i loved girl
who had blonde hair
but i was scared
and instead of words
there was only silence

you look at me
i kid myself that you like me
there's snow outside
wind moves limbs
maybe i'm self-absorbed
because how dare i think
that someone likes me
but there's snowing harder
and appear more delusions

I'm laying in my bed
another day
I lost truck of time

they say
go out
why you always like that

I can only smile to them
and quietly say
I don't care anymore

I haven't changed my clothes in days
I haven't brushed my hair
I stoped taking shower

I'm not sure
if I'm even exist
or I'm just shadow of person

maybe I died
and I just didn't notice
I'm not the smartest anyway

If I'm still alive
I would die
But I'm too tired for this

my eyelids so heavy
I lost my body
in the darkness
how can I make myself happy
when I can't make myself
get up

I laugh when you say
I can't feel this way
I feel

you are mad when I say
you can't think this way
you think

i don't think i miss you
i miss everything what i lost
when you've gone
i miss every unrealized chance
every memories that we won't share
every advice and every hug
that you no more can give me
i want it so much
but you can't come
and bring it back
you are so cruel

Is it accident
that we met at the day
when my happiness began?

I'm so sorry that my poems are so cheesy
I'm so sorry that my life is so
worthless
I'm so sorry that I still talk to you
I'm so sorry that I love you
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry

You wish
to prevent yourself
from sadness and pain

I can show you
how to
forget

It's not hard
just hide them all
in the sand

deep down
your throat
and your heart

act like
there is nothing
in your mind

learn to stop
your eyes
from cry

and build
shel where
you can disappear

but remember
that feelings
always came together

sadness and
happiness
no longer in your heart

being numb is
in prize
you won't care anymore

because you can't feel
how you can be sad
that your mother died

you can't now cry
you can't now love
but you won't hurt anymore