I was the best in the world.
And knowing that made me arrogant.
Made me think I was untouchable.
But in reality,
I'm just like everyone else.
Just did a little bit more, a little bit differently is all...

she told me that I am nothing
by her actions she said there's just something
about you that just flat out disgusts me
and truthfully it's not worth discussing
so for now to her I am nothing

why
what have I done wrong?
waiting cause I haven't heard your voice in so long
still got your number but afraid to dial
cause I've been harboring anxiety and pain for a while

I hate this
why can't it be normal?
but what really is normal?
I said this to you
in my head

but I'll sooner be dead
than say it to you instead
a sad truth that lies with me in my bed
I guess I really am nothing...

What is the matter with you?

                                                           ­    I'm Angry...

What for?

                                                       That these kinds of people exist...
                                                       And how much they've taken from me

there is a simple solution to that...

                                                        ­

...Take it back

It was forced upon me

I made a move

A subtle one

But I knew

That it would lead me to my end

I can still feel it

The point of impact

The deadly deafening sound

In that instance

It all played in reverse

The moment...
The thoughts...
The regret...
The lament...

It was my second death
I wonder if I will live to see my third...

In a time...

Where...

Death & Poison are all we know

The tempest from the tower begins to blow
And the flag's true colors begin to show

Vehement...Neglect
Seeing less...Respect

No one in the tower wants to meet their mess
...and reflect

Who among you...
has the courage...
to light the torch of unity with hope's flint

And pass down the embers
to all those who cannot reach

You say it just cause
You don't want to make me feel bad
Or whatever...
I don't know what to think
My hopeless heart will sink

Deep depression...
Sleep obsession...
Anything to get away from the pain
Pill pop, heart stop, will make you...
feel again...

The agony
The elation

The tragedy
The temptation

Sad that he
is medicating

Because she
had to hate him

take the jump
take the jump
To a New World
A new life
You would rather
Spend a second there
Than an eternity here

take the jump...
take the jump...

Wake up
Look into the Portal
It beckons
It exclaims that it desires your presence
They don't want you
They won't mind if you leave
AND NEVER COME BACK

So...

TAKE THE JUMP
TAKE THE JUMP

This is it
my final days

the scattered thoughts
the potential for nothing
gone

is there a release on the other side
possibly not
it is sad that this is all it is
something less than exciting
less than depressing

where will i go
somewhere different
definitely
somewhere better
not necessarily

i hope that
others see this
and feel at ease
knowing that this is it

I sit in the chair
The Doctor looks at me
She says nothing...
She injects the serum into my brain

I can hear them
I can smell them
I can see them

The memories leaking out
I hope they weren't important
The Doctor sings the lullaby into my ear
I wake up...

I've seen what could be

And what nothing is

I know what it is like

To be in the center of the void

Also

Outside of it all...

I appear in the wasteland
the sage stands before me

In its most approachable & unassuming form

It looks at me
it says...

If it is freedom you seek,
then it is truth that you lack...

I feel empty...

I am crushed by the mace of lament

Everything goes black
I feel the fragments of myself magnetizing and molding itself anew

I am whole again...

I lay here
Anxiously awaiting my second death
My Final Enlightenment...

Hide...or
They will find you
They will make you
The New One
Grotesque grim creatures

Void & Hollow
A pathetically apathetic vessel
Zombified, hideous
Immortalized & mortified by the pity that they get from this

...

There is one
but...this one
is different from the rest
It sees
It tells

And we become
The New One

When The Alarm sounds...

There is a change

Each key marks the manipulation of the strings

The extraordinary
Supernatural
Otherworldly ensemble

The very sound shifts his being to his core
His essence molded by the penetratingly profound medley

The Alarm calls...
Whispers...
Then extends

NO
don't touch me
don't take it from me
I'm saving it for someone

I shut my ears
I abhor the alarm...

Who knew?  
A flying space section  
Prying sake eyeing make iron eight *****  
For takin protection  
Or faking affection  
What's next son  
You lately been stressing  
Life moves fast  
Compared to your slow ***  
Pass gas in the waiting room  
I'm convinced you're angry dude  
Just look at you  
The way you been moving  
Is like a ****** toon  
Vibin to friday night groovy tunes  
  
And now we seeking out a better way of life  
That isnt so filled with strife but  
It aint so easy to find cuz  
Freedom acts lazy casts  
Powers stack crazy traps  
The only way you gettin out alive  
Is through that baby hatch  
  
Quit playing, you not staying  
You sound insane I'm not praying  
Just out playing with myself  
Sounds wrong I know  
But that's just how it goes  
In a world of chaos we can only hope  
To grow and find flows  
Define lows how bad they get?  
Mad you lost cant get a grip  
Lose face faster than losing chips  
Loser ****  
Lose your **** only to find salvation after a years past  
No cash no *** but a new perspective to give back  
That's  
The value  
  
Think your lit now?  
You barely even scratched the surface  
Who scarcely meets his past to see when last he's reached his epidermis  
A blast these epic words is  
A spazz this tepid nerd is  
Elastic sandblasted leather  
Back to whichever shirt is  
At last he's given assurance  
To the most important vessel  
In a game of life and death  
It's war in every bevel  
Secular heavy metal  
Succulent messy melons  
***** to be deadbeat fellows  
Well now we best get on with  
More to reflect on later  
Or be to slept on save your  
Time for another message

She loves me
Broken manner
Wistful planner
Hoping there's a different outlook for missing dappers
Doubtful touting of lasting effects
Dumb luck
A buff in missing info
With stuff that hit your kin folk
Of course
Many years ago they use to just shoot you
Or really just abuse you
For the sake of making fruitful music
Unabashed muffled trash succotash
Suckin *** or any of thirty Playin ***** got your head hurting
Weak flex to see next In a week you be seein texts
Once again the one guy that can change things hedges his bets
Or rather doesnt take stance
You're better off getting your news from hollywood plants
That's just the way it all goes
Every goon in town is now aimin at your nose
I got one last message to say to all you clowns \
I'll never let a bird get the best of flicking turds
And now we confused by the way it looks
It's rare we find a happy medium and either way we're cooked
The art of crafting hypersonic aircrafts I wrote the book
The first two lines into the preface
You're already hooked