Anthony Mayfield

Anthony Mayfield Aug 2018

When I first met Blue
I swore I saw stars
His corona dilated my pupils
When I first met Blue
I told Him all
But, then he wanted more
Now I’m like a child
Lost in a store

I’ve never been a man of my word
I’ve never been honest with myself
I am the weeping child
I beg of you
Don’t kiss and tell

Sometimes we're so desperate for a prince charming to come and save us, that we don't realize we're actually falling for the evil witch in disguise despite all of the signs

#weeping #child #depression #love #lost #regret

Anthony Mayfield Aug 2018

The Brazen Man

In the dark of the night
I go to bed
And feel purgatory drawing me in
Say no more

      In the dark of the night
      I don’t trust myself
      Alone with my hand
      When I should stand up to Him
      Say no more

            In the dark of the night
            The storm drain overflows
            I should really get going
            So I don’t drown
            Say no more

                  In the dark of the night
                  I call all angels
                  Take me closer to Heaven
                  And farther from Him
                  Say no more

            In the dark of the night
                  In the alleyway running
                        Please forgive me
                              For not being brazen
                                    Please forgive me
                                       For not being brazen
                                             I will say no more

The ever-revolving door of the emotional spiral

#brazen #man #say #no #more #purgatory #depression #alone #storm #dark

Anthony Mayfield Aug 2018

Say Yes

Nothing short of a miracle
Can deliver what the Blue-Haired Monster
Took from me
Don’t stop me now
I’m on a roll
All I hear is no
Will somebody say…

Nothing short of a miracle
Can deliver what the Blue-Haired Monster
Stole from me
Don’t stop me now
I’m on a roll
All I am is no
Please say…

Please…

Let me in
Give me warm clothes
And a bed
Don’t say “no” again
Somebody, say “yes”

When you're hurting inwardly, people won't know that you need help unless you humble yourself and vocalize your need. People will unfortunately say no, but you gotta keep going until someone finally sees the full extent of your interior pain and says yes.

#say #yes #help #miracle #pain #depression

Anthony Mayfield Aug 2018

Last

Somebody, please take me home
Get out of here fast
Somebody, please make me whole
Make me want to last
It’s like living under a street light
At late nights
Too scared to survive
Someone, get me some healing
Get out of here fast

Somebody’s gonna have to love
Get out of here fast
Somebody, please gain my trust
Make me want to last
Somebody’s gonna have to love
Get out of here fast
Whoever did this to me
Pray for forgiveness
I’m not going to last

That feeling when the lonely night takes over and your past becomes your present in your mind.

#last #depression #lonely #night #insomnia

Anthony Mayfield Aug 2018

Wait For Me

…Wait
…Wait
…Wait
…Wait
You don’t have to leave
…Wait
…Wait
…Wait
…Wait
That’s not ok with me
I can’t live if you leave
…Wait
…Wait
Wait for me

That dreadful moment of desperation when your significant other holds all of the emotional power over you.

#wait #for #me #unhealthy #unstable #relationships

Anthony Mayfield Aug 2018

Lovedanger

Pity
A dangerous weapon of choice
She let Him know
They shared a common voice
He became addicted to her

Heaven
He felt like an angel in Heaven
Every night when she lay with Him
But is it true love
When your soul is long gone?

Danger
What she felt every night by His side
She knew He’d do it if He saw her cry
Finger on trigger
He pointed to his head

Unfortunately, this is based on a true story. I had a friend who's boyfriend constantly threatened to commit suicide if she broke up with him even though she wasn't happy with him. Emotional abuse may not leave a physical scar, but emotional scars are just as if not more painful than visible scars.

#emotional #abuse #suicide #relationships #love #danger

Anthony Mayfield Aug 2018

Closed Door In A Shallow Pool

You’re gone to me
And your two-faced hidden agenda priorities
Will never take me down anymore
Maybe if you skip the pass
You’ll even the score
So play your melody,
O Brother of the Blues,
Play so clear
Those melancholy tunes
Play that song like never before
Play it like you’re trying to breach
A closed door in a shallow pool
Of memories gone
Like you’re drowning
And the door won’t open
Because it never opened
Please open…

Sometimes familial doors are the hardest ones to open. Especially the door that exposes the issues of a broken relationship between father and son.

#closed #door #shallow #pool #brother #blues #drowning #memories #dad