we started talking at 14 and 15
texting back and forth
exploring our feelings for each
other staying up late nights on
the phone getting to know each other

we fell in love at 16 and 17
still exploring that side of each other,
the one that liked girls
you were unsure but
you knew you had feelings for me
i liked you more than anything

we grew apart at 17 and 18
not talking as much
barely speaking to one another
you had a boyfriend at the time
and I still had feelings for you

we reconnected at 18 and 19
rekindled our feelings for one another
because deep down we both knew
we’ll always have feelings for each other
we even made a pact that
if we’re both single in 5 years
that we’d be together
and im hoping that becomes reality

her tears form words
and her cries form
poetry

i know i can’t have you
that’s why i console my heart 
with my own mental scenarios
sometimes we cuddle
the bed soft and comfy 
you wrap me in your sweet embrace
and kiss me tenderly


your lips are soft

i can feel your breath

steady, warm, calm
it awakens my senses
my body
 shivers crawls
down my spine
 it felt so real 


except, sadly it wasn’t the reality 
i suffer for you are not mine
let me hope
let me wish
let me imagine you were mine

going back to
the person who
made your life
toxic is like
re-watching your favorite movie
in hope of a different
ending each time

does that kind of love exist anymore? that kind where two people and their souls become one, that kind where you don’t have eyes for anyone else, eyes that don’t wonder, where the connection and love is so strong that an eternity together isn’t enough to express the feelings you have for someone so perfect, i crave that kind of love