The night rolled in
like a tired truck driver.
It was getting cold
but he didn’t care.
He chuckled, “bring on the snow.”
As his tires started to spin again.

Time to crush the clock.
Time for his last stop,
hit the delivery spot.
Then the trailer drops
and he drops off
at the nearest truck-stop.
His engine was running ,
heater hot,
Until, midnight hits
and his heater stops.

Sleeping sound
and dreaming of
a long ago war,
a little girl,
and two sisters more,
the sound of a piano,
dozing off in Sunday service.
Then not going to church anymore.
Then his dreams turn
Aleutian island cold.

Less than twenty four hours later
the engines slows to
a dead stop.
The manager of the rest stop
hits knock, knock, knock.
The door is locked,
so he phones the trucker’s boss.

Opens the cab
and finds his frigid form.
A body that didn’t weather this storm.
It really was his last truck stop.

I love the sound of laughter.
It is the sound of despairs defeat;
Enemy now fallen to the side with no ill will.
Chuckles Bounce back and forth volley per volley
Set match and serve has made you smile.
There is less stress in the sound of laughter.
Tensions easing out of our bouncing bodies.
Spirit safely restored with a strong sense of pride and dignity.
Even if it cost me mine,
As I take a tumble or make a frantically funny face,
Laughter is endearing knowing by hearing that here there is just for a second a little less hate.
Laughter can mark each moment with new lessons learned,
Or simply take away a tid bit of pain.
I love the sound of laughter cause when it’s good,
It echoes from stranger to stranger to stranger ,
In danger of engulfing the entire room.
It is ironic, it is unexpected, and it is easier than an ******.
Give me laughter or give me death.
Preferably laughter, please.

Life is no place for fools like me
Because there are no other fools like me
Cloudy nights wearing purple and grey cumulous
Softly comforting in their silent beauty
Puffy explosions of midnight joy
Quiet ponds reflecting the quiet night
There is safety in the solitude
Wonder in the shifting clouds
I choose this over the hustling daytime
I love this over the breakneck bar scene
Dimly lit lamplights breaking through the dark sky
Giving me just enough glow to read by
And when the evening gives up its sounds
The singing crickets and other chirping things
It’s like a beautiful painting, breathtaking
I choose this over the mangled masses
The mauling throng of throbbing crowds
Rushing and rushing pushing and shoving
Just to get to the next spot
A competition for the best jobs
Keep what you can and leave me the night
I am not a competitor in your gladiatorial bouts
Leave me the silence and I will take it as a gift
Leave me the night and see how my spirit is uplifted

I leave them behind, staring straight ahead despite their pleas. The starry night beckons me. It promises to set me free, so I leave. Cries of anguish echo in the nether realms, part past part hell, where the darkness instills itself.
Nighttime brings terrible dreams, but daylight is where true nightmares come from. My boots disturb the grey cement kicking up clouds of dust. Smoke obscures the empty spaces where ****** faces once laid. Scarred flesh painted red with life’s fluid.  Blood oozes and drips down the now cooling skin, then flows forming a small red river with tiny tributaries. All this is captured in a greyscale distortion.
I missed the moments of violent percussions. The sounds of man-made thunder crashing and smashing everything in sight. I was only here for the aftermath. Still, that is enough. Dark blue body bags hold the terror of two twins decimated. Gaping wounds appear as if something had been chewing itself free from their stomachs. Normal skin rolls into mangled and exposed muscle then becomes bone. What a sick alchemy of flesh.
Their faces follow the same empty stare. They almost look alive. Eyes open in accusation, pointing in a parallel direction. I can feel the full force of their claims as they silently scream “Why.”
I cry, but my tears come just upon the edge of numbness.  Anger, and sorrow so extreme that my mind cannot handle it. I disappear, pretending that these are merely photos. I immerse myself in the delusion that this is a thing of the past. I am not here. They are not there. With a digital click, the camera becomes my emotional filter.
I stumble, a step away from losing what is left of my sanity, then cross the threshold in reverse, till I am outside. A small woman cradles something in her arms. It is a charcoal baby doll. Tears streaming the woman screams, holding that incinerated thing, but it’s just a doll. Black flakes fall, baby doll’s clothing turns to dust. I cough it in and out choking on the musk. I am grateful that it is just a broken doll.
I feel fear bringing me to edge of insanity. Her screaming seems strange. Her eyes look deranged. The doll’s legs have little calcium protrusions. Do burnt bones blacken? It’s just a doll. Scorched porcelain doesn’t look like skin, but it’s just a doll. Please let it be just a doll.
I pull myself from the situation. Detach what is left of my impartiality from my sanity. This is just a picture. This is just a job. Auto pilot takes over as I keep clicking photos, leaving any sense of self in the past.

Let my vision fail
Let my teeth fall out
Let my skin wrinkle
Let it get harder to ******
Get harder to sleep
Get harder to keep
All of my memories
Let life wage war against my heart
With all the fury it has to offer
I may falter but
As long as I have lived a full life
Then it is alright
And only I get to decide
What a full life
Looks like

I would let loving her here be my liberty
Silver eyes scanning the skies
Learning natures lives
And destroying manmade lies

I would let her fingers
Be like rainwater
Against an overheated flesh
Cleansing me of my desirous energy

I would let her soft lips
Conquer my soul
Ravish my heart
Till my desire explodes
And she may know
What lies beyond
The ******

I would let her speak
Whispering my better nature
Back from the brink of despair
Back into the light
From the night of depression’s era
See her voice inspire
The higher nature of my mind

I would let her do as she pleases
Break me beneath her fury
Or love me
Touch or denounce me
Ride or dethrone me
Such a heavenly mistress
Taken or given
Hers to dismiss

To let her do anything
Would be folly
I have no such power
I am hers to command
Upon any whim
To touch with or without lust
Be found or lost again
Lovers or friends
I am hers

The fire starts quietly enough
Burning from some old underbrush
Catching some old dry wood
I sit there watching thinking to myself good
The dry wood crackles
Sounding almost like a madman’s cackle
And the flame begin
To ascend
Even quicker
Engulfing the house in even thicker
Clouds of noxious smoke
The wind blows my way and I choke
Even so I laugh inside
Giddy with excitement
I watch my childhood home fall
And never once think to call
Anyone for help at all
I just sit back with a smile
Enjoying the scene
Thinking all the while
This is such a scream
Deep inside I yearn
To stop it all
But instead I let it burn
And watch it fall

Farmer’s Daughter
Her withered face
Not aged with grace
But balding scalp
Liver spots
Missing teeth
Like missing thoughts
White wrinkled flesh
Disappearing
Tiny goblin form
Hidden beneath the sheets

No more hunger
Only suffering
It’s no slumber
For in slumber
We find dreams
Rich with the complexities
Of our many identities
Mirrored masks of agony
Pure flights of unconnected fantasy
Inconsistent

But it’s persistent
Life interrupted
And never continued
The only ease
Is its release
From consciousness
Pain, Joy, pleasure
Apathy, anguish
Epiphanies

Dead siblings
Dead husband
Fading memories
With all their grief
Let them go
Let it go
Let it all slip away

They say lay down
let it go,
watch your
tumor grow.
Till, it splits
like a tomato.
Till, its juices
wet the ground.
Seeds and skin
soil the earth,
moistening
the dirt.
It hurts
but living
is so much worse.

They say let go,
but your heart
still drums.
Your breathes
still come,
some harder,
others skipped,
sometimes steady,
other times jagged.
White hair thinning,
I am beginning
to see me in you.

They say go
way down into
the ground.
You will not
persevere.
You will be severed
from those mortal strings.
These mortal beings
will become only memories.

They say let go
and I know
that soon I will.

I let it grow
The brown and grey
****** hair
Spreading like a plague
To cover the face
I used to hate

Now that shaggy man
That scraggly hound
Isn’t so bad

Despite the rough
Times he had
He has a heart
To hold the whole world
In loving esteem

Who cares if he is raggedy
And smelly

He is love incarnate
Messy but brilliant
King of mercy
A little *****

But
Who wouldn’t have
***** hands
When they are struggling
To plow a field
Full of angry fists
And replace them with
Love

They don’t trust a teacher
But they love a crooked preacher
Don’t like a scientist
But a corrupt politician
Gets their respect

If I could I would
Walk away from this world
Strip myself of flesh
Fly facing upwards
Soaring to and through
The beautiful cosmos
Because I am tired
Of the heartbreak
I would slide straight
Into a searing star
Allowing myself to be
Incinerated

Why
Because truths are debated
Not on their merit
But on the words of fanatics
Science is rejected
Madness is accepted
And from that weakness
Violence is encouraged

Let the sun destroy me
It would hurt less
Than to see the avoidable destruction
Of our withering society

In reality it is always
Some sort of sad scene
Where the queen of my dreams
Say something like
I gotta leave tonight
And the good guy
Goes out for a long cry
After she smiles and says
If you truly love me
Then you will let me go

But in my daydreams
She is my queen
I am never the king
And thats ok with me
We go hiking
Miles of talking
Not just about the light stuff
But about the deep things
We hold hands
Unless I am really sweating
And at night
We lay on a blanket
Under moon and starlight
Watching the night sky

That will never be
As far as I can see
You leave me sparkling
And if you ever want me
Then let it show
If you love me
You have to let me know

The first time you touched
my democracy
I got chills.
Seriously,
you made me feel real ill.

It was like a ray of light
that scorched my retina
burning me to the core,
because I deplore
everything you are.

Your voice is agony.
You ******* terrify me,
as you reside over
the lives you only fly over.

I was disturbed by how you
grabbed our country
by the *****,
how you stirred up
all that crazy
that had been waiting
for a madman like you.

So, right now
I am holding my breath,
hoping the rest
of my country
doesn’t fall for that
******
attituded,
and do what I have seen
lots of woman do
by going for the ******* bad boy.

If we will die
In that I trust
All things will pass
Because they must
Then let us live
And let us love
Let us linger on
The human touch
Let us smile
Let us sing
Let us dance
And stumble on
A precious chance
Let us think
Let us eat
And while we dining let us drink
Let us take a walk
And with friend or stranger
Stop and talk
Life is short so
Let us write
And if we are gonna die tomorrow
Than let us live tonight

She was the muse that wrote Shakespeare
The ink for the hard end quill pen
The pink brushes and paintings
She filled in
The scrolls
The songs we longed for
She was every inch of our existences
The persistence of evolution
The resistance to the poison and pollution
In every breath we stole
And seconds we sustained our vain self
She was there
Embedded in the genetic
And will be till the last tree
Burns down
Till the last cell withers away
Till the last protein pattern is lost
Incinerating in a nova holocaust

When you died
the world did not change.

A pebble tossed to the bottom
of a bottomless lake
left only a fractional ripple
and disappeared.

That you were here
mattered very little.
It did not change the tides
or stop the winds.

In your end
A handful of family and friends
felt deep anguish
but the world still turned.
Infinity still burned.
Eternity did not feel
the aching cost of loving that
which was forever lost.

The view outside my window
Did not stay the same.
The season changed.

I felt the cycles of pain
bouncing back
year after year
harder at first then softening some;
Waking in pain,
then easing some.

Till, I was intermittently numb.
Then I forgot to grieve.
You are still a part of me
but even I go on
turning like the earth, without you.

On wicked things
My confidence is spent
My passions pent
Do not relent
But spew as they vent
Desire classified
As what you eyed
What we spied
Others despised
Told lies
To restrain the vain
To maintain
Their golden veins
Morality impugn
Tricks imbued
The trickster
With new power
New class and classification
For the ossification
Of our nation
And bends our wills
To theirs
And decrees shame
For what is natural
Fear of what is original
Yes they call it sin
But I call it life

Bckkkkkk

Lightening splits the sky
Cracking the horizon like
Shards of shattering glass
Inverting and reflecting
The alternate dimensions
Severing the ties of reality

Bckkkk

White strings of energy
Sparkling and crackling
Time no longer shackling
Space no longer tethering
Nothing belonging to me

Bckkkk

I can almost feel the thundering
As the vibrating sensations
Touches my inner ear canal
It is frightening how easily
The lightening could consume me

Bckkkk

But the wonder of its thunder
The blunder of its destruction
Cutting sound and ground spitting dirt
Causing the earth to hurt
As it explodes one way or the other
And all I can really say is

Bckkk Bckkk Bckkk wooooshhhhhh

This would be cooler if it was really raining

Chaos was a cold void, slowly collecting mass
while solar fury flew out from the center
making meaning from our darker past
by eviscerating that expanding form,
making dark bright and cold warm.

In fear a few stayed and prayed
while almost all humans covered
their blinking eyes in awe
journeying forth from Plato’s cave
to face a brand new bright
purpose filled sunny day,

but light made to many claims
about how it conquered darkness’s
chaotic ways
with shining solar ray blades
that ripped straight through the black
tearing into eternity and bringing hope back
from nothingness.

Meanwhile, the darkness
offered the truth of disorder
only to be vilified
by those who fear and despise
the unknown.

Today it’s
Lips
Lips
Lips
I am obsessed
With red
Or black
Lips
Goth
Jeweled
Pierced
Lips
Uncovered
Or smothered
With lipstick
It doesn’t matter
Even though
It will pass
But in poetry
Right now
It’s lips lips lips

Little boy brown
dusted by broken buildings
smoking ground, and busted concrete.

Little one with a red shirt
I cannot say if it was
made that way
by the manufacturer
or this man made
disaster.

Little child laying down
on a rubble bed
by his little brother.
Instead of playing childish games
now two children lay
posed in death's way.

Little life left
in this mess
but plenty of
blame and sorrow
to share.

The water looks like a bubble
small enough for ants to carry
while ensnaring teeny tiny Ellenya,
which is very scary for her.

Her screams are smaller than fleas.
Her pleas are lighter than an atom,
but no can hear her.
No one comes near her.
Her small stature
does not match
her elegance and kind nature.

I’d beg you be careful
where you step
but she’s barely a spec
that will be swallowed
by some random ant.

I put him in my pocket
Off to the side
In dreams late at night
In memories
And fantasies
Cause I had work you see

I put him away
In the corners of my mind
For some better time
Cause there were adult things to do

And I forgot the sword fights
The dragon flights
White furry funny friends

I forgot the wonder and curiosity
And that all that was lost to me
Could be regained

But still I stuffed it away
For dull adult things
For pale redundant dreams
Until I was too tired
And that part had expired
From all the forgetting

And if that child
Could see me now
That little boy
Oh boy would he be ****** at me

She is bubonic
In her blue bonnet
Like a little black plague
Little rose petals
Withered corpse friends
Flushed with life’s
Last red blush
Swooning maroon
To her oncoming doom
And when I kiss her
She passes it on to me
Her disease becomes mine
My little Mary Typhoid
Dreadfully beautiful
Deadly but so lovely
With words of love
She snaps me in two

There was something strange about her smile
That freckle faced little girl
The grim world did not phase her
My former friend that redhead girl
Made me laugh when I wanted to cry
Made me hope when I wanted to die
Long legged skinny runner
Kind hearted animal lover
Compassionate and caring
It’s funny how some people
Can leave a lasting mark worth sharing
Can shade you in a green glade
Protecting you from the ultimate despairing
Little red haired girl is all grown up
And she may never know
How many times she saved a small brown haired boy
So this poem is for her

I cannot feel free
From being tightly trapped
Tethered to my safety
Safely sequestered
From the dangers
That I once enjoyed

Like looking backwards in a car
Seeing the past flash by
Seeing nature fleeing
Instead of rushing towards me
Watching the night sky
As I lie in the back window
Each twinkle a small pleasure

Like a midnight bike ride
With very little light
In the night sky
Seeing bright white lights drive by
Temporarily blinding me
Pupils constrict
Then dilate again
And I see like the cats do
With minimal moonlight

Like loving someone
And finally asking them
If they want to be more then friends
Heart racing breath waiting
For what might be pleasurable
Or devastating

When my gut starts bursting
From the blue button up shirt
That my friend just bought me
And Walking a few blocks
Leaves me wheezing
Well at least I know that I’m alive

When I nick the tip of my chin
Barely piercing my aging skin
And a tiny droplet starts falling
Then at least I know I am alive

When I bust my knee
From falling upstairs
While I’m trying to run
Tripping up like
Your two year old son
Well at least I know I am alive

When my vision blurs
And my back cracks
Like I got a pair of spurs
Clacking and smacking
Pop, snap, crackling
Like a bowl of rice crispies
Causing a severe state of pain
At least I know I am alive

When my brother and best friend
Go doing that grave dancing
Dirt napping coffin trapping trend
I will cry to see them die
But at least I will know that I am alive

When my memories start to go
Till I don’t know
Who you are
Or where I am
And I forget my brilliant
Exit plan
Losing the best of what I was
And not what I am
Well, **** man
If the Alzheimer’s kicks in
I won’t be able to remember
What I was just saying
So, put me on that morphine drip
Let my consciousness mist up and slip away
Cause on that day
I’m not going to say
At least I am alive

You are the clouds
That come crossing the
Cool reflected solar rays
Just to kiss cold cratered moon

I watch
Your vaporous outlines
Loose their edges
I soften just like them
With the heart of hope

A Carousel of cloud stallions
Race away faster
Than the impressions of
Love's drug induced elations

I reach out into the darkness
But your ghostly white night light
Slips away like cirrus thoughts

Tonight you are solid in someone else’s arms
But to me you are my
Cloud covered twilight daydream

The cloud’s sweat mists
Foggy moon breaking the night
Stars are like evening sprinkles
And in the sweltering heat
The factory repeats
Its strange and haunting beats

The dusty machines spit hot air
Metal grinds metal, the forklifts beeps
The sound barely startles me
Out of my space daydreams
My oddly color ear buds
Making me dull of hearing

A guy speaks at me seeking humanity
Lonely, widower he needs some connection
Fourteen year and tumors will see
His dog finally has to go to sleep

He says he needs another puppy
Offers up skewed observations
About our American nation
I am disturbed but I can see
His heart is in the right place
As he places his thoughts before me

Loves his music but I can’t help but worry
That when I leave he will cease to be
Becoming merely a memory
Echoing ghostly
Cause he is so lonely

This isn’t Eleanor Rigby
but I still see all the lonely people.

Young man makes plans
to be better,
but it is so easy
to stop resisting
old temptations,
especially when it feels like
no one really loves you.

Why not do
what the drugs tell you to do
cause a moment of relaxation
is one moment
against a lifetime of rejections.

So, he picks the closest poison
bottles, cans, pills, powders, or joints
to do what everyone was expecting of him.

Each failure is etched in his skin.
One more lost cause to remind him
that he is a worthless *******
so bad that even his dad
and mom don’t want see him.

This isn’t Father McKenzie
praying over his non-existent flock faithfully,
but I still see all the lonely people.

Crippled vet who hasn’t eaten yet
with a small cardboard sign
asks for a sandwich or a dime.

Ten blocks down the line
there is a blind man with a book bag
using his monthly check for
the cheapest hotel he can find.
Until, he runs out of money
then spends the next week and a half
sleeping on the sidewalk.

Or the old lady just off the highway
with a medium size dog,

Or the young man just of the entrance
that takes me up to the Wal-Mart
where I buy enough food to get by
throwing left overs out
at the end of the week.

At the end of the month they are all still lonely.
As am I.

It is another year gone
Another day lost
And we children left
Have naught bought
A single shillings more
Of old dreams and sunlight

A bomb blast
A bullets blooming branches of blood
Stole another poet
Stole another kind heart
In pictures seen the ****** scene
The curdled young souls
The so called foreign fiend
Cannot find her scream
Cause photos are silent things
I scream in silence

Empty face, not metaphor
But ****** mess
Her face is ******* gone

The mother holds her child close
To pose for such a picture
A photo that will not find a smile
Because her face was hit by a bomb

Another child
Another parent
Mind blown
An empty crater
Folds of flesh parts left and right up and down
I wish I could burn these images on your brain
Because a father cannot un-see such horrors

I want you to look
******* look
And see what happens when you dehumanize
Spread hate and lies
******* look

Some say look away
Look away
You cannot change
What they do
Cannot control
Or spread truth
All you can do
Is do for you
So look away
Look away
**** what they say
I will only look away
Two times
When I go to bed
And when I am dead

The beautiful dawn burnt sky
Clouds colored with purple pastels
Blue and bluer night shades
Beauty in the nighttime

The killing fields blood soaked bandages
The fanatic’s face distorted with rage
Beautiful language turned to bile
And the corpses rise in piles

The flying birds singing
The squirrel trying to hide
The dog barking playfully
The deer running at night

The Cops throwing tear gas
The cops shooting young blacks
The cops get off scott free
Blaming the black community

The warm rain washing my raw skin
Splashing in puddles
Laughing with old friends
Rinsing away the stress

The starving child
The bitter pundit
The crooked politician
All of those nasty statesmen

It is getting harder and harder
To separate the hate
From the beautiful things
The music from the screams

And I keep slipping and slipping
Faster and faster into the depressive darkness
Defeated by the heartless
My heart is breaking and unlike the dawn
There will be no light coming

Like the shadow
that covets the embrace
of day’s dwindling rays
as dark tendrils chase
loving light away,
I to race to face
that which retreats
from my sore and
swollen feet.

Rushing on
but when it is
within fingers reach,
I hear a noise,
I have a thought,
I turn my head,
then turn it back
and like the light
my love is gone.

It’s three o’clock
A terminal stop
Cause the rhyming Words
Have gone away

It’s a mighty fine time
Between four and five
Where children flip
And fly away cause the alliterations
Have gone today

It’s twelve a.m.
I’m not asleep
Just cutting and weaving
Words
Into a simple structure
But I miss the poetry
Of it all

I am lost to distractions
The factions
Of struggling actions
Working in tandem
To confuse my emotions

I am lost to exhaustion
Fatigue so deep
That when I rest
I still lose sleep

I am lost to knowledge
And all the wisdom I gain
For each new thing I learn
A world opens up
And I find that my infant mind
Must start anew

I am lost to emotions
Creative waves
Of random feelings
Directing me
To see what cannot be
Unseen

I am lost
Backtracking
Down back roads
And broken alleys
Taking the wrong turn off
The best journeys
Are unplanned

I gain so much
From being willfully lost

Baby girl
You put your dolls away
Cause in the modern age
You are just dust and decay
Waiting to wither away
Voice limited by our digital way
PC problems
Facebook issues
And all of your Teddy bears
Still miss you
Furry friends that stood by you
Till your nightmares ended
Softness against a cold hard and bitter reality
Become the fatality
Of our stumbling steps towards
A techno society
And the comforting conversations
We shared with our stuffed animal nation
Flicker and fade into the forgotten
Less technical age

No ghosts
Memories marked and stored

They fade
and maybe it’s better that way

Death is
Just another dark door waiting

Life is
Just a temp position while I’m staying

Occasionally
Their memory makes me cry

Grandpa, Lucas, Buddy,
Laura, Snuggles, Zac,
I ain’t joining them
And they ain’t coming back

So sad to see that you did not see the sea
That came between you and me
The torrential flood that filled
The caverns we use to build
Till the rough waters ransacked
My sore aching back
And the black Backpack you gave me
Was swept out to the ocean
With all of our wonderfully shared memories
Returning only sad dark emotions

It is a cosmic elation
Evolution gone stagnant
For chemical jubilation
The frustration is
I can’t settle for it
Haven’t found my fit
Corner and edges
Coming together to perfect
A playful partnership
Of the mind and the body

It is agony and nostalgia
Pathways parting
Like the roads less traveled
Looking better in my mind
I look back to find
A hopeful lie to erase the line
Of time and loneliness
Though only desire exist
Because I love an illusion

The Beatles said
“All we need is love.”
I wake crying in my bed
Because I cannot touch
The one I thought might be
A reasonable passionate
Match for me
And the hope crumbles
Like the coliseum
Where gladiators raged
Where battles were a staged
Like Pat Benatar said
“Love is a battlefield

Now I sit sorrowful in
Fools form and folly
Knowing Cupid’s Arrows
Are the tools of my destruction
So, I love alone observing
All who will never ever love me

Love is a thousand daggers
Dancing deeply in your flesh
A hundred arrows
Embedded in your breast
Fifty bullets bouncing in your brain
Love is the destruction of yourself
In hopes of the partner you will claim
The comfort you will gain
It is swallowing poison
For the pleasure of its’ own pain
Plainly put love is ****** up

Love is a regret
That I have
And have not
Lived yet

The longing
For the past
The longing
For the future
Unsure

Pure or impure
Love is to be found
Lost
Lost and found
To be lived
And forgotten
Then remember again

Love is never eternal
Surely it is chemical
And that is all I have to say
Right now

My heart never knew true love
Only hints of that fairy fantasy
Particles of hope possessed of love’s fury
The temple, frantic with romantic panic
The vestal ****** exploding with desire
To feel love inside, growing
Like a white night
Like a dark light
Like the bitter side
Of sugar
Always forces opposing
Always people nosing
Philosophers of all times
And poets trying to define
But it is not universal
It is elusive and abstract
from one to another
it means different thing
To Shakespeare
It was impulsive
Violent, destructive
To some it is a savior
Vivid and constructive
The livid and insipid made to decline
To think with an open mind
And merely pass in time
But I have never known your love
And you will never know mine

My heart never knew true love
Only hints of that fairy fantasy
Particles of hope possessed of love’s fury
The temple, frantic with romantic panic
The vestal ****** exploding with desire
To feel love inside, growing
Like a white night
Like a dark light
Like the bitter side
Of sugar
Always forces opposing
Always people nosing
Philosophers of all times
And poets trying to define
But it is not universal
It is elusive and abstract
from one to another
it means different thing
To Shakespeare
It was impulsive
Violent, destructive
To some it is a savior
Vivid and constructive
The livid and insipid may to decline
To think with an open mind
And merely pass in time
But I have never known your love
And you will never know mine

I did not wish to know you as my enemy
To see across the thin line of time and space
And find eyes of my eyes bleeding in another brother
Son of a different mother born of the same stardust
Child of the cosmos, a miracle of consciousness
I know those veins that cut and curve across your wrist
Bluish green swerving things
I know those marks on your palms
The ones once read as life lines
The ones that are the same as mine, to short
The grief-stricken child missing mother or father
The lonely sister hugging her struggling brother
The sand, stone, water, and white heat
The wind rain and dirt that bore this body home
And me sitting stupidly silent in shame
Dumbfounded by your beauty and your strength
Not some stranger narrating with my voice
Nor ghostly metaphor concealing my choices
This is the purest form of a broken heart that I can present
These syllables are my lifetime investment
Spent in pain to plead for love
I love you and you and you and you

She jumps for the moon
Her only grief is gravity
Has a will of its’ own

The stars twinkle flirtatiously
Flaunting their love for her
Burning intensely with infinity
Making her yearn to burn with them
And within them

Fighting the will of earth’s
Gravitational field
She lunges again
Falling harder and farther

Facing a bruised bottom and much despair
She kisses the stars goodnight
And heads off alone
To sleep and dream of her starry lovers

There is a room of shade between us
But this is merely fiction
Your diction is repetition
The friction is the painful precision
The pleasure becomes agony
******* queen of misery
And if you don’t remember me
Maybe you should look and see
Cause I brushed your hair I touched your skin
Lusted and loved romantically
But you were only nightshade to me
You were the dagger Juliet pierced herself with
A certain kind of stupid death wish
A certain kind of childish fantasy
And I never saw the razor’s edge
Never knew how much you frightened me
Until your blade was six inches inside of me

Violet shades
Fading into lunar light
I miss you dear
When I work at night
In the quiet midnight
I recall you fantastic flights
Of fairy fantasies
Of spectral and goblin dreams
Of such amazing supernatural beings
Distant shores shared memories
Of childhood stories you gave to me
But you grew up
And the fictions gave way
To poetic realities
And the spring days became
Winter’s finality
Not banality
Just missing a little spark
Of your younger heart
But I guess someone has to grow up
Cause I refuse to

Hate was the darkness
tied in thick frayed ropes
smothered in kerosene
swung over the biggest branch
and wrapped around my throat
while strangers pulled and tightened it.

It was the match lit that **** fire.
Their rage burned my skin
while choking me out
like a sadistic wrestler.

It was branding
and dismemberment.
All those children remember it.
It was little trinkets of remembrance,
bits of flesh, and teeth
Any part they could take of me
before and after
I hung lifelessly
from the most convenient tree.

But if you think this is just
some case of dark skinned history
Then check the news
and you will see
they are still lynching me.

I was made for rivers of pain
Not plain crab but red grass
Smoked inside an appled colored flame
Dazzling while I dapple in the rain
Stained like church windows
Ready to crack before I crumble
Ready to rock before I rumble
Ready to bleed before I am humbled
Loneliness and uncertainty
Are spooks that keep ******* me
Ghosts that keep haunting me
Camouflaged and hunting me
Longing for the curves of her spine
To touch that thin line
That creases her smile
But I watch from a distance
Keep the memory of a dream
Keep the lie of what might have been
Add it to my repertoire
Stirring it in sweet saccharin  
But bitter as black coffee
The same color of her luscious flesh
Another heaven that I haven’t touch yet
Another sorrow for the lack of
That makes pain in to artistic stuff