Do you know the true meaning of sleepless nights ? It's not staying up watching tv & on your phone ; it's drowning deep in thoughts all alone , having nightmares when your eyes shut & fighting back tears.
Sitting up or laying down thinking you overcame them but just encounter new fears , heartaches , depression & maybe a life at stake .
Ever just stared at the ceiling or stars ,wanting to be up there ? Free from mistakes & bypassing thoughts of death as these sleepless nights then become routine & the screams grow louder in protest for you to give up & in to this not thick but thin life.
These oh so sleepless nights are dreadful & exhausting physically & emotionally but when it happens all you can do is hope to sleep again .
  
                                    ~Chilled

Where are you now?
'Cause lately I don't feel you here
Where are you now?
'Cause really we're falling apart
Where is your head?
'Cause I haven't heard from you for days
Where is your heart?
'Cause you said something changed

Do you still love me?
'Cause I don't feel your love
And I'm scared
Scared to be apart

Without you I'm nothing
'Cause you're my everything

So where are you now?
'Cause I need you here

You will remain a sunrise
that wakes me up in the morning,
a morning
that fills my day with light.
You will stay with me every day
so we can fall asleep together every night
and every night I will dream of you
waiting for the dawn
so I can wake up next to you again.

my heart is tired of travel
departure brings sorrow

i am tired of the goodbyes
and too many hello's

used to believe
you could never see enough faces

but you begin to see faces
in the people you meet

all faces i swore
i miss or never wanted to see again

People have ruined so many songs for me,
I hope yours is the one I get to play for the rest of my life.

1.
i fear you more than i love you

2.
sometimes i wish you were dead so that i wouldn't have to leave you but i wouldn't have to live with you either

3.
i went to dinner with a friend you forbade me to see. when i hugged him, his body was neither as soft nor as warm as yours and i didn't like it very much. there was no ****** tension; only liberation, and deep, deep guilt.

4.
sometimes i lie to you about my phone being out of battery. it's on airplane mode because i need some time to myself and you don't like it when i ask for "alone time". why do you need alone time, you always ask. i don't know how to explain it to you anymore.

5.
i wish i had never met you because i am in a cycle of evil and fear and guilt and pain and sure some days you make me feel loved but mostly you just drive me insane. insane, not in the oh my gosh i'm so in love way but in the i don't know what's real anymore way.

6.
i feel weak because i am not strong enough to leave you.

7.
i feel strong because through it all, i have survived.