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I want to be there for others who need me.
But I am barely there for me and when myself shouts for my embrace, I kiss it with violence.
Self destruction
Take me back to that night,
where the lamppost was the only light in the sky.
Where you turned around and looked into my eyes, I held my breath and your lips met mine.

I felt you die in my arms that morning,
You left without any warning.
You left without a word,
You broke my wings so it would take me longer to walk away from the hurt.

It was your last chance.
And you left,
Without any regret.
I wish you held on,
I can never move on,
this for you is my swan song.

I'm Mourning you every day.
No one compares,
you were the one for me.
But I wasn't enough,
I've tried to become tough.
But his love wasn't strong enough to stay.
I wish you could see my pain.
I'm mourning you until my dying day.
 Nov 2017 Kirsten Waskewich
nim
"Write a poem for us to understand".

Why would I?
My poem's my heart and my ribs,
The galaxy scarf that's been strangling me for years;
My lover and companion,
My cup of tea that I enjoy in while hating it.

I enjoy my smooth ride in my imagination,
Where I do things I want to do here,
But which my mind itself does not let me do.
Here.

It's my sacred temple and the saviour who the temple is for.

Why do you have a need to understand it?
I'm the one jealously holding it,
Yet trembling to explain it.

My daily dose of galaxy.

My daily dose of hedonism.

Daily dose of suffocating.

Every day, closer to death, the closest to madness.

Welcome to the cup of my universe.
Enjoy it and hate it.
Explain if you can.
;)
 Nov 2017 Kirsten Waskewich
mk
i have days
when i need you
more than
ever before.
i miss you
bold* what is wrong? Why can't you just be happy? Just let it all go!

Do you not understand that I am trying to be happy and I'm trying to let it all go, but I can't. I'm just going through life pretending to be okay.

bold Why are you such an attention seeker who cannot possibly help yourself? Why do you cut when it's stupid and pointless?

If I do this for attention why do I hide it? Why do I smile and laugh in front of you pretending nothing is wrong? To me it's to help me cope, so I can feel in control of some aspect of my life...

Don't come and accuse me of doing this for attention. There is so much going on in my head that you would never understand. Please do not question or judge me... you may know my name but you do not know my story.
when did fine come to mean depressed, anxious, scared, suicidal, desperate, self-conscious?
when did we start to lie?

"I'm fine," she says, as her stomach gnaws away at her insides, growling for food

"I'm fine," he says, as he pulls the sleeves of his sweater down over his blood-stained wrists

"I'm fine," she says, after purging all of her dinner

"I'm fine," he says, when the anxiety gets so bad that he can't breathe right

"I'm fine," they say, as they write their last goodbye,
one last lie.
She looked at her blades,
Than looked at her wrist...
She missed that feeling,
But her scars were healing.
She wanted to stay strong,
But i's  been so long...
She put the blade on her wrist,
And than made her hands into a fists...
She dropped the blade,
And began to cry..
She couldn't believe how long it's been,
Since she felt those blades cutting her self.....
She should be so proud,
But voices in her head got so loud...
She sat there in pain,
Because she knew she was  going insane!!!
3rd poem  hope u like  it :)
i wish to kiss her wrists
just like the blades once did;
replace those scars with wisps
of hope life once forbid
(c) nate k. 2014
for lucy.
 Oct 2017 Kirsten Waskewich
Quiet
each of these scars on my skin (paper)
tell stories and my fingers touch them to hold my memories
because i remember opening up and i hated telling anyone
how i felt
and what it was like to see my insides pour out
and that i still wanted to do it,
i still wanted to decorate my arms, thighs, stomach, hips, heart
with little pink red purple red lines
i remember when he grabbed my arm and i cringed and flinched and ****** air in through my teeth and my chapped lips
and you knew
through all that blue fabric you could see
my scars

r.c.
ew this was bad
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