The voices are killing me.
pleasant, but
they're incessant

They tell me He's
changed His walk,
the way He talks...

I tell myself I do not care
but I listen intently
filling my soul

       with despair.

I want to smile
At people
In a way
That they have never been smiled at
Before

In a way
That makes them feel as if
They're the only ones
I see among the sea of faces
Around them

In a way
That makes them feel as if
I'm the first one to truly
Stop and express
Raw and genuine attention
To another

In a way
That makes them feel as if
I truly notice them amongst this world
That is torn at moving
At high speeds
Instead of getting lost with
What's right in front of it
Because it's all a blur as they speed by it

In a way
That makes them feel
Important
Worthy
Loved
Noticed
Because sometimes
People don't feel that way
And if I can break out a smile
That expresses all of those emotions
To that one person
In a matter of a few short seconds
Then I'd constantly look for those
That look like anything but

He loves me, he loves me not
We're meant to be, or so I thought
My heart is broken, the pain is real
I long for peace, from all I feel

I fake a smile, so no one knows
I mimic strength, lest weakness shows
I refuse surrender, I stand and fight
I must succeed, and so I write

The ink it flows, pours from my pen
It heals my heart, and I can breathe again

Minutes into hours, hours into days
The love I held so tightly, starts to fade away
The pain begins to lessen, the tears no longer fall
Seemed misery was forever but it's not that way at all

Those nights you haunt my dreams
Are now few and far between
When memories overtake me, I know I'll be alright
I know now what to do....and so I write

The ink it flows, pours from my pen
It heals my heart and I can breathe again
Yes, I can breathe again.

Oh God,
If you are really there
Drive me away from others' sin
and fill me with your magic
within
Engulf me in your loving arms
Bless me for I deserve your
charm
Oh God, Please grasp these hands
and enlighten me on why
all the blame hefts on me,
always making me cry.

i don't know if it's just me,
but there is a comfort in sadness.
like the embrace of an old friend
it feels, like home.