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Katlyn Orthman Mar 2015
I find it ironic how most dystopian novels are about a utopia
A world created to be perfect because ours failed
A world full of control, uniformity, perfection, no reflection
No identity, no war, no lust, maybe lust. Maybe just lust.
Broken, failed, oh how this brave new world derailed
It's a mishap, a hit and a miss, a world full of "ignorance is bliss"
Hidden from the view,
Or maybe just hidden from you
Oh yes it's quite ironic how the perfect world is ours,
Which we find so imperfect as we stare up at the stars
And wish for a world that we could just be one
Because everyone belongs to everyone
Threw in some Brave New World references. Sorry if it's hard to understand I haven't slept in a while
  Feb 2015 Katlyn Orthman
Shivani Lalan
He had a habit of forgetting
That the knife should be
At his left,
Unlike others.
Every morning, she would
mechanically
switch the fork with the knife.


When they finished lunch
she started clearing up
and noticed the knife to his right
again.

That night,
after their routine drew to a close,
They talked.
Slowly, at first.
A touchy subject walks in.

It's time.

Even as the air is knocked from her lungs,
She gets up and scrabbles on the floor.
Nails scratching the carpet.
Eyes scanning the horizon, now black.
Her brain decides to get up,
Her body disobeys.

Her body disobeys.

Isn't that what put her here in the first place?
So what if she is pretty?
So what if her eyes are sparkling emeralds?
Her belly renders her defenceless
from his onslaught.
Isn't it her fault
that it is empty?
Isn't she wrong to want
independence from him?
Mentally, physically, emotionally?
He owned her, didn't he?

He owned her, didn't he.

He explained to her the benefits
of obeying.
Her pretty face wouldn't have been
all those ungainly shades of black.
Her eyes wouldn't have been encircled by blue.
All she had to do was obey
and not tell anyone
but obey.
Her brain rebelled.

Her brain rebelled.

Her body, for once, obeyed.
She stumbled through the hallway
She knocked down her favourite frame-
Their daughter on a pony.
Kitchen, her sanctuary.
She broke her favourite China.
Hurled her utensils.
"I arranged them last week, you *****."
And then she saw them.
The knives.

The knives.

They were inviting  
Her hands were pale, waiting.
His heart corrupt, hating.
*"Knives to your left, darling."
As a sociology student, I found domestic violence  intensely intriguing and wanted to experiment with the same.
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2015
Trembling beneath the weight of these words
These words that entice these broken bones
To sway to the memories reincarnating in my mind
This melody that brings these frozen tears to my eyes
So they hang by the thin threads
Crystallizing in my soul
Frost bitten by my breath

This song that brings me back to my youth
Brings me back into that careless mirage
Has me floating in my liquid dreams
Spiraling off every syllable

I crescendo with the feverish voice pouring into my ears
Cry with the beauty,
Cry for being homesick of those years
Where I was blissfully unaware
With these words heavy underneath my skin
Sometimes music affects me so deeply I feel it in my molecules, and all the emotions swimming in my need some kind of release. Found a song from my childhood that I loved, and needless to say I still love it very much. If you're curious it's called 'Welcome Me' by The Indigo Girls. Very beautiful song.
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2015
Click Clack
Click Clack
My throat is burning
My skin is dry; barely clinging to my bones
My eyes are glued shut by exhaustion
But I know I should open them
Click Clack
The rough surface of the floor beneath me
Scrapes my fragile skin
Help me
Click Clack
With the rest of the strength I harbor inside me
I open my eyes
Click Clack
A dim light looming above me, flickers as it swings side to side
The only source of light
The only source of hope
Click Clack
Time eludes me
There are no windows in my prison
Click Clack
No, there is only Time and Pain
My two closest friends
Click Clack
Exhaustion sweeps over my protesting body once again
And my eyes drape in defeat
My muscles sag their heads in despair
And my bones creak as they settle back into place
Click Clack
My mind flickers into a dream
Where I live vicariously through my inner self
Click Clack*
It's safer this way.
Some things never change
    


      The circular stains on the ceiling above my 
heart shaped bed didn't exist under that rule

  Sometimes they *seemed
constant
           And sometimes that made me feel ok
            
        But other times, as I lay in bed,
            Somewhere near the halfway point between laying down and falling asleep,
       I stared up at them and they moved
         Left and right
Ellipsing each other,
    Becoming ovaloid in shape

Sometimes they simply flitted away, vanished


    I thought them gone,
But they continued to return.

They would not be so remorseless as to leave and not look back to see the blank space they had left.

     So my little circular stains stayed for a while.

    I was happy looking up in wonder at something I could never understand but never dared question.

   Until one day I simply wasn't. My interest in the stains steadily faded until I began to drift off on my side staring out the window, searching for owls I could hear but not see. These sounds made me hope.

They made me open the windows I had locked tight.
They made me breathe.
    
    Those sounds lull me to sleep even now.

*And I've stopped looking for the circles completely
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2015
Life began somewhere
It was birthed by the endless universe
It's being an enigma unfathomable by the human mind
But the need inside me,
the burning passion twisting through my bones
suffocating my heart
Swelling in my soul
and intoxicating my blood
begs for the ability to reach out and grasp the understanding

I need to know where the beginning is
I just need to know
My human mind thirsting for the knowledge
Curiosity programmed inside me

It is nearly a physical pain
That I will never know the secrets of the Earth
The hushed whispers faintly brushing my ear drums
And dancing away before I can decipher them

Like a constant dance
we waltz beneath; or inside space?
On this ball of fire locked away by soil
Earth Bound

The need to know life beyond Earthly inhabitants
It's like it has consumed me
I no longer fear Death
I have come to terms with my old friend

In the end I will catch a glimpse of what waits
after my mortality has outlived the shell it sleeps in
Maybe I will be granted wings to fly
in spaces galaxies, endless as they are
Until I am to be reborn

Maybe Earth Bound
Maybe Space Bound
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