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  Dec 2019 kain
Kairee F
There is a heaviness in my shoulders
when I pull into the complex,
a seeking sense I can’t seem to shake.
I park but don’t move;
There must be something inside a note
or lyric
that has some answer,
but it falls short,
just like every night that preceded this one.
I turn off the ignition to hear a silence
that screams too loudly.
I journey to the door,
and the passing of my feet across the threshold
is my emotional “off” switch.

For now
it is out of my hands.
  Dec 2019 kain
Ellie Grace
A child is not meant to outlive both their parents
by the age of 21
A child is not meant to grow up
with no family at all
I still grieve for two people i never got the chance to meet
kain Dec 2019
I'm just a mistake
Don't belong to anyone
Broken
Misspoken
I wasn't supposed to be born at all
Writing this in the gym
Where I thought about slitting my wrists
It takes a while to realize
That while everything else changed
I did not
I'm the same thing
That wasn't supposed to survive

I can feel their eyes on me
But I don't see them anymore
I don't see anything
Space out frequently
I won't remember this in the morning
There's no point of living, I think
But it doesn't matter what I think

It's cold outside
And it smells like the sea
What if this what it
I died in a car crash
Rose up into the air
Swept away
By the salt in the breeze
I'd never be sad
But I'd never be happy
  Dec 2019 kain
Lauramihaela
Writing has always been a fickle friend to me;
Sometimes the only thing standing between me and a masterpiece
Is the mood to write.
kain Dec 2019
Will you be my shelter
Will you hold me
During the scariest parts
Of these bad horror movies
Will you let me cry into your chest
Soaking your tee shirt
Staining it with sorrow
Leaving you with a permanent reminder of me
Will you laugh at me
When I do stupid things
Will you let me hug you
Until I feel less numb
Until my mind can feel again
And I start crying again
As the cycle begins

I don't have much to give
But I won't leave you
As long as you hold me
Love you I will
kain Dec 2019
I want to be in your arms
You are warmth and safety
To bury my face in your neck
Breathe in your scent
Is heaven for me
It's a blissful kind of misery
But I'm safe with you
I know what to expect

I need to be with you
Press my lips against your cheek
Your nose, your eyelids
Curl up inside you
Let your arms engulf me
I want to fall asleep on your chest
Drift through dreams of you and me
Live alone in your oasis
kain Dec 2019
Someday, I won't remember this
Sitting in a bedroom
With only the Christmas lights on
On a half-baked winter solstice
In week old sweatpants
Faded hair and muscles sore
My vision blurring
Pixelating
Focused only on the screen
I won't remember this
No one will
"Darling // Darling // What if you woke up too?" - Wooden Floorboards by Hotel Books.
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