I didn't expect that
You didn't care
I was a fool
You left me bare
My love was strong
I've been holding on
Now I realized
It was so wrong.


Days came quick
Nights too long
We were holding back
Now your feeling's gone
As I remembered
Moments that passed
All that I can see
Love's fading fast.


As I waste my time
On this lonely space
My heart's breaking so
I can't make you stay
All I realized
As my tears roll down
Hearts that beat as one
Now a memory gone.


How do I do this now?
How do we stop the rain?
I am blurring my eyes
For still feeling such pain
I don't want to recall
But all those memories replay
But we both know it now
Love's not meant to stay.

Pungent heartbreak dews
Pouring, dropping, sinking down
Deep under my crust.

With the way you smile when you see me near,
the way you stare when I am here,
the way you feel my greatest fears,
the way you see my invisible tears.

The way you make me feel I'm wanted,
the way you understand my deep hatred,
the way you carry that smile of content,
the way you plan out your very intent.

The way you accept me at my own flaws,
the way you notice me on a sudden pause,
the way you laugh out when I go crazy,
the way you don't care if I am lazy.

The way you keep your silence at times,
the way you hide and present your lies,
the way you accept all hurt from me,
the way you let me just be me.

The way you comfort me in distress,
the way you care when I'm drowned in loneliness,
the way you caution me when I'm not alright,
the way you support me in my every fight.

The way you just know what I am feeling,
the way you speak for me when I'm not speaking,
the way you show that someone's behind me,
the way you come just when I needed somebody.

The way you light your own hopes up,
the way you continue and never stop,
the way you feel the pain alone,
the way you've waited, now it has grown.

Every moment has never been this significant
I never expected a feeling so instant,
You started it all, now I'm feeling alright
A dull, empty world, now a paradise so bright.

But love won't allow an overload in my heart
I'm clearing it up to make another start,
And I can't be so swift in diverting my emotions
I've known all these before, I know the cautions.

Time, that's all I have to be enough with
To offer a better and more enlightened lead,
If I am to push through or just be fair
Preserve the friendship or make a new affair?

I can't stand to witness myself wither
Frustrations caused by hearts so bitter,
Trust breaks so easily when badly stained
Hearts wound so deeply when unexpectedly pained.

In this new course, I see no certainty
I may be happy, or be hurt so unluckily,
But one thing I know, we cannot both feel
What our eyes speak if it's never real.

Chances are presented, though not that right
Waiting for the moment when I already need to fight,
For now, I can't give it a straighter view
But all I know now is it's just about me and you.

Why?
When every time we play with words
And add music to verses we don't sing
And give meanings by hiding reality
Behind the mask of our wondrous craft,
The time comes for us to be at last, at least,
Entirely understood
By people who are just as we are
Entirely misunderstood.

Nights had grown so lonely and dark
The days gone by with not a little spark,
From the day you were gone for another start
I knew that I’d be having a forever broken heart.

I cried like somebody so dear to me has died
But it was really the love that you set aside,
You were happy and I just had to fake a smile
At times I can’t help but weep for a while.

I then grew strong and tried to accept it all
I learned to stand again from a miserable fall,
You never knew how hard I try to be happy once more
From that awful moment I had to savor before.

But now that fate is trying to lead you back to me
I don’t know if I still have to believe what I see,
It hurt like hell; haven’t you realized such things?
Indeed, it’s easy for you to make new beginnings.

How insensitive of you to take things for granted
Refused to see the wounds you caused me when we parted,
I’m just so stupid that I can’t feel a bit of angst anymore
I can’t bring another fight just like what happened before.

I can’t deny, I still have the love I kept inside
I just can’t let it go no matter how I tried,
But I’m afraid I can’t bear to shed another tear
But please, if it’s real, help me with this fear.

I have loved you, and I still do; that’s the stupid reality
But I don’t know if your words are true or just a lie to me,
Nevertheless, whatever it may take, I can’t still say “No.”
To a love that I never intended, I never expected to grow.

I wish I could be the one
Who could take your sadness away,
The one who could light up your way
Just like every star in the sky.

I wish I could be the one
To wrap you with my deep love’s warmth,
To comfort you like every home’s hearth
And burn all your sorrow away.

I wish I could be the one
The one who could color your life again,
Who could make you happy every now and then
Like a rainbow every after the rain.


I wish I could be the one
The one to give you all the love you need,
So that the wounds in your heart won’t ever bleed
‘Cause I’m always ready to give it all to you.

I wish I could be the one
Whom you’ll see when everything in you goes wrong,
Hoping you’ll realize that I’ve always been here
Loving you for so long.

I took the goblet
I shut the door
Towards reality
Innocence adjourned
Poured the spirit
Of shame and wonder
Beneath the silk
Of black and gold
Sparks then glimmer
Secrets unfold
Witty chatter
Stupid folks
Left the kingdom
Of fake kings
Of fake queens
And true foes
Here’s the lioness
Tamed by such oil
Growls in roses
Screams in thorns
But joy awakened
The lioness’ soul
When all of a sudden
She does herself along
In playful rhythm
She dances the song
Of tedious melody
Of a’s and o’s
Who’d love to see
A crown of gold
When heaven’s a place
Nowhere near
The cape or shawl
Plunge into
Feel the highness
True royalty
Peak of happiness.

Soulful
Not a whine
Sad, though
Simple rhyme.
Standing
Held the mic
Burning
Space and time.
Strike up
Keep light
Open up
Bright eyes.
Loose notes
Dark hall
Still air
Tears fall.
Left alone
End song
Young man
Carry on.

Since the day I said it’s over
Some things went wrong in me,
Thoughts broke down from nothingness
I guess I will never be free.

Shall I do something about it?
When I don’t have the right to,
Indeed, our fate’s not in my hands
How will I be able to carry through?

My heart still can’t find itself
From the time I lost all control,
It’d been a rebel, ‘twas out of hand
Been cut and scarred and all.

I don’t know who I am now
I think I lost the real me,
When I was left all broken
I was drowned in toxicity.

My brain, it seems so drained
My vision’s blurred with emptiness,
Now I’m stuck in my own vanity
Failed to taste life’s happiness.

I see, it can never seem so real
Just as how it was carefully planned,
Life and fate succeeded in their deal
And now I don’t know where to stand.

Look in my eyes and see what’s flowing
Drops of fresh blood produced by pain,
It cannot stop, it just can’t bear
Taste of regret, a love in vain.

This is how my system works now
This world is my prison, my hands enchained,
No one would worry about such woebegone
I haven’t seen my tears; I wasn’t even pained.

Tell me, oh love, are you happy now?
Have you had enough of disdain?
Share it with me, I envy you so
‘Cause you only drive me insane.

My body freezes in bitter sweat
My heart finally grew icebound,
But my soul embarks an odd journey
Seems like it fails to touch my ground.

What has done to me I do not weep
Maybe I only deserve such,
But what I don’t understand very clearly
Guess I only loved too much.

Yes, I was stabbed in greatest delight
It was the best of the stories I can share,
And living in this cold, **** body
I guess I can no longer bear…

What could've been there, we don't seem to know.
Deep inside, I wanted to be all that your soul ever wanted.
But I know,
I knew even before,
that when the time comes that I need to know the truth,
it would be the most painful one.
That day came like a bitter storm on a sunny summer day.
Slowly,
it has torn
even
the thinnest
piece
of faith
I had
for myself.
It was nothing for a goner like me to taste such bittersweet kiss of reality.
It was all natural, so typical,
very fantastical, extremely tragical.
Surely, it wasn't me all along.
It wasn't me alone.
It was never me.
I know, there are things I thought I knew and understood well:
things I thought were real,
things I knew were just so fine.
I gave up on the idea of nothingness despite the vague feel.
I set it aside, knowing that there might have been, just hidden.
But, of course, everything was plain wrong;
it wasn't surprising, though!
Guess I just got the price for having hoped too much on things that seemed real.
Well, they seemed to be the greatest stuff I'd ever felt,
after a long while.
At least, it was.
It really was until I had to realize it wasn't.
Accept. Regret. Forget.
I tried to release the tension in my head.
I tried [so hard] to cover those tears up, until I'm all alone.
I tried to shake it off,
stroll around the city,
see some happy faces,
read a boring notebook,
or just hang in there and look for some pain again.
I tried, I swear, I tried until I finally grew tired.
Because in everything I had to do, I just have to think there was you,
who had been there all along to make me realize such dismal truth,
that once in my life, I met someone, thought he was the one,
but broke it all in just a while with his cold song.
And once again, I knew, I felt
I was falling in love
With someone,
*Alone.

There's so much a heart can hold,
but there's only so much it can take.

Our hearts, they're magnets,
we're both stuck at each other's warmth.
Our eyes speak louder,
as we see each other through and through.
Our lips, half-open,
expressing love in no disguise.
Our hands feel warmer,
when you grab mine, just squeeze it tighter.

Your smile, a remedy,
They make things right, so fine and tender.
Your words, comforting,
I know you're not gon' make me feel lonely.
Your voice, my weakness,
It sounds so deep, but still so ****.
Your laugh, my happiness,
I got the right one by my side.

You're being the man I want the most,
Your touch, your glances, the lust in your words,
My weakest point, your strength and passion,
Letting you in was my own decision.

I lay you my trust, make me feel no doubt,
I'd be giving out a love that'd tell you what it's all about,
Stuck in love at each other's stare,
There's no other feeling that I can compare,

Give me a love that's true and purest
I'll give you a kind like it's my very first time,
Show me your soul, your mind, your deepest
And let me tell you that you're mine.

You know my secrets, my shivers, my wishes
But you don't know you're one of them,
You are my all, my sparks, my sunshine,
You are a treasure, my dearest valentine.

A sign of desperation
Of envy, of misery, of dejection
Of hopeless yearning for nothing lifelong,
As almost everyone can barely notice.

Worldly desires, oh futility!
Images of true vainglory
Captives of fake reality
Stuck in their reverie
Of exaltation and flattery
Fishing for praises so badly
Insensitively, so unrelentingly
Without a thought or two.

What do you hear? What do you see?

These people sound so thirsty
Of approval and regard and dignity
Capricious predisposition, tomfoolery!

Looking for love and delight
For honor and respect and might
For grandeur and luxury
For anything but worthless beauty,
For a way not to be left behind or aside.
What a surrealistic find!

Amuse me; let the world drool for thee,
But like a century-long malady,
Such an absolutely incurable affliction
It is nothing but merely, purely,
Just as trivial as this poetic entry,
**Vanity.

I used to believe that winning is the best thing in life,
that true success comes from the best efforts,
that this life is just one huge competition,
that it’s all about you and your ego,
that losing is one of the worst
things that may happen
to one who aims
success.
But now,
I just realized
that in order to achieve
whatever it is that we want,
we must know how it feels like to
break or bend, to be rated or be spent
and still manage to smile and lift our heads,
and learn that just when we thought we had died,
we’ll realize that we were only trying to know we’re alive.

I don't know how to
touch your heart
or create an art
bring you the sun
or spill some fun
stop the rain
or heal your pain
but I know
someday
we'll know.

I don't know how to
kiss you so sweet
or sweep you off your feet
crawl up to bed
or make me stay in your head
touch you with passion
or ****** with an action
but I bet
together
we're off and set.

I don't know how to
to bring the perfect words
into a perfect poetry
or heal your deepest wounds
with my sweetest melody
an excitement for a night
with subtle sensitivity
but what is only known
to someone like me
I will always be waiting
til the sun meets the sea.

Stay up late,

can he do something about it--
when your tears roll like a stream on your weary surface?
If there is some sense in holding on to such feeling,
would it be much fairer to watch yourself still living?

Love can be lovely; love can be fine
But love is not love when it lets you just die.
Hearts deserve better than longing for a love
that never lasts a day without making you cry hard.

You think you're all alone; they're cautious of your smile.
You get a piece of hell that burns worse than any fire
but what else could cut deeper
than such pathetic desire?
Have you done something wrong?
Have you done things so right?
You can't think straight now; hope's just out of sight.

Was there some 'he' to make you feel alright?
Was there that touch that made each spark bright?
Was there anything else there that'd make you feel
that falling in love now could finally be right?

Pain was quick; hitting us through and through.
Recovery, so elusive; we end up without a clue.
How do we stop the cycle of breaking innocent hearts?

Can we, for once, be wrong for what feels so right?
Can I be wrong with you even when things won't ever be right?

What did I tell myself?
What did I make myself believe?
I guess it's nothing but a lie
I guess it's just the reason that I die.

Where did this lead me to?
Why do reasons just come and go?
I never opened a door for fright
I might just hurt the one who tries.

Was it a nice beginning I tend to cut?
Well, now a bitter ending never meant to last
Indeed, a lesson I refuse to learn
I built my walls out of a raging storm.

Beauty lies behind what we can’t see
Hope hides above those heavy mass of clouds,
Sometimes we forget that love is still free
And fear is just all that enshrouds.

We cannot stay in such a bitter state
Happiness is anywhere to be found,
Truly we cannot predict one’s fate
But we cannot bar what is bound.

Let the light search purposely for your soul
Let the stars enkindle your eyes,
Let the gentle dove carry you whole
Let love pull you as it flies.

We deserve the best and nothing less
If we let it in our hearts,
Listen to what it faithfully confesses
This is where new life starts.

Broken hearts and stained trust
Seem to cover what is there beyond,
Yet we have to believe that life’s still just
Learn to accept a brand new bond.

If it is to stay, it will without doubt
But if not, it is not to be despaired of,
Just cherish the moment and try to make out
It’s something we all need enough.

When I see you smile
It makes everything worthwhile
Just as the stars all shine aglow
And cast a light as the rivers flow.

You looked at me, a joy was felt
In your stare, I would like to melt
Your fair countenance gave me hope
That life still has an upward *****.

The bells ring, the flowers bloom
Your presence swept away my gloom
Those butterflies, they’re supposed to fly
But here in me is where they lie.

I need to know if I should still
Give importance to what I feel
If this is more than what I think it is
Then let it give me an infinite bliss.

When the days grow old
And the nights grow cold
I’d be just fine in a while
If only I’d see your beautiful smile.