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Ellen Joyce Oct 2014
October falls like blood pressure
on scalding dead sea afternoons
making driftwood of bodies
and all struggle futile.
This is the amber blaze;
the penetrating hues of oranges and yellows
blurring to bright white noise against
the barking of trees stripped bare
to the cacophonous scent of feathers and fire.
The autumn sky hauls tight its purse strings,
drawing night in, wrapped tight like winter coats
cumbersome and confining – in decline.
The equilibrium tipped by a bandit callous and howling -
piercing pitch shattering prism till colours fall away like raindrops
and life turns back to black.
  Aug 2014 Ellen Joyce
Emma Amme
I don’t want to be touched in ways that make my insides turn to licorice
I don’t want you to hold my hand because it binds us to the public and you own me.
I don’t want to kiss in movie theaters.
I don’t want to have *** in the back of your car.
I dont like doing things that feel like a betrayal to myself
Every time our hands intertwine or our lips press together
In a half hearted attempt to rekindle the butterflies that are long gone
Sit at the bottom of my stomach. Dead.
When I fake *******, smiles, lies about how happy I am
I feel apart of myself tangle up
Making me smaller and smaller until im a ball of knots.
I don’t want to be anyones *** interest
Safety boat
Most important person because it limits me to what I can be to myself.
I don’t want to be touched in ways that betray myself and make me any less of my own most important person.
  Aug 2014 Ellen Joyce
Sia Jane
Never did I want saving
I realised; as thousands of moons
Had passed, in many
A long night,
That my saving grace
Was always myself,
Cast amidst a
Million stars,
Stood my Universe,
Night as inevitable
As day,
Sunset, as sunrise.
I never walked alone.
Despite feelings of,
alone,
Lonely, wanting someone
To very simply, hold
Me.
Because despite this,
Warrior front,
Is the child in me;
Peter Pan,
Wishing on the
Brightest star in the
Sky.
So you see I never
Needed you to
Catch my fall.
I only wished
You'd allow us both
To accept how
Profoundly
We both fell.
Not into abyss,
But into the light
Of true life
& love.

© Sia Jane
  Aug 2014 Ellen Joyce
SG Holter
His Down's Syndrome makes
His age a tough guess, I'll
Say eight to ten.

Wide eyes on machines,
Ice cream dripping on the
Pavement outside the

Construction site.
I wanna work like this when
I grow up,
he says in

Young enthusiasm to a mother
Whose eyes well up with
Gratitude when I approach

And kneel down in front of
Him. So you want a job,
Buddy?
I ask him with a

Wink. He suddenly remembers
His ice cream and bites into
It shyly. Nods, glancing at the

Tools in my belt, the scratches
On my arms, the brick wall
I've been attacking with a

Wacker jackhammer. Nods
Again. Well, I'll see you in a
Few years,
I say with another

Wink, this time to his mother,
Who'd look her young age if
Her eyes weren't as tired,

But you can start with this
And get some practice.
I hand
Him my Stanley Fat Max

Hammer. His ice cream
Hits the ground as he
Recieves it with both hands,

Looking to his mother for
Confirmation that it's ok.
Oh, it is. She mouths a

Thank you SO much...
They walk away, his chatter
High pitched and fading

Around the corner. And I
Head over to the foreman to
Report that I lost my hammer.

Don't ever employ me.
I can work a good game, but
I'm too soft around little heroes.
They say that all is fair in love and war
But is all fair in the war of love?
Is there temperance amidst the virile and the delicate?
Or is it just a guise shielding us from the bitter truths of love?

Dear brother of mine
Bold lawman in the making
Had a young sweetheart years apart

He was climbing up fast
With the promise of a bright future
And she would only be the start

But two summer days
Of ecstasy and pleasure
Were all it took in the name of time

For the young sweetheart
With his heart on a hook
To tear apart the cord of his precious spine

Now his reputation, his hopes, his dreams are on the line
Because of a young heart whose blood was replaced with slime
How can this happen to a man of pure heart and mind?
Such a burden to my dear brother will never be a friend of mine
Based on a recent tragedy a few hundred miles from my hometown.

---

© Jordan Dean "Mystery" Ezekude
I'm lost again
Lost again in the snow

There's nothing here
No people
No houses
No trees
Nothing

Nothing but white
and me

It's so cold here
Yet I still feel warm

I'm lost here
Yet I feel like I've been here before

I look up
I see a hand
It helps me up

The hand disappears
I see a house
I recognize that house

I reach out
I open the door
I am home

It's warm here
And I feel that warmth

I start feeling cold
I can't feel its warmth anymore

I'm lost again
Lost again in the snow
Story of my life

. Written after depression in September 2010

. Inspired by "Counting the Roses" by Arto Lindsay

"Poetry to me, it's like creating my own microcosm.
A sanctuary of comfort. It was probably, no, it must have been the end of another sad day when I wrote this poem."

- Kimberly Fox, fictional character (D2)

. For my loving family who is, was and always will there for me



Thank you
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