How did we become ...this?



-e.b

I'm sitting at my bed
Thinking about you
And about how you didn't answer my calls
Or opened the door when i was knocking constantly
Or how your mom told me to stop to call


I'm just worried,
Really really worried
And i have this weird intuition
That something bad happened,
But i just really really hope
That i am wrong

And i hope
That right now
You're smiling
Or laughing
*Laughing will be good too

You wake up
By 8 o'clock
You get up to
The fridge
Wondering what
To
Eat

But then
Ana knocks at the door
And when you don't
Reply To her knocks
She keeps ringing
And ringing
And knocking
(...) So you go to the door,

Knowing she won


And there Ana stood
With a smile on her face
She goes to the fridge
And lock it with
Endless locks

She tells you: "It's for your own good"
She tells you: "No one wants a fat cow like you"
And you, you just say:
"Thank you"

Because you know
Ana will keep her eye
On you
And follow you
And you won't have
Any choice
But to surrender to
Her

**Ana always win

You saved me , you made
          A smile on my face

And then
                You left,
Leaving me broken.

Then,  I got
                 Sad.
And now there is blood on my wrists.

Depression is a contagious disease.
            Once it finished you,
    it came to me.

Every night
At 2 A.M
You  were  finally mine
And  I  was
Yours

1 word.
7 letters.
7 underrated letters.
7 deadly letters.
Without any early alert.

'Goodbye' is a word i hate.
It's final.
Without any going back.
'Goodbye' can never be good.
You, 6 feet under the ground can never be good.

I** might not be the smartest
I might not be the prettiest
I might not  be the thinnest
I might not be the most talented
I might not be the sportiest
I might not be the most popular
I might not be the most stable
I might not be the strongest
I might not be the best at everything
I am not  prefect...
But somehow

That's okay.

-e.b

Every night,
If you'll look closely enough at the sky,
You could see the thousands of Iranian children silently,
Walking trough the minefield,
With plastic keys hanging from their necks
that were promised to bring them
to paradise,
When the mines will
**explode.

It is raining right now.
And i am reminded by all of our moments in the rain and  how we always forgot to bring umbrellas and we would freeze in some abandoned place for hours, laughing.
And after 3 months, since... the incident happened..
I think of you and i smile.

We all*  like to blame society

How *disgusting is society today
How is society so Judgemental , so pressuring and dangerous

We act like society is some isolated terror organization of some people
That have no affinity to us or to the rest of the world

And we tend to forget
We
Are
*Society

Dearest dear,
if you'll look closely enough, you will understand that last night was a comedy,

But...

very word, every thought, and every emotion come back to one core problem:life is meaningless.

But...

I begin to hear voices again, and I can't  seem to concentrate.

But...

Relax-it won't hurt.

But...

Loving you is really hard!

But..

Hey mom, I'm sorry if my blood stained your favorite carpet.

But..

I'm hanging out in the garage. Literally!

But.

P.S I'm really sorry

I picture you,
     Going to the bathroom,
You locked the door,
     *Took a blade,
Deciding there is no way back.
Now,
All i can see is red,
And your empty face,
       That only yesterday
                   was full with grace.


I can hear the screams
         Of your parents,
My own scream,
    When they told me that
You are gone.
I can hear the voices in your head.
I want it to stop.
I want to stop crying.
I want to stop crying.
I want to stop crying.
I want to stop replaying all these moments in my head,
Again and
Again
And again.*
Please stop this movie!
Stop it.. stop it!
Please! ,
Before i, on my own will break.
I miss you.
I want you to come back.
Please come back.


I need you.

I saw you today,
And i hugged you,
And for a minute
Everything  
           was
                 o
                  k
                       a
                          y.