds through paper
As my dark soul moves to the rhythm of my pen
I thought I had it all
But I now realize…. Any minute now…. I might just fall
Can I have a friend who will hold my hand?
I guess the utter silence means pen and paper are forever with me
But dear paper, dear handsome pen…. may ask…
What is it to be human???

If you want to find out about someone’s character you ask them how do they gauge truth, or how do they know something is true?

Most will say because so and so said so, some variant of outsourced knowledge. Some "Religion." Some "Scientist." Some "Dr." Some "Guru." Some "Parent." Some "Mother." Some "Father." Some "Thought triggered by someone else." Some “Theory.”

Rare people will say they don’t know, they’re a bit more evolved because they see the conditioning. They see the confusion.

The rarer people will say they know because they’ve observed for themselves, not blindly, but with purity enough to observe correctly.

And surprisingly,
Your kiss on my spine
Is always enough

Asleep in my bed dreaming of you
With every breath that I breathe
I prove this is true

Snoring so loudly I didn't hear
The shatter of glass somewhere near
He came through my window
With one swift kick
Or maybe it was a soft click

Waking with fright
On the calmest of nights
He makes his way to the bed
And places a gun on my head

He orders me to stand
And binds both my hands
"Get down on your knees!"
I hear him decree

He asks where my valuables are
And I answer
"Sir, my only treasure was lost to cancer"

"Shut up!" He says
"I know you've got money!
You must take me for a fool.
Do you think this is funny?"

"No this isn't funny", I reply
"But the truth is I'm a very broke guy
I lost my wife, she was my soul.
Ever since that day
I've never felt whole"

"See, we used all our money
To pay for her care
She went in for treatments
That got us nowhere"

I'm kneeling here now
Seeing no purpose in another day
I wish he'd pull the trigger
I don't want to stay

When he realizes I have nothing
He hits me with the gun
I hear him remark
"Well, boy, it's been fun"

His finger clenches the trigger
I await my fate with glee
Be patient my darling
Your face I'll soon see

I hear the shot before I feel the sting
In that moment I don't feel a thing
Then a thousand volcanoes
Erupt in my brain

Seeing it in the third person now
I look down upon the scene
But what does it all mean?

I see my own head exploding
Covering a picture of us on the wall
In my brain goo
You were always on my mind
Now my mind is on you

How do we slowly die again and again and again?
How do we seperate from ourselves repeatedly?
Why do my tears never feel new?
They're the same every week, every few days.
Maybe my love isn't enough.
Maybe my motives are lost.
Maybe I'm letting go.
Maybe my thoughs are wandering to parts they dont belong.
When have my intentions ever been wrong?
Why do I feel so sad about us?

The empty space on my bed where you should be is occupied only by the thought of you

The empty curve of my waist where your arm should be resting is filled only by the desire for it to be there

The empty space between my fingers where yours should be entwined with mine is occupied only by the thought of it happening

The empty feeling of my lips without the company of yours is filled with the impossible wish

So happy
Yet secretly so dark

So loved
but yet she hates herself

Shes like every one else
But yet so different

It's a throwaway age for one and for all.
Nobody wants to hear the heart's call
Society around us is falling apart,
Things just go wrong right from the start.
Friendships appear to be a disdain,
Instead we use others for personal gain.
Running for cover, from  storm rain,
Feelings for others slaughtered and slain.
Already the price is being  paid.
Society gone and relationships frayed.
It will only get worse as standards downgrade.
Are we numb to the slide, or really afraid?
We can change it all, its not too late.
Bring on the love instead of the hate.
All is not lost if we'd communicate.
Destruction should never be our final fate.