When the weather turned warmer
Your heart turned colder
Told me that we were over
Autumn would mean fall
But not fall in love
This was the end of me and you

My friends always said you were a liar
They ended up being right

Last night, you called me
Just to tell me that you miss you
That all you wanted was me by your side
You asked me to come to the lake
My sleepy eyes smiled at the thought

I dreamed of being with you again
Your family there as well
Sitting under the hot sun
Feeling nothing but happiness

It's raining tonight
Just like that first night we spent together
My stomach sinks because I wish you were here
I smile because I can tell you these thoughts
Knowing that you feel the same way

Maybe this will be a new start after all
Maybe we will grow in the ways we always meant to
I can only hope that we can change in just the right ways
So that we might work together

Every so often
You meet someone
Who you fall in love with
Ever so quickly

There is a usually a clock ticking
In time with your beating heart
Racing, faster and faster
Which one will win?

Time will run out
Time always runs out
Before love can form
But before heartbreak as well

You'll part ways
Never to meet again
When you think of them
Your lips will always remember to smile

Every so often
You meet someone
Who you fall in love with
For no reason at all

I tell myself it means something,
When you miss me in the early afternoon.
The sun has risen above both your head and mine,
Shining brightly as I lay sleepily in my bed.
You have already started your day,
Doing who-knows-what in the middle of nowhere.
I should have gotten up hours ago,
Maybe finally done something other than think of you.
I sent you away with no goodbye, my fingers crossed
In hopes you wouldn't find yourself entwined with another girl.
Now the paint on my nails is chipping away,
I'm not ready for a new coat of someone else just yet.
Still I float along in your general direction,
Pulled in by the strong forces of your sweet words and soft touch.
When I finally stop moving, I don't know if you'll be there
But I pray that I can touch you, even if you're looking somewhere else.

I knew I wanted to step on the scale
But my mind was screaming "don't"
Because that number only tells you
How much gravity is pushing down on you
Not how much you're worth

I stared at the wall
As my bare feet touched the cold surface
For once, I was strong and didn't want to see
A number that would break down
The very small wall of self esteem
I have been trying so hard to build

I prayed I would see nothing
Higher than a 4
Or else my day would be done for
I looked to the spot between my feet
As though I was looking into a crystal ball

And surprisingly, I liked what I saw

Some people are afraid of love
and falling from unknown heights

I ride the tallest and fastest rollercoasters
over and over again
but can't bring myself
to eat in front of those I fall so quickly for

I'm not afraid of falling
I'll even take the jump
I'm afraid of sleeping with the door open
because someone might see the real me

I told you I was busy
that night you asked me to go ice skating
When really I couldn't decide what would hurt more-
breaking a promise to my friends
or watching you watch me fail

You sleep with the door closed, too
I know because I'm behind it with you
On Friday nights
when late night thoughts and beer
make the perfect mixed drink
to sip on while getting to know someone

Even though I still don't eat in front of you
You've seen the way I sleep,
the way I look when I wake up,
tasted my hungover mouth,
and felt every inch of me

I think I'm ready to go ice skating now
Maybe even with dinner before

But let's keep the door closed when we sleep,
I like it better that way

I wonder
If you'll spend hours
Staring at your phone
Waiting for the reply
My friends told me not to send

I wonder
If you wanted
Something to make your beer soaked lips
Curl up into a smile
Something to warm your already
Over-heated heart
Or if maybe
You just wanted me to know

I wonder
If when I didn't respond
You went down the list
Of girls that might care
Unless that's what you were doing

I wonder
If your friends knew
The nameless ones I don't hear about
With whom you have a summer built bond
Strengthened by drinks of the same nature

I wonder
If you'll find a plastic placeholder
When sleeping alone
Becomes the loudest thought

I wonder
If you'll wish she was me

I cross the street and you cross my mind
Carefully trying to avoid the pothole
But what does it matter?
I've fallen for you already

I once caught my breath in this spot
Shortly after, you took it away
At the moment where the city becomes visible
Looking to where the sun rises
You told me I was not your morning memory
But I always found my way into your thoughts

All day I had been trying to insert myself
Into your life, conversation, mind
Fighting with a girl who used the secrets I told her
To fund her vacations from pinky promises and movie nights

My voice must have hit the perfect spot in your ears
Because the beer you bought me kissed my lips
In a way that reminded me of you
And your hand on my knee was more comfortable
Than the yoga pants I was embarrassingly wearing
In a bar on a Sunday night

I tell myself the bright headlights shining in my direction
Are the cause of my blurry vision