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I will love you when your ship has sunk
I will love you when you're in a funk
You only love me when you're drunk

I will love you when your wallet's shrunk
I will love you when you've lost your *****
You only love me when you're drunk

So have a shot, have a drink
chug it down without a wink
Have a keg, have a bottle
Drink it down until you throttle

Just get wasted, just get crunked
You only love me when you're drunk
Don't take it too seriously ;D
He is now thirty six
Still giving me teenage kicks
Has my favorite of all *****
Body and brain in a perfect mix
Great fingers and great licks
No drugs needed to get my fix
Only John and his bag of tricks

Happy birthday, my love.
My eyes are burning
And my *** needs some space
This kid is staring at me
He has a big grin on his face
For 6 hours he's been awake
Bouncing around on three seats
It almost seems like someone
Has given him **** to eat
I stuff myself with pills
To try to get some sleep
But the kid is keeping me up
So soon I'll make him weep
I will whisper in his ear
That santa isn't real
And I'll describe to him
How chicken-pox will make him feel
I'll tell him about the dentist
How bad it hurts to drill
And how much he'll have to work
To be able to pay his bills
How hard it is to get a girl
How expensive a driving lesson is
The statistics of failing marriages
And how you can get ****** from a kiss
I'll tell him all of this and more
If he doesn't sit down and shut up
And if he still won't calm down
I'll show him *******
Oh how many times
have I watched
a movie
I don't want to see
with a guy
just cause I want to see
him
naked
I had a dream last night
I dreamt that I was holding you
in my arms
When I woke up
I realized
that I was spooning
a bottle of ***
I've been waking up like this far too many times.
She
She can take the dark out of the night-time and paint the daytime black
You met him at a party in two thousand seven.
He cheesily asked if you had fallen from heaven
You laughed and said "is that the best you can do?"
He said I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.

Despite the silly pick up lines, you agreed to dance all night
He walked you home and at the door you gave him an invite
You were kissing til the sunrise and he promised you to call
You texted your best friend, saying, "for this guy, I could fall"

He asked you out the next day, you were excited as can be
You walked hand in hand in the park and carved your names into a tree
Everything felt so perfect and you knew he'd be the one
That would make you feel that with every other guy - you're done

After one year of dating , he asked you to be his
You happily shouted out "YES!" and gave him a big kiss
In a white church you were married, wearing a white dress
It was the wedding you've always dreamt of, truly a success

You moved into a big house, after a few years you got knocked up
You were supposed to be happy but you kind of felt locked up
It was the life you've always imagined, everything was going well
Yet you felt so suffocated, as if you were imprisoned in a cell

You were stuck in a rut, but too comfortable to change it
You knew what it would take but you still wouldn't arrange it
In your big house you were stuck, feeling miserable and numb
But if someone asked you how you were doing you held up your thumb

The sparks that once flew around you, have burnt out long ago
When you were making love, in his eyes there was no glow
You used to be his muse but now you're just his spouse
The passion you once shared is buried beneath the house
I'm a big fan of being forever alone, out of fear from living in The House.
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