have you ever feel...
tired of being good?
being patience,
being trustful,
being positive.

and you waiting for a day,
a day when you can do bad things
without feeling miserable.

do the things immediately,
because you don't need patience.

do everything on your own,
because you don't need to trust.

and didn't feel messed up,
because you didn't expecting positive things.

didn't worrying something bad.
cause you're in that path.

don't need to fix something.
cause broken is your thing.

it's not good to look forward too far
cause life's not a single lane
decision is a bet, every take pays risk

you have history as a story
and i heard it as a lesson, buddy
don't stuff it alone into your head
cause pressure is deadly

throw away your sorrow
to ring the bell of silver lining

i'm walking with this cold feet
towards the blank space
hoping about finding a reason
that will answer all my questions

with simplicity
it led me to brighter points
and made me think that i'm right

i started a new level of my life,
after all those answered questions.
i'm no longer being naive,
cause i already know my directions.

i want to be as happy as a kid
you buy them ice cream, they are happy
you tell them stories, they are excited
you play a song, they are dancing
no weight on their action
no consideration
no purpose
they just did it impulsively

but then
maturity kills these simplicity
as the time goes by
more lessons learned
more experience earned
more stories witnessed
too many turning points
and it's tiring
i never thought that life can be this uncomfortable
ever

how can we feel it again?
this is a question the time can't answer

you had frequently checked her favorite place
like she's going to sit there as usual

you talked with that place
like you talked with a person
cause you think it's a part of her

she's your favorite ghost
the one that you've always talked to
in every night that comes as a gloom
without expecting any answer

she's your favorite ghost
the one that you've always imagined
her presence sticks in your head
her memories floats on the stream of your blood

three years has passed
it's unbelievable that you survived

you're going to where your vision guides you
it's going to be beautiful
but it won't be easy

they had just arrived in eternity
a minute seems faster in that morning
they don't deserve their own tears
because you know
He won't let who He had chosen
feeling hurt when they faced Him

they left their hope
to become as one of other's

i love living life in late night,
or you call it early morning?
i love people in early AM,
they are honest yet more real.
i love the situation between light and dark,
cause' i could feel both cold and warm.
i love midnight conversation,
when people are on their vulnerable side.
i love the feel of quietness,
when ego didn't taking control inside.
i love the night's silence,
cause i could hear myself fully.
i love the time of day changing,
cause it reminded me to keep moving on.
-
i love feeling the midnight.

If your body was a blossom, let me be your anthophile.

after the dawn
when bats are awaken
cold starts crawling in
clouds passing over the moon
like water flushing the dust
only dark remained for the last

Cupid might equally shots everybody
but how many arrows are needed to affect you?

various kind of persons are there
they are gathered by faith

some are confused
some are scared
some are sad
some are happy
some are feeling blessed

that thief who felt miserable after his first bank robbery
that homeless man who lost his life spirit
that widow who missed her dead soulmate
that leader who lost his people's trust
that preacher who seeks some blessings
that bullied lonely kid who came by some people's suggestions
that man who just got his first job and finds no one to talk with
that woman who's in the middle of her roughest week
that girl who tried to get through a heartbreak
that boy who felt doubt about the point of his presence

they are being honest, telling their problems through silence
keeping themselves believing that they are being listened

that optimism seems promising, they might refilled their will to live

until an explosion happened.

Instead of being charming,
You drown me to your quietness.
Your calmness bending my ticking-clock to stop,
expanding time to feel me the euphoria.
I like how you did everything,
every move you made drives me to satisfaction.
I didn't know the purpose of this feeling,
and didn't want to.

Nothing's more mesmerizing than her smile
All clouds are competing to protect her from sunlight's heat
Those eyes are prettier than glittering diamonds
Apparently, she doesn't need anything to prove it
She shines like the sun in summer day
Her presence warms everything around her
And she still thinks that she was nothing.
-
She had some strength on embracing her flaws
Her joy sparks my whole day
Altering my mind to keep growing
For all the things she did, she was good enough
And yet she still thinks that she was nothing.
-
Reasonably, she might experienced a lot of dissapointments
Affecting her view about some things
However, she's still an adorable cinnamon roll
Managing to keep herself stable
Aiming her way to keep surviving
Dealing with constant unfairness for this long
Improving for better days ahead
No one can stop her
And after all, she is something.

along with this life steps
my past life was a mess
i was lifeless

i lived with fighting thoughts
to obey or being rebellious

if i found out,
that my main persons
is all supportless,
i would never told my goals

but there's no way back

i grown with taunts,
in rude vicinities

but it's all changed me
now i'm a strong unity
i left my fragility
to fully conquer this body.

i get confused,
whenever you left a code on your act.
it's like a sign of your complicated mind,
and i haven't learned the language.

you have that barrier to stop me from trying,
it's like there is a quicksand on the space between us.

i never knew how to catch you up,
cause you left me clueless.
there are a part of you that's giving a straight hope
to whom you just connected to,
but the other part is just trying to messed it up.

you got me involved into your game,
you are the hand of your puppets.

The waiting has blown
Exploding with fireworks
Showing new perks
Is it too early for revolution?

I talked too much about it
But haven't did anything

I flew from one hope to another
Deciding with greed
And new hope has came
Sparkling through every sight
Stumbling the lost hope over and over
Until it stuck and disappeared behind

Reality strikes all the happening event
Stunning every head until everyone realized
That they accomplished a big zero
From yesterday and long back then

So, plans happen
It happens every time but it keeps repeating
Cause all the heads doesn't give a s- about reality
We just keep pretending to be okay

if your personality was a movie,
i would watch it all day.
your smile is an enigma,
i find my head stormed everytime i tried to solve it.
i wonder how could you left that beautiful eye bags,
yet you still looks so fine with it.
you always had stories written on those pair of eyes,
but you never show it as happy or sad.
your mood is my kind of weather.
there's always a reason why you were so magnetic.
always.

the guilt
when they gave you trust
but you can't keep it
you lose it somewhere

it's like a crowd
approaching me
closer
till i don't have any space
screaming about my faults
right on my ears
put me under the pressure

there is no way to gave up
it's all what i deserve.

have you left your legacy?
on the land with glimmering hopes
have you ever breathing normally
knowing that you can't even left your footprints on wet sands?

there are two ladies running on the field
cheering each other for many reasons
they had their roughest days

they lived once in the kingdom full of kings and queens
all of them had their own crowns
but most of them had stolen

aimlessly wandering
looking for nothing
that heart was empty
but there's no room to fill

"do you know where the hope is?"
said these ladies to the dark blue ceiling
but nobody's answered them

the moon admires you as you admired the sun
even the stars are shining for you in your dark times
you're the home that we lived in.

you gave us time as you rotated
the time that we've wasted with selfishness
our greed has made your heart burned
and it also takes time to clean the mess

will you still forgive us?