Peaches and cream,
That’s what you are to me
Flowers in a stream.
Red and gold sunsets
Just like in a dream.
Cotton candy days
That’s what I have with you
A honey scented haze.
Two people matched in
Ever after ways.

It sometimes seems we
Are floating on a cloud.
It makes someone like me
Want to shout out loud.
I am so lucky,
It makes me want to sing.
I am that wealthy
That I have everything.

Peaches and cream,
It’s like a fairy tale
Just the way it seems.
But I won’t wake up
As this is not a dream.
This is a moment
Like I once wished upon.
A busted wishbone
And all my sadness gone.

Walking in circles
In my lonely room,
Talking to shadows
As if they were blooms
And blossoms of love;
Old friends and lovers
Cousins and brothers.

Running in circles
Through my many pasts;
Forgotten or misbegotten
Some fleeting some lasted.
Replaying old movies
That played inside my head
Of people and places
And things that were said.

Walking in circles
Through the phases of life.
Trying not to remember
Times that cut like a knife,
Trying instead to rewrite
My history to come out right
Where nobody was unhappy
And there were no fights.

Stumbling in circles
As my body was getting old,
Too hot in summer
And, in winter, always cold.
But still I remember
My wonderful cast of stars
That have come and gone
Through my life thus far.

This love
Big love
     sweet, salty
          kissing, sweaty skin love
          licking the lengths,
              and slow,
                   to savor love
     heat builds, slick
          fingers, lips thick
               wanting, wanting,
                     wanting this love.

This love
Big love
      hot, deep
          electric, passing love
                 fingers to chests
                      tongue to tongue
                            hips to hips
     building in a moment, love
           this bliss.
                   this love...

Oh Darling, there are two sides to me.
There's the side that is strong, soft, courteous and loving,
And another side that I never want you to see.

It's not distinguished by internal and external.
It's not a split personality.
Inside, there are two voices,
Arguing, daily.

For description's sake, I'll name them both.
I'll call the side that you know, Bright.
And the side you don't, Dark.
You'll understand the name choice with a little more insight.

Inside me they're in constant battle.
They hijack my every thought.
They agree on most things, usually.
But, on this, they're caught.

Bright is the one to sit back,
And smile no matter how much she's in pain.
While Dark stands up and speaks out.
Most of what she does is all in vain.

Bright feels tears swell up, and a lump form in her throat.
Her hands begin to tremble, and she can feel her heart ache.
While Dark is gulping angrily, and is clenching her fists.
She is embarrassed of her weakness. She refuses to let her heart break.

Dark is considering her options.
She analyzes all she knows.
While Bright is putting on a brave face.
But her pain is so strong, it shows.

You wrap your arm around me,
And Dark starts to go off in a rant.
She says; “Bright, come on, you know better!”
Bright shakes her head and says; “I can't.”

Dark is so infuriated, she begins to tear herself apart.
She is reckless. She doesn't think. She just goes straight for her heart.

Bright tries to calm Dark with soothing words of care.
But it proves difficult to find any, when there aren't any there.

Dark lets out an evil laughter that bounces round inside.
Bright becomes so afraid she searches for a safe place to hide.

Your fingers drum gently on my rib cage,
And your image fills up my mind.
Bright steps out into the open,
With this incredible, golden find.

She says; “Dark he loves me. He's the one for me in life.”
Dark does not interrupt Bright, but instead just shakes her head.
“You're a foolish girl, Bright. Do you know that?”
From Bright, not another word is said.

“Bright, what has happened to you?
Can you not see him in that state?
How low have you let yourself fallen,
To allow yourself to love the thing you hate?”

No response comes from Bright now,
Dark can see she has become numb.
Nevertheless, she continues talking.
As your fingers continue to beat me like a drum.

The tensions swiftly rising as Dark continues on.
She tells Bright of all her stupid wishes, wants and dreams,
And how she has given up on all of them.
Dark is right, it seems.

The tears in Bright's eyes glisten,
And her heart is slowly beginning to drop.
She's become so numb inside now,
She can't even tell Dark to stop.

Just as I begin to say my own little piece,
Another voice cuts in with something better to say.
Dark shakes her head again and says;
“Come on, Bright, give me one good reason to stay?”

Bright just stands there looking helpless.
Tears begin to throb beneath her skin.
Dark feels no mercy.
To her, this is a win.

Dark takes full control of me.
As Bright has no choice but to step back.
Dark is stronger than Bright,
Fuelled by emotions Bright does lack.

The vision that was once distorted,
By the tears Bright brought to my eyes,
Is cleared up in an instant,
As Dark happily says her goodbyes.

Goodbye to your beautiful face,
And your wonderful mind and heart.
Goodbye to your open arms,
That have held me up since the start.

Goodbye to your great smile,
That special one, just for me.
Goodbye to all our memories,
And to the future we'll never see.

Bright takes her position beside Dark,
To join in with the farewell.
She decided she can no longer fight Dark.
But this is something she doesn't tell.

As I take a final look around me,
I think about the past year.
I think of all the things I could have done,
And all the places I could have been instead of here.

Regret dominates me.
Even Bright can feel it now.
Dark urges me to leave as quick as I can.
But I'm still trying to figure out how.

What excuse could I possibly make up?
And where on Earth am I going to go?
What are they all going to think of me?
My heart's beating so fast, I fear it may blow.

You look concerned as you ask me if I'm okay.
I smile and say; “Yeh, of course I am” in my best disguise.
Dark knows you're content with my answer.
But Bright hopes you can see the truth within my eyes.

You continue your jolly conversation,
With everyone else around us.
Bright can see who you truly are now,
And she doesn't make a fuss.

You whisper a soft 'I love you.'
And Bright stays silent as I say it too.
She dreams of an alternative world,
Where the words you've said are true.

Bright's heart shatters like a glass,
As I finally build up the courage to go.
But just as I'm beginning to take to my feet,
Inside, Dark is screaming; “No!”

People walk past and come around
So you think I’d never be lonely
But I’m stuck behind this glass

It’s easy to seem like its okay inside
You’d think it was obvious
From the other side

Now I’m painting these invisible walls
With the pain inside
Hoping things will change
If they can’t see inside

But I’m paralyzed, not by fear
Or anger
Or my rattled mind

Indifference has crept in
But people still don’t see
It haunting me
Through these glass halls

And I’m trying my best
But the paint
Just isn’t sticking

Now these glass walls
They’re just spattered messes
And invisible dead ends

And they see transparency
But I’m trapped
Behind these glass walls

Subject

Shortly after our
first date I joked
Don’t make me write a poem about you.

It’s been a year and I laugh
because my poems
have become your home.

It’s been a year and
you’re kissing
someone else and
I’m just kissing people
who aren’t you.

Waking up next to you
for the last time
we knew it was and
we had to tell each other
not to cry so we could
kiss for the last time

When we broke
you said to me
I don’t want to be the subject of one of your poems.

But I warned you.

I was young, gullible, naive
When you promised forever,
I believed you with everything

I fell ******* a flat surface
You said you'd fallen,
But you had a safety net

Now, I'm broken and alone
And you're perfectly fine
And hate who I am

The blurred lines in my mind
have my thoughts playing on rewind,
like an old school mixtape
it took me forever to find
and all the songs play on shuffle,
each one a memory from a different day,
remembering the hussle
and all the things I couldn't say,
but I got every little part
of every tune
memorized to heart
and when I play them on repeat
from the start
I get lost in the tracks, fumbling,
checking out this road map
with no streets,
just valleys and hills
and when the beat gets faster,
I can feel the thrill