Here’s some Xanax for the anxiety caused by the Adderall that you got for not being able to focus as a side effect of the anti-depressants prescribed to you for the depression caused by a low nutrient, snake oil infused society.

Why do I...
Rely on tomorrows,
Loathe in secret sorrows.
Why do I...
Pretend like this time is borrowed,
As if this isn't the real thing...
It's practice, that must be what I think.

Why do I, when I know it's not true?

Another lifetime,
My friend then you were..
When we were 730 days old,
We had been placed in the same social circle.
Our parents were around one another,
Therefore so were we.
Countless hours spent together
None that I can recall..
Just the general idea of it all
Separated for some time,
Since your parents lived somewhere different than mine.
You became a memory in my mind,
Barely there, somewhere hidden way behind
But still, you were there..
Somewhere.

From my mental you appeared
Into my physical, you became visual
It felt oddly visceral
You were not something I learned,
Yet something I knew
You knew as did I,
When we first spoke again
About the time we've spent,
Both of us knew we no longer "knew" that time,
Just a memory of our minds.
Cordial we soon became,
Through shared friends during summer school breaks.

Fast forward sometime..
Follow it down the straight line
Springtime, I believe it was
Or maybe fall
What time of year do teens start school again?
Might have thought spring,
From recalling nostalgias of that time
Growth and blooming
Nature's prime-time
Just the right time,
When the earth is perfectly distanced from the sun.
Placed together once again
This time by algorithmic (g)odds.
This time was different
The choice was now ours,
We chose to "spend time"
We chose to treat each other like kin
We chose to respect each other, and trust one another
We chose to become very close.
I thought you were visually stimulating
Though there were no ****** tensions,
No physical intentions
Simple acquaintance elation,
Good relations.

I upset the bond,
I messed up.
Without giving it much thought,
I leaked a clue to a secret I did not know was so "secret."
Not knowing what it meant to you,
I came to find out what I meant to you..
A lot less than I thought I meant to you.
Becoming the victim of a public shun,
Our time seperate had begun.
I was sorry for what I dropped,
But wasn't aware of the weight it held.
I was ashamed
Ashamed of me,
Ashamed of you.

I thought I'd give time a breath
Let it have a little stretch
Letting it go,

..
Not knowing it would never return.

Are you running from me..
Like i'm running from you?
Are you thinking of me
How i'm thinking of you?
Telling yourself it won't work out..
It must be "too good to be true."
Are you using excuses for me
Like I am for you?
Too this, too that, not enough _.
Are you uneasy with the warm feelings,
wishing instead to stay blue.
Are you stumped like I am
Wanting to reach out,
But thinking "maybe I should wait a few?"
Not wanting to suffocate you..
Are you down 4 me like i'm down 4 you?

..Are you?

I'll be in the woods, but you won't need me. When I find the wood guarded by scarcity I too will steal, yet I will only take the milk that has already been liberated.

Los Angeles: The air available here is no longer adaptable, my lungs have not evolved like the rest and my filter is getting full, it’s getting complicated to breathe. The chemicals are no longer reacting like they are supposed to. I used up all the gas, the batteries too. I try to wind-up, pull the string, re-charge. These sources no longer work, I need something new. The wiring seems off, the lights sometimes flicker, rarely staying bright for long. I tried replacing the crank, yet there was not enough electricity to put it into rotation. I called for a tow-truck but it never showed, I pumped up my tires and pushed but I still could not roll. I opened the door, starting my journey to the woods…which I hope still exist.

They look and see
The quiet surface of me,
Slight waves of personality.

They don't know what I hide
How strong my tide.
The depth of my sea,
They simply cannot see.

They will never be
able to swim to my depths,
or reach my upmost steps
Couldn't possibly stay afloat when I've wept.

To see what lives in the deep darkness of me,
There is not enough breath to explore beneath chest.

I am a labyrinth.. I confess.

Cooking up styles
Master Recipes,
For no one to see.
The people are at the shore
I'm stuck at sea,
Barely floating
Almost choking
Mind infected,
Hoping for a resurrection.
I've got all the skill
But, I'm missing the will.
It's been too long waiting for change
It won't find me...
I am stuck at sea.