Sitting in your car
    Parked outside my house
You had to leave soon
        But, it was so peaceful out
You kissed me so sweetly
           deeply
Then you asked me
     I saw it coming, honestly
Yet, I was still shocked
           And more than a little terrified...
     Mine?  Yours?
Belonging to one another?
        I wasn't sure how this made me feel
     So many doubts and questions,
Running through my mind
             I don't like admitting it
But you're really a rare find
               Honest, sweet and kind
   I'm not sure I feel as strongly as you do
         Cause we both know the past I've been through
     I think I'm gonna try
            For you
But you seriously gotta make an effort too
       I don't wanna do this alone
   I know you're busy
Just pick up the phone
         Make some time for me
You want me to be your girl?
         Then you gotta be my guy
But this whole thing terrifies me
      I'm not gonna lie
I'll NEVER cheat
           I'll stay faithful and true
    But seriously,
That's what you gotta do too...
        So, what's my answer to you?
     First, I have stipulations
I'm not a girl all about big DECLARATIONS
          I'm the poet, I'll do that
     But I gotta know you're with me
          That you got my back...
    I'm not afraid to admit
                 I need attention
       If you can handle that
           And my crazy A$$
   Then I'll be **all yours

I forgive myself
For making you a choice
For seeing you.

I forgive the anger that ate me inside
Because I let you get so close to me
Only for you to hurt me.

I forgive these unnecessary desires
Things that used to burn for you
But have folded up into cinders.

I forgive the illusions
I chose to hold on to
Knowing that reality has no space for that.

I forgive my heart
That up til now still hopes for you,
Imagines you wondering about me.

I forgive what can no longer be.
Because I need to let go.
First and always, I must hope for me.

Is running in circles worse
Than running in a square?
Is letting chaos disperse
Worse than carefully setting up a snare?

Am I speaking in tongues
Riddled with sores?
Am I to young
To say much more?

Is grasping at straws
Better than taking with bad cause?
Is rambling about life
Better than handing out my strife?

They say that
Absence makes the heart grow stronger
But all its gotten me
Is an addiction to your scent
And an adamant responsibility
To be true.

All I ever do is hurt you 
Just stop loving me he said 
Just stop
And it won't hurt you anymore

But that hurt me more 
Than he could ever know 
And even if I could stop
I don't think I would

Life is all about love and forgiveness
So I'll accommodate all your sorrows
If I can keep you too

The familiarities that were once comforting
Have now become tear stained nightmares.
The anticipation of a new master piece-
One that brought the promise of change
And through magic became strokes
Of color-changing beauty, has now
Become dread and guilt.
The mirror cannot reflect the memories
Etched into crystalized eyes.
It cannot show the inner bruising,
From self-mutilation. It cannot show
The web work of past words that
Constrict the heart, barely holding
Together what was already broken.
The instability in a voice is ignored,
While time still continues all around.
One single moment can be sent into
Devastation while the earth doesn’t
Blink so much as an acknowledgment.
The smell of a crimson blade, should
Not be easily understood. The accusations
Should never have been, should never
Have become reality. If love is present,
Then these familiarities should be absent.

I sit in here in my window seal half naked, with my window open and the smell of freshly soaked grass wafting in with the flashing lights of the sky.

At this point in my life, i dont know what the hell is going on. Im trapped between the walls of my heart and the confines of my mind.
I am the once solid foundation of your home, after the earthquake shook your house to tears.

I am the once smiling face, after your lover left.

My heart, once beating strongly and lightly, now pouts, cold and hardened, next to my once healthy lungs.

No words can bring the soul back into my eyes, nor can any kiss bring the color back into my cheeks.

My hands cant hold him anymore, for they seem to only shake and become numb.

My mouth is no longer capable of forming soft gentle words, only harsh and savage, broken phrases pass over the cusp of my lips.

My mind finds no comfort in the things once enjoyed by my being, accompanied by the music of my laughter echoing through the corridors of a once happy home.

My legs no longer know where they are pushing me, my feet are unsure of where to step.


People say that no one is lost.




But could you tell me where i am?