We were one, we were a team
Now you're gone, never to be seen
I see you every night in my dreams
I'm empty now, but you're happy, it seems.

I thought that I did everything right
Until I saw your message that night
Am I wrong or am I right?
Should I have put up more of a fight?

After all this time and now it's over
So hard to deal with all this when you're sober
Maybe I should go sit in the rain
With a pill and some ***** to numb my pain.

Don't want to talk, I just need time
To realise that you're no longer mine
Have to figure out what I do next
The next girl I find will just be for ***.

I feel emotional and physical strain
Losing myself, I'm going insane
See your face and I know that I'm dreaming
Wake in the night, can't breathe and I'm screaming.

If it's not my stomach, then it's my head
3am heart racing, that feeling of dread
Lately I just don't feel like me
Vision all cloudy, just wish I could see.

Each day I try so hard to pretend
My whole body feels broken, just wish it would mend
Right now it's difficult for me to carry on
I'm trying not to break, I'm trying to be strong.

Standing here shaking, on the grass
whispering to myself, 'this too shall pass'
Earphones in, drowning out the voices
that are in my head, along with other noises.

What I need is to forget about you
To change my scenery, to change my view

I can't give in to this depressing mood
I need meditation and solitude.

I'd rather drown a hundred times than let my heart go free
Because I can't hear your horrid voice at the bottom of the sea
And you've ruined every chance of love
So I pulled when I was supposed to shove

You don't know how it feels to love so blindly
All trust enveloped into another soul
Only to have them crush your hopes and dreams with one fatal blow  
Breaking down, slowly
I decay with the rest
A dusty box of your old shirts
I could barely bring myself to collect
But I'm the one crying myself dry
I'm the one fighting to keep myself alive
I didn't sleep, I couldn't eat,
Not a single soul could help me.
I can't trust others
I barely trust myself
So at the end of the day
It's me, myself, and nobody else.

Thank you, ex-lover
For teaching me my true worth.
For showing that you cannot love
Based on a smile.
And thank you, *******
For teaching me to stick up for myself.
Because if it wasn't for your insults
I'd be defenseless.
Thank you, ex-lover
For cheating on me.
By doing so, you gave me a chance
To leave.
Thank you, ex-lover
For ruining me.
Because falling to the bottom only
Made me climb higher than I was.
And finally, ex-lover
Thank you for being so cruel
Now I know certain traits
To keep an eye out for and to avoid.

You’re being replaced with other attention now.
I’m finally talking with other women.
I realize now that you were a huge section of my time at one point.
That’s what made us a couple.
It’s when I left the country and our talking faded into small chats
And then arguments, stress, conflict.

I’m jaded by our divorce.
It makes me have little hope of another marriage.
It even makes me not want to spend time on trying to make another one.

But I might only be kidding
Since I’m really just waiting for my new friend to message me back.
New relationships have so little webbing it’s hard to tell if they exist.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I'm sorry you had to go.
It wasn't fair, but I understand.
Your happiness was just as important to me
as my own.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I hope you're doing well.
Never will I wish ill upon you,
no matter how much I wish I hate you.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I'm crying on the floor.
My sadness is a black hole trying to **** me into myself.
I miss you.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I'm wearing the make up that you hated.
*******.
I do what I want.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
You gave me hope that you would come back for me.
Don't.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I realized that I never needed you to love me.
I realized that I was right here to do it for you.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I look back fondly on our time together.
I will always love you.
But you left, and please never look back.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
One day you'll find a girl better than me.
I hope she makes you happy.

my love
thy hair is one kingdom
  the king whereof is darkness
thy forehead is a flight of flowers

thy head is a quick forest
  filled with sleeping birds
thy ******* are swarms of white bees
  upon the bough of thy body
thy body to me is April
in whose armpits is the approach of spring

thy thighs are white horses yoked to a chariot
  of kings
they are the striking of a good minstrel
between them is always a pleasant song

my love
thy head is a casket
  of the cool jewel of thy mind
the hair of thy head is one warrior
  innocent of defeat
thy hair upon thy shoulders is an army
  with victory and with trumpets

thy legs are the trees of dreaming
whose fruit is the very eatage of forgetfulness

thy lips are satraps in scarlet
  in whose kiss is the combinings of kings
thy wrists
are holy
  which are the keepers of the keys of thy blood
thy feet upon thy ankles are flowers in vases
  of silver

in thy beauty is the dilemma of flutes

  thy eyes are the betrayal
of bells comprehended through incense

Humanity i love you
because you would rather black the boots of
success than enquire whose soul dangles from his
watch-chain which would be embarrassing for both

parties and because you
unflinchingly applaud all
songs containing the words country home and
mother when sung at the old howard

Humanity i love you because
when you’re hard up you pawn your
intelligence to buy a drink and when
you’re flush pride keeps

you from the pawn shop and
because you are continually committing
nuisances but more
especially in your own house

Humanity i love you because you
are perpetually putting the secret of
life in your pants and forgetting
it’s there and sitting down

on it
and because you are
forever making poems in the lap
of death Humanity

i hate you

I miss you
And you aren’t even gone yet
From experience
I know how this will end

One day you will find someone new
Meet someone funnier; prettier
You’ll slowly slip away
All while denying anything is wrong

When you look into her eyes
You will see a future
When you look in my eyes
You see lust and desire

There is no future for us here
so why do I let myself fall in love anyway?

now when I think of love I want to puke,
the thought literally makes me sick to my stomach because I know now what it does to a person

how you lose yourself in someone else and then all of sudden you can't breathe anymore without them

I am promising myself to never be that stretched again,
to give myself a try for once, relying only on my intuition and will to power through life and relationships, never getting too blind to see things as they really are

I wanna know what it's like to be so good alone that the earth shatters when I take a step,
electricity radiates from my skin and my soul is so loud it shouts through my eyes