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Katlyn Orthman Jan 2015
It's as if I closed my eyes and time passed me by
I wish that I could rewind

I miss the feeling of being careless and free
But now I have responsibility shackling me

I miss the days that I could play without stress
But now my life is just a mess

I miss the world inside my imagination
But now it's become my damnation

Every thought is centered around what I need to get done
There is no vocabulary in my life to define "Fun"

And I am not alone, but I feel deserted
I keep calling out, but fear no one heard it

I feel like I am lost inside my mind
And I am searching but I can not find

The way out of this Hell I've been sentenced to
Life was easier before I grew

up.
I'll sing of all the ways I miss you
and how this sorrow came to be
the verses, lies I should have whispered
the chorus, truths in harmony.

The melody will break the silence
and call your broken heart to me
to be repaired by love unyielding
to broken hymns in minor key.
Depression lies and makes us push those we love most away, sometimes so far away that they can never return.
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2015
I wish I was  hollow inside
This pain might be easier to hide
But for now I'll ease my pain in music
The melody will drown my heart
It's fine because I don't want to use it
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2015
Rage is like an angry tidal wave
Roaring up the shore and destroying anything in it's wake
Rage is whats burning inside my heart right now
Rage is what has evoked these torturous traitorous tears
Life breaks people in half, and crumbles them on the floor
And for what? For what am I living for?
If this is the price I must bare
Tell me what is the reward I reap?
Afterlife is a joke
Darkness is all I'll know
But anything is better than this grievous hole
Gaping and festering in my heart
Anything is better than this pain
My sister miscarried the first child she's ever been pregnant with today. I can't explain how much it hurts or even understand her pain.
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2015
My heart is soiled, and filled by ghosts roaming
Traveling the blackened gouged out pathways
A horror t'was to see their mouths foaming
And watch their spectral broken bodies sway

T'was laughable to see me jump in fear
As the moans and groans of tortured souls cried
Their clear eyes become another worlds mirror
And whisper of my regressions I hide

Yet I know I only face my jury
They come hiding behind many dark masks
Locked away in this hell of pure fury
I  close my eyes and take in these cold facts

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
Hell hath no fury like a demon torn
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2015
Winter wraps its fingers
in my frozen heart
never ceasing

Giving my burning chest
frigid air that
keeps me breathing
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2015
The sun blazed down angrily that afternoon,
Sweat tracing a path down the backs of the hunched inmates
A moment of rest that felt so sweet but was over too soon
"Back to work!" spit spewing from between the guards thin lips

It had been 17 days since inmate 33421 had seen her face
The beauty with the dark strands of silk spilling down her back
And cerulean eyes that held such innocence
An innocence that had no business settling it's gaze on this brutish hell

But 17 days was an eternity here
And no doubt that pure soul was gone
No doubt the blood that seeped from overworked hands,
and the hunger that stained those empty mouths
and dressed their bodies in bones and sheets of flesh
and the anger and desperation that drove a person to the barest instincts,
had robbed that beauty of her innocence.

No, innocence would never last in a place like this.
Angels were not meant to live among demons
And that was what they had all become.

They who shut their bulging eyes in exhaustion
Slip away into a restless sleep
Fall asleep to the hopes of never opening their eyes again
Only to awaken in the morning to the soul clenching gut pains
and the agony that settled itself deep in their bones making a permanent home.

Others fell asleep hollow
And awoke the same way
Hollow with no dreams, or thoughts,
Only the mechanical need to do.

To keep on living
Although inside they're truly deceased
But the human brain is wired to live
To survive

Ah, no there was no way the beautiful soul 33421 had seen
Could still look upon the light of day and smile at the sun
Not when the sun cursed them as strongly as the men that stalked
back and forth behind the gates hated them.
Not while they all became the monsters
They were accused of being.
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