My life as of last has been and eye opening, head first dive of exploration interrupted by one, sometimes two day long binges of unpleasant sobriety.

Three long years after writing the first stanza,
The drugs still being explored
This has led me to a more beautiful understanding of myself and my few remaining friends
However it seems that I have taken a significant tumble down the socioeconomic ladder
At least my writing has gotten neater
No longer shaken by the withdrawal of a still desired drug

Alcohol has a way of calming and inspiring me
Bringing forth the thoughts I cannot make into sound
My few remaining friends cut down into a seemingly impossible smaller number
I now awake in the night with cold sweats that interrupt my slumber.

Dreams of panic and anxiety, Now clouded with past faces.
Personifications of things inside me
Faces made of thoughts and feelings, Taking over occupied spaces
Forcing out the beautiful and imaginative
Subconscious taking charge, So the conscious may live.

A real battle of Good and evil occurs anytime a game of chess is played.
Equal pieces, equal spaces.
Differing only in color for a purely aesthetic reason
Because battling forces that are aestheticly similar would be lost on the savagely competitive
So a simple white and brown is implemented
But a simple blink of the eyes can make you realize
Same pieces, same moves just mirrored,
One color does get to always go first, but this had to happen either way, and if you feel bad about going second, just think that you got more time to think about your move, and also to just call the white pieces first next time,  if that kind of a thing matters to you.

The chess pieces themselves have no ability to win the game, they are tools for you to use based on your strategy.
The same goes for good and evil
They have no solidified definitions

A good decision to you, could ruin another's life.
Like chess you must think deeply about your decisions and why you're making them.
If someone told you, the way to play chess was to always flick your piece in the direction you wanted it to go and just have faith it would go to the spot it needed.
Then I would hope you would be open minded to other strategies to find the one that works best for you.

People might argue that there are definitive good and evil decisions in life, but that could be based on the fact we are all humans and you would assume that one humans decision on something is made because it would be beneficial in some way to them, so it is possible to be beneficial to you too.
So similar things are desired by humans, but that doesn't mean they are definitive.
 
So just know and always study your chessboard of life so you're always playing to the best of your ability.
But also remember that chess does have rules, life does not.
So do your own thing
Chess just fit my earlier comparison of this or that and the freedom of choice that lies within.

I wake up in cold sweats more than I wake up
Dreams of flying and floating have turned to
Finding and fear
Bodies of new and friends forgotten
My skin may bear what once was there
But forget not I will, the friends of young thrill

You still haunt and frequent my dreams
Tearing apart my sanity at all of its seams
Happy and somber, I remember it all
Liquor brings it out most of all
But it also calms that calls

Whatever liquor makes seem true
I can question without fighting
Because liquor is my choice and the
Lack thereof makes others king

Cracks run deep and cracks run long
Damaging a wall, once thought strong
Weakened by words, squandered by force
Decisions made, followed by deep remorse

This damaged wall is a woman broken
Caused by fists and words unspoken
Flesh replaces plaster
This being, destroyed by her master
Herself
An unfit leader.

The cold bites bitterly at my face
Figures, the night I decide to go for a walk
This unseasonably warm winter turns to mace
Liquor warms but ultimately steals

The breath turns to ice on my face
The ice has a way of boiling my emotions
Bringing them to the surface
Until they're all out of space

The liquor causes flushing
Not only in the cheeks
But in the skin and in the the weeks
My skin tells more than I ever could

Time tries but can't tell all
Just like my cheeks the story comes from nothing
But it blossoms nicely
Into a beautiful rendition of the emotions within

I find myself walking the alone now
In the cold and the snow
Not the same routes, but the same destination
Younger years had brothers with me
Twilight walks of care free chaos,
Bonded and made us,  'we'

But women and death have stripped them from me.
I find myself walking alone
In the cold and the snow
Only now it's towards the warmth and laughter
The times of old,
Our memories so bold

I only hope that my future endeavours,
Bring about the same boldness,
The same type of  friendships,
I have such a problem attainting
So I'm no longer walking alone
In the cold and the snow