i.
i met a boy with light brown eyes
and a nice smile, with glitter in his hair
and no blood on his hands, and
he reminded me of the rain and
sun at the same time.

  *ii.
he sometimes looked at me but it
wasn't with the same passionte eyes
i viewed him and i was certain he wasn't
longing for me to kiss his neck and graze
my teeth on the thin skin of his collarbone.

   iii.
he fascinated me in ways i couldn't even explain,
his mind was the ocean i wanted to dive in and explore,
but i found myself unable to swim in the deep water,
and i couldn't find a way out on the surface, i felt myself
drowning and his arms, which didn't even reach out for me,
couldn't save me.

    iv.*
i was buried by his laugh and drugged on his smile
but i couldn't wish for a more lovelier death.

I want someone to look me in the eyes
like nothing else matters

I want to wake up to him
or a text from him or something more
than the empty feeling in my chest

I want someone to share random thoughts with

I want him to pull me into
his jacket and zip us up inside

I want to talk to someone
about theories, ethics, words,
the universe and more

I want someone to call me at one in the morning
and tell me to look at Polaris

I want him to pick me up unexpectedly
and make me laugh hysterically until I snort

I want someone to trade literature with,
sleep in with, cuddle with

I want someone to miss me when we're apart

Have you ever met someone
and in the same instant
that your eyes glazed over with the sight of perfection
and your heart melts with desire
you just know it never can and never will be true

La douleur exquise, la douleur exquise.

I unconsciously chose to ignore the idea of impossible
but I need reality to crush that
Otherwise,
I'll be stuck in paradise for one day too many

In the meantime
You seem to be the only one I would ever want
And the only one I can never have

Slide your hand into mine
And press your nose against
My cheek
Flaming red
Blush? I don't think so
More like an adrenaline rush
Just because I know
I feel it sending a tingle down
My spine
Your hand
You slide
My bones freeze against
Blood, ice
Slide
Your tongue's entangled in mine
As we brush our noses
Cheeks
And slide into our own space
Against the will of time.