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 Apr 2018 aslan
jaden
in the mirror
 Apr 2018 aslan
jaden
she no longer wakes up in the morning
to look in the mirror and try to
convince herself and the world
that she's still a girl

they stopped waking up in the morning and looking in the mirror trying to convince . .
no prove that they're identity
isn't up for debate

he started waking up in the morning
to look at himself in the mirror to try to convince . .
no prove . .
no reassure himself that he is
exactly who he says

i wake up every morning and
I go to the mirror and try to convince . .
no prove . .
no reassure . .
no state that I am
a man and nobody can say otherwise
 Apr 2018 aslan
matthew
Coffee
 Apr 2018 aslan
matthew
She was like a cup of coffee.
A plain, black, cup of coffee.
She kept the world awake.

Her personality was warm,
But she had a bitter aftertaste.
 Apr 2018 aslan
matthew
A shout out to the transgender people,
to the strong women and men,
may you see yourselves as self-made heroes.

A shout out to the non-binaries,
to the gender less,
the in between,
may you take pride in who you are.

Happy Trans Visibility Day.
 Apr 2018 aslan
matthew
coming out
 Apr 2018 aslan
matthew
unspoken words,
years of silence

it is time
to spread my wings

to embrace;

i am transgender
 Apr 2018 aslan
matthew
the code red alarm rings
echoing in the halls
we drop to the floor
almost in unison
is this the end?

the teacher
the one who we trust
to protect us
is just another sheep
in this herd
of fear

nobody is safe
nor are we above
anyone else
we are equal

we are shaking
as we hug the ground
waiting

waiting
to be slain
waiting to be saved
but still
waiting

i am lucky to say
it was only a drill

but for those
across the country
they weren't that lucky

they were shot at
they were killed
they watched
their loved ones
die

we live in a country
where guns
matter more than
our kids

where an AR-15
can be purchased
by anyone

but when tragedy strikes
people act shocked
they send their prayers
their thoughts

**** that.

prayers and thoughts
don't do anything

they don't bring back
those we have lost
they don't take
the grief away from us

things won't change
until we start a riot
until we can really make a change

we are the home
of mass shootings

we need to change that
 Apr 2018 aslan
matthew
the fear of the future,
devours me
it eats me whole,
and shows me no mercy

I lie awake at night,
the moonlight softly showing
through my blinds,
and am stirred by the thought
of the future

when I come out to my family,
what will happen?

will they try to beat it out of me,
will they kick me to the curb,
or will they stand by my side,
waving a flag in pride?

what will the future hold?
 Apr 2018 aslan
matthew
this is my song of sorrows
where my heart weeps
and my body collapses
where i fall to the ground
and become one with the earth
where mother nature takes me in
and wraps her roots around me
making me feel safe and secure
but still my heart aches
 Apr 2018 aslan
matthew
untitled
 Apr 2018 aslan
matthew
i'm too tired to live,
but too stressed out to die.
 Apr 2018 aslan
matthew
forty-eight hours is a long time to wear a binder,
and my ribs are screaming for mercy,
for a break from the compression and lack of mobility.
but it's not that easy.

sometimes i'd rather face the pain,
than face the fact that i am female.
these weights on my chest,
drag me to the ground.
i break down.

i feel locked in my body,
and all i want to do is break free.
nobody should feel the need to shower in the dark,
because the reality of their body is too much for them.
it shouldn't be this way

and i know i shouldn't compare myself to people,
but i cannot stop thinking,
'what if i were cis'.
i think of how much easier everything would be.
i wouldn't have to worry over how long i've been wearing my binder,
or if i pass,

i wouldn't have to worry about turning eighteen,
knowing i will be homeless.
but instead, my mother would celebrate her baby,
becoming a "legal adult."

forty-eight hours wouldn't be a worrying statement,
just another frame of time,
it wouldn't reflect on my self-care routines,
or lack thereof

it'd just be forty-eight hours.

— The End —