the heart
she is imprudent, irrational

to her keeper, a fickle friend
beguiled - forever -
by the executioner's charm

on the cold block
willingly
she lays her head

her own folly
the heart sees not
until "we" - she and i -
lay bloodied,
where hope is laid to rest

tragedy!

beautiful eyes
smiling faces
behind masks;
oceans, storms,
and ruins

we the helpless,
in our greed
for company
we sold our souls

when darkness
set in
in  our desolation
we the invisible
we sold shadows

for survival,
at every turn,
on each road
we sold shame

unloved, and bent
in a merciless world
we sold hearts

i do not hate you
for in hating you
i will keep you
and love you
i cannot
for your love
is my ruin

i need to let go
to separate you
from me
for i need to live

this december, this rain
is full of fire
- fire and smoke.
it's raining
ashes,
- ashes, ghosts,
corpses
of dreams and days
long gone

one day
whey you're gone
in that void
out of you
i will write
laments, and
my dreams;
they'll sing you
like requiems

time heals no wounds
it's you sweetheart ...
you do the fixing
or remain bruised

yours is the choice
take the load off your back
or live bent ...
by its harrowing weight

time helps no one

unhinged, forced down
by circumstance
you pick your "broken"
and rearrange
your pieces

you do the fixing
time changes nothing
it's all you!

The night is
burning
like ...
a funeral pyre
made of memories

In this fire
lay dreams ...
you & I weaved
in spring hues ...
for six months
and a day

you're that
random book
i picked up
and could
never put down

i read you
carefully
page by page
word by word
holding you
like holy scripture
with love
with devotion
studying you
like religion

yet foreign
you remain

you're that
strange book
i found
my story in

Tea an excuse
I'm drinking
the rain, and the gloom
In this cup
I drink memories
there's a silence,
deafening
widespread ,
and frightening
I’m consuming it
I'm drinking
this endless wait
Tea an excuse
I'm drinking
your absence

He said to her
You are a flower
A spring blossom
A rare beauty
I am but a gardener
A possessive one
Afraid to
Lose you
If you wither or wilt
It is my shame
I knew not
How to nurture you

My garden …
is barren
I ‘ve but seen …
only weeds,
in this bleakness
Do not blossom
How to love …
a thing of beauty,
So full of life
To my shame
I do not know

wheels on your cart
that old cart
carrying you
back and forth

in nowhere lane
never arriving
never leaving

timeworn
burden ridden
wobbly wheels

will you mend them
before
your cart fell apart?

or
will you end
your aimless travel
this drifting
when
your cart collapses?

she dipped the quill
deep in her vein
and on her breast
she wrote
in scarlet
a name
that was her poetry
and her undoing

open your delicate folds not
your perfume will be lost
your beauty wasted
my senses long gone
with roses of may
i cannot treasure you
sweet jasmine
blossom for me not

She is lost,
For a true friend she never had.
She is lost,
Running along unknown alleys,
Faceless shadows for company,
Alone in crowds, stranger at home.
She is lost!

You have my heart
My foolish heart
You have it
In your hands

With me,
I carry,
but a piece
Of your heart
I have it
where my heart was

Without me
You’re no whole

Without you
I am, not at all

Melancholy
Took over her life, in silent procession
Melancholy
Climbing, twining on her, in wicked obsession
Awakened are demons she sang to sleep
No destiny in sight, she’s drowning ... in
Melancholy

father said
try to see the good in people
not so easy father
not so easy

men are mean,
their world atrocious
can't u see father?
deceit, grief, pain
is what they give

war is everywhere
war at home,
war among friends
war over bread
war over love

your little girl, father
she is lost
nowhere to run
life broke her
can't you see father?

forgive your child
for the world -
they robbed her
of all the good
you instilled in her

Where was I?
In my rose garden
Where life blossomed, no more

(December to December
Sowing hope, reaping despair)

My rose garden; dead and dreary
So Long!,
for
I shall water you; nevermore!

Beautiful flower
How sad is your tale
For tomorrow
from grace you’ll fall
Your sweet scent
Forgotten
Tossed in a can
sans ceremony
will be your send off

And ...
Come tomorrow
The gardener
who so adored you
Will love again

You shall be missed –  never!

On old tin roofs
of silent ruins fell the rain
Hark, woeful music

Old pool abandoned
Drifting comes a green leaf
A Ripple! And calm again.

like a falling star
zooming away
on a moonless sky
like a hasty shower
on a cloudless
balmy evening

here one minute
gone another

like a burning candle,
to a foolish moth
one sec pleasing
fatal another

You do not stay
You're not real
You're a metaphor

Do not admire me
Like a Rembrandt

I don’t want perfect
I want my pieces
My darkness, my light
My weakness, my delight
I want my pain,  my joy
I want them together
Sewn in one colorful quilt
I need you to see
My imperfect, my flaws
My beauty and my glow
Read me & value me
hear in broken strings
my perfect harmony

Life is a poem  I cannot write
My brokenness,
a masterpiece I cannot paint

I need you
to
love me ...
Like I’m a Frida

you were
a parhelion,
on my noon sky
my blues
painted 'rainbow'
i was ecstatic
you were majestic
you were phenomenal
i was in awe
Alas!
like everything
magical
you were gone
now it’s just me,
and on me
a march sun
breathing fire -
Inferno!

Memories
they are a dungeon
and I'm breaking chains
dragging my feet
blistered and worn
out of this jailhouse
into sunshine,
Look for me not
Let me dance
on clouds, with freedom
let my soul heal

look back? I shall never.

Of which
the moral
he never found
that allegory was she
Sing to a fine tune,
he could never
that ballad was she
Taking pride
in a deaf audience
that sitar,
that shehnai was she
Writ in languages
he knew not
that manuscript was she  

She was the North Star,
he a blind, lost traveler.

Love me for my virtues, I shall someday
Hate me for my failings, let me today
Fragments, I will sew them together one day.
Fall apart in several pieces, let me today.
Dance in monsoon rains, I shall someday
Oceans in my eyes; let them flow today
On roses, on velvet, I shall rest someday
On razor sharp thorns; let me roll today
Desires,  dreams;  I’ll have some day
Despair is here, let her consume me today
If chance is upon me, in merriment
Let me live, a little that day.
Now discount the world & be silent  
Let me. Let me die, a little today.

a drifter he was
alone & cold
scared of shadows,
I’ve seen him
going door to door
as night settles in
looking for company,
in marble halls
& in high castles
in morning sun
he sits
alone & tired
wondering why
he’s alone & cold
behind  the castles,
where the grass
is overgrown
a fire burns,
every night
in a mud hut.

through pain & plight,
in darkness,
in grief
on long-drawn-out days
on  tear soaked nights
when I lay there
sleepless and torn
my foolish heart
my irrational heart
makes it routine
to sever old chains,
break all convention  
& flee where you are
lay on your shoulder
a weary head,
& spill …
a silent requiem

Mob
Noisy, rowdy
Horrifying, disturbing, depressing
Ravaging the heart & mind
Thoughts  

Burden
Lopsided, heavy
Crushing, devastating, overwhelming
The gravity makes me breathless
Anxiety

Damaged,
broken,
in form.
She was chaos.
Nomadic,
lost,
in dark alleys,
chased by
demons.
Broken shoes.
Faded robes.
Dragging her feet,
on muddy earth,
her weaknesses
uncovered,  
Her flaws they saw.
Cracked, imperfect
They saw ordinary.
Light of her Soul,
tear soaked,
made luminous,
in Love,
by care,
beautiful, immaculate,
shining,
through crevices,
gone unnoticed.
Her singularity,
They never saw.

In nowhere-land,
I'm chasing a mirage
Around me,
Loneliness taking shape
Like bean stalks on fire.
Twisting turning
they reach the skies
And explode

As dawn broke,
came a dragonfly
to sit on my window sill
Change is come,
or more rain to fall, still?

A fine Sunday morning
Royal poincianas in bloom
Earl Grey on a bistro table
My heart sang a dirge
Flashes of a time gone by

Night.
Ceaseless, melancholy.
Haunting, unnerving, tormenting
One by one, bled old wounds.
Memories.

abstract skies
of red orange & grey
morning dew
are happy teardrops
on a poet’s jasmine
a gentle sea breeze
gathering, dispersing
sweet  fragrances,
fairy terns everywhere
elated in their happy tunes
in the distance
a rooster’s
commanding voice,
all around,
beauty synchronized
in perfect harmony
on a colossal screen
last day of forever
is here
with a sarcastic
splendor

Watching
the sun go down
a murky horizon,
I thought,
how sad a thing
farewell is.
How hard it is
to breathe
pressed under
time’s thumb.
Even sadder
is the goodbye
left unspoken.
You sit there
frozen,
like a monument
watching. Helpless.
Your world,
twilight consumes.
Your elixir,
that was love,
is now your poison.