Don't tell me
what you learned in school
was useless

because
every day
you:

count
the number of likes
you got on your selfie
to figure out the value
of your beauty,

write
perfectly formed tweets
to exude creativity and wit
you wish you
actually possessed,

read
status updates
from former friends
who always seem
to be doing something
exciting,

become curious
about the lives
of people
you've never met,
and

question
why you waste
your time
comparing yourself
to carefully crafted personalities
that exist only
for Internet audiences
they would otherwise
be too afraid
to address.

Don't tell me
what you learned in school
was useless.

I found myself
full
after a day
of starvation
and I look in the mirror
disgusted by
not only my external
appearance
but my inner demons
as well

We have thoughts
about everything
we come in contact with,
but I never saved
my better judgments
for me

Perhaps I have used up
too much kindness
on everyone else
until there is none
left
at the end of the day
to spread through my fingertips
onto the skin
I occupy
but cannot seem
to love

It can be said
that whatever you put in
is what will come out

So why is it
that I am not getting back
everything
I am putting in?

I was taught early on
that energy cannot
be created or destroyed

If I am giving you everything,
then you are not destroying it,
just redirecting the love
towards something
you care about more

I suppose I need
to account
for the negativity
I intake from you,
which would make my output
less than perfect

We are a water cycle-
you pour drinks down my throat
and I cry them back into your hands

Let's pretend
our equation is balanced
until I remember
what it means
to be my own pure element

Our greatest fear
is often
being wrong,
but what is so good
about being right?

People who are always right
never learn to get up
because they never fall down.
They never taste
the sweetness of victory
after their mouth was filled
with the sour taste of defeat.

People who are always right
learn by retaining,
not by doing.
They are simply sponges,
collecting data,
barely in need of their brain.

People who are always right
do not get rewarded
because no one cares
about the one-shot triumph,
if the five hundred tries
are more interesting.

We are afraid of being wrong
because we think it means
that we are weak.
Being wrong,
however,
really just shows
we are human.

There is nothing I regret

Not that time
I stormed out on the party
telling him I had nothing
left to give

Not the day
I didn't apologize
for treating her
like I was better

Not that night
I kept my mouth shut
when he crawled into bed
and we both knew I was mad
about something

Not that day
I finally let out
every thought
from every time
I had held my tongue

Not the many meals
I skipped
in fear of gaining
something other
than energy

I don't regret any of those times
because without them,
I would not have learned
that not all men love equally
and that some will leave you speechless
and others,
breathless

I would not have learned
that those who truly care
will not let you go

I would not have learned
that the best friends
you can have
are the ones that forgive you
when you do not speak

I would not have learned
that the mirror
is not the only one
that gets to decide
how pretty you are
or are not

I have learned
and I have grown,
so regret,
I do not

The way I think about you
on these days
is different

It is not the casual thoughts
I have about the way
you looked at me
that one time
we tried to study together

It is not the replaying
of when you kissed me
at the bottom of the stairs
that night everything
fell apart

It is not the daydreams
of how I might return to you
in just a few short days

It is when I get this feeling
deep in my stomach
that I think
would most commonly be paired
with the phrase,
I miss you

It is often on these nights
that I get to hear your voice
or in the following morning
when I wake up to see
that you tried to call

It is almost as though
I could sense our connection,
that maybe,
wherever you were,
you were missing me, too