You knew how i got all my scars
Except the one i got when you left

You ask me, what anorexia is like.

It's like slipping or twisting your ancle without anyone seeing, no one to help you up.
You sit until someone comes by, they help you up, but after a while you slip again.
This time your sitting in mud and slowly sinking into it.
And when you're two feet into that hole, a person comes by and tries to help you since your anvle is hurt.
But you're afraid they'll fall too so you ask them to leave.
You start to crawl out and finally get up, but slip again.
You fall down in that hole again, and this time you beoke your entire leg.
It starts raining and the hole grows deeper.
It's 5 feet deep now.
One of your well known friends comes by and tries to help you, but ends up throwing you a shovel.
But actually you start to like your hole, you take contact to people, who also fell into a hole.
There are sites on the internet, some shows how to get the deepesr mist perfect hole.
Other shows how to get up.
But you're sad, and you like your hole, so you try to get that deepesr one.
You want to win this, you wanna show everyone who called you weak that you can get the deepest hole in the world.
But when you're 20 feet under ground, and everyone starts to notice your hole.
Everyone is willing to help you.
And suddenly you have 20 shovels, and 20 stairs.
But you can't decide wich one is better.
*That's what being anorexic is like

schizophrenia is back.

I talk to the creature sat at the end of my bed,
He takes his hands and places them on my head,
I cry into his palms,
He is humble,
He is kind,
The only vision that has been in the whole of my life.

I tell him my troubles,
My worries,
My pain,
He whispers and tells me to keep being sane.

I tell him I lost my mind a long time ago,
He says
"Oh my dear, no.  You are the one who's sane amoung a world that is crazy. Take this your gift and let your life flow."

He tucks me into bed,
Wipes my eyes,
Tells me to never believe anyone's lies,
He leaves me now,
Walks away,
I close my eyes,
And drift away.

After a lifetime of "my gift" giving me grief,
Pain, despair, and broken belief,
The creature he showed me,
That not all is bad,
There is hope still,
maybe I'm really not mad.

I hear voices down the hall

I called, and I called,

But they let me fall.
They said they didn't know me at all

I hear the voices now from far away
Are they in my head or here to stay?

If I am quiet
They won't hear my body sway

Away, away.

This was not love making.
This was sin
and the devil victoriously
danced between the sheets.

We live in a world where no means convince me and flirting is a green light for ***.
Where women are told, don't get ***** and men are rarely told, don't ****.
Where **** shaming is encouraged and victims are blamed.
Where speaking out about **** is a call for attention and **** victims are silenced.
We live in a world where **** culture is normal and that is **unacceptable.

Silently screaming
Trying not to give in
To the dark pessimistic thoughts
And you simply laugh
Thinking everything of me
As the ultimate joke
Funny how you're the one crying now

(Chorus)
Falling, falling
Crumbling ever so slowly
Eyes barely open
Yet still can see
Through the lies
Attempt to block it all
Only to absorb the hate
And lose again

Just the sand
Of the sea
Doesn't matter to me
Nor does the little voice inside
I should let you know
My mind's innocence
was robbed from me

(Chorus)

Thought love could conquer all
But even that dream was false
It used to mean the world to me
To take the pain away
Away from the something
I didn't understand

(Chorus)

Silently screaming
It doesn't matter
This used to mean the world to me
But I already knew
I can't even save myself now.