The hyenas cackled maniacally , gasping and choking and she lunges at them, jaws snapping, eyes glittering gold. Throats were torn and yet the laughing continued, wheezing and guttural, shakey with their final breathes. Life leaves them and she roars to her enemies; She was sunlight, she was stardust, she was the warrior queen.

Concept: i live in an undiscovered forest and I co-exist. The trees, the wind, and the animals love me. I never feel alone.

I see the world in bombshells.
I see the world in pastels
Dripping down the stairwell,
Feeling bittersweet.

I bargain for my time awake.
I bargain for the past mistake
Clogging up my mind’s intake,
Feeling obsolete.

My plans were lofty, my plans were grand.
But now I’m drowning in a sea of hands.

I **** my idols because I can.
I **** my idols to be a man
Shredding my hopes inside a fan,
Feeling incomplete.

I see the world in pastels, bleached and beautiful.

I pick apart your bones

just to see if there's any flesh left.

I'm looking for the last of your cologne.

I am looking through your clothes, trying to find one strand of your thread-bare hair.
(Was it ash blonde or ***** blonde? I swear it was more ashy.)

I don't know where I lost you, where I left you, maybe it was in the soft cradle of my bed as you waited for me to turn over the record.

I don't know. I don't know what the curves of the bird bones in your hands look like anymore, and I can say the same about the size of your eyes, watching me always.

But I can tell you I miss you, I miss your head resting on my shoulder. You're so much taller than me, and I can feel myself lowering what I had felt into the ground, and I swear, if you weren't so high, you would have noticed.

(Everyone I love falls asleep.)

the good nights
used to be tinged
with kisses
and a soft caress
against my back
sending shivers
down throughout my spine
but now you say good night
with silence and
unmoving touches
i'm not too sure
how i became so dull
and unlovable
and cast away
to the colder side
of this bed
it's 5am,
i'm wide awake
this ache kept me awake
as you slept
your arms were in the wrong place
they were supposed to be here, here
holding me and keeping
the slumber less thoughts away

there is no answer
    stop searching
         you won't find it

it will only
   make it easier
      to lose your mind

i don't want to hurt you
   there's nothing left to hide
      i've given you everything i have

if you stopped looking
   you might open your eyes
      and truly see for the first time

do not search anymore
   only listen to these words
      and feel their true meaning

i am pouring my heart out
   hoping that you'll understand
      my complicated vibes for you

so don't look
   pause and listen
      long enough to feel

i sit here clutching
pen and paper to my chest
with nothing to say