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Oliver O'Connor Mar 2019
teardrops on my sleeve
begging to see you again
you've forgotten me
Oliver O'Connor Apr 2019
staring at the clouds
one of them looks just like you
grimace and unloved
Oliver O'Connor Nov 2019
Don't say you miss me when it's your fault I'm gone
Oliver O'Connor Mar 2019
I see, I see
What you don't see

Maybe you refuse
Or glance the other way
You break off your gaze
And dart in the other direction

I see, I see
How you stare at me

You don't want to, yet
You cannot help yourself
In classes, the hall,
As I'm at my locker

I see, I see
That you miss me

You want everything back
Everything right like before
All the kisses, the hugs,
The late night texts -

but

I see - you see,
It wasn't meant to be.
Oliver O'Connor Apr 2019
Roses are red,
Away from me he slid,
Scoffing, he told me,
"It's nothing personal, kid"
Oliver O'Connor Mar 2019
maybe if I didn't see you that summer day
maybe if I didn't hear your laugh
maybe if I didn't talk to you the first day we met
maybe if I didn't ask for your name
maybe if I didn't wish to be your friend
maybe if I didn't follow you around all summer
maybe if I didn't see you in the hallway so much
maybe if I didn't buy you things
maybe if I didn't get your friends to like me
maybe if I didn't see you stare at me when 'I wasn't looking'
maybe if I didn't kiss you in front of the courtyard
maybe if I didn't ask you out on my birthday for luck

maybe if I didn't let you in

maybe if I didn't hold your hand so tight
maybe if I didn't text you so late at night
maybe if I didn't talk so much
maybe if I didn't call so often when you were sad
maybe if I didn't spend so much money on our two-month gift
maybe if I didn't tell you so much
maybe if I didn't smoke so many cigarettes

then

maybe
just maybe

I would have been better off.
Oliver O'Connor Mar 2019
ow that you're gone
n
  very now and then I think of this
e
  ery question to ask: did you
v
  ver
e
  eally love me?
r

!
Oliver O'Connor Mar 2019
outside in the dark with a broken heart
you said you loved it when my blood shed,
said that **** was art
I'm thinking over how your eyes shined in the bright night sky
you said it's nothing - it's not scary -
but won't tell me why
you held my arm down in the bathroom, see it all pour out
said get to class, gave me a kiss
don't let them know about
the scars put on me or the bruises that have yet to heal
I won't say nothing, you'll still love me
that was now the deal
I'm on sidewalk high as ****, don't know my whereabouts
this LSD must keep my mind straight
now I'm crying out
you said it's nothing, just some stress you release with a fist
my jaws sits crooked, my heads dizzy,
there's blood on my wrist
she wore the smile on her face just like a loaded gun
said keep them blisters covered up
and don't tell anyone
from shaving razors and the needles you hide behind your back
I'm like a doll, just like a pin cushion
that's blue and black
you said you loved me but you'd trade me for a cigarette
now I'm just smoking all 19
the thunder makes 'em wet
outside in the street walking towards the cars
I'd rather die then watch you use me,
giving me more scars
Oliver O'Connor May 2019
Staring at my note
The proof is in your pen's ink
Please check "yes" or "no"
Oliver O'Connor Jun 2019
Stay away from the man in the mirror
You cannot keep going like this, dear
I know your fighting all your demented fears
But remember one day your thoughts will run clear
Oliver O'Connor Mar 2019
You came to me in the summer sun
Eyes filled to the brim with gold

Now you've abandoned me
Leaving my heart empty

Winter has never felt so cold.
Oliver O'Connor Sep 2019
Why should we be together?
I love you.
Why can't we be together?
You love him.
Oliver O'Connor Mar 2019
The screams of my insides
become shrilling,
The veins in my body scream to
see light,
I didn't know what they wanted
me to do,
So I listened,
Giving up on our fight.
Oliver O'Connor Apr 2019
I wish you could feel
     A slight pain in your heart
Every time I thought of you
     While falling asleep
So that you feel the pain
     Just as much as I have to
Because you're my only dream
     And I would have killed you
If you felt the heartache
     I have grown to live with
Oliver O'Connor Apr 2019
You always ask:
"If your friends wanted to jump off a bridge, would you?"
and I say no, of course...

But
secretly
I hope I'm asked to go first

and you do, too

— The End —