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Dougie Simps Sep 2015
Let me tell you about myself...
I'm not scared to die.
I'm afraid of touching an angel
her purity makes me terrified.
So many times I've told a lie..
just to roll through and get by
hardest part about myself
is that I'm myself and don't understand why.
Seen mama had to cry,
my sisters didn't understand..
my brother needed guidance,
I couldn't demonstrate the good inside a man.
Haunted by a name...which is dull and hella bland
can you show me where peace is?
Can you show me the plan?
lord why don't you hear me?
grab control and steer me...
stop bringing me these women,
who are broken and need healing
who need a good soul
need that good feeling
who's beautiful evil eyes
are captivating and appealing.
can't hold on anymore
grip is coming loose
but if I fall, I win
just because you fall doesn't mean you lose.
hmm
I'm battling these emotions,
sent my heart out into the ocean
thought love would come easy
never knew it was so much devotion
all this commotion!
"please, can you calm down."
why are telling me I'm wrong?
when you came screaming in the house

I'm lost,
I'm spun out
I'm dizzy
I'm all out
I just wanted to know you
your inability to see is tough
you'd rather be kicked when you're down
you don't want a good man to pick you up
so I'll let you go now...
go ahead and be free...


what am I doing wrong...
why don't they ever stay...
what's wrong with the person inside of me...
nothing.
Cause it's not always me.

FML.
yea
Dougie Simps Sep 2015
Don't play with her emotions,
Don't tell her it's all in devotion.
Gave her all to someone
Only to lose out on something
What is she becoming?
Girl, girl, girl...
Don't let him change you.
Abuse and derrange you.
Has someone told you "you're beautiful?"
Has someone held you this way?
Best part of the night is when you decide to stay...lay with me.
Kiss me slow
I promise to always, let you know that...
It's easy to pretend..
Harder to allow your heart to be sent.
Cause it's over worked from the past time it spent
Waiting on something,
Wishing on nothing.
Sorry, girl. I'm just making these assumptions.
Cause your smile is perfect but I can see pain
And your eyes shine bright but the forecast before only predicted rain.
And your mind seems clear but at times I can see the clouds...
So much change that she just wants to experience something that will stay around.
Oh oh yeah,
I promise to stay around.
Can you just let me in, oh
Let me hear the sound...
Of your heartbeat for me
As we motion like the sea
I need to complete me.
I promise I promise
Oh baby
Yeah,
I promise I promise
I promise I promise
He was cruel and dishonest
The only time I'll lie is if it's in the bed right next to you.
The only surprises you'll get is all your dreams slowly coming true
Oh oh
I just wanna give it all to you.
Oh oh
Can you please let me show you.
As we sit with the birds,
You're kissing me slow,
Let me slowly increase your life
Let's let the past thing all go.

Hmm

Baby, I just want you to know.

Give me some time and let it show.
Quick late night (slight writers block) rnb style flow
Dougie Simps Sep 2015
mhm it's 6 am...
I drank too much
opened the door...
who could it be?
I see two...it's my lady
"how could you? can you see?"
"what's wrong with you!?"
Mh, Maybe it's me? or
maybe it's her?
drunk on the floor as I try to reoccur
all of her words...
all of her...
baby I wuv...you..****, my words are slurred
she says "I'm done!"
I said "Just wait!!"
this instability is what you create!
you hurt me and desert me!
why don't we touch!?
I come home...all you say is "Lunch!"
I know I'm wrong...I drink too much.
I'm sorry, if I forgot to say...
"Baby, you look gorgeous today."
Time has changed all my usual ways
I don't think...you'll like what I'm about to say.

I go out and like to sit down
grab a beer and talk to a crowd
of different women, with different missions
some are divorced, the others are still making decisions
I enjoy to hear their stories, see if I can relate
I then ask myself..."How can love turn so quickly into hate?"
I know you feel the same, don't look at me in shame!
I saw you go out the other night with your "girls"
but you were really with whatever his name!
"no I wasn't"
Now wait, I'm not done!
you know that holding on is just no fun.
we've grown apart over the years, baby... let's just go and move on...
do right by ourselves and even more by our son.
Love isn't a game...and if it was we both forgot how to play..
I'll always have a place for you in my heart, no matter what. That's all I'm trying to say.

I..."NO! It's my turn to speak! First off that was my Co-worker! and his name was steve, you met him and his wife! and don't you dare say another thing!
You've been cheating for years and hurting EVERYTHING!
In college you were the best thing that heaven could bring! now all you do is leave me hanging by a string. I wait with the kids as you go and get lit...you kiss the shot glass more than you kiss me. You tell all your jokes to these girls you've never met...After the baby, I don't know the last time we had ***! You come home and just stare, pretend like you're there... the kids barely know who you are and I don't think you could care. You hurt and you rip! It's been seven years...you walk right on past me as I shed all these tears. I pray everyday that you will one day look my way... that you'll stop hurting me so much and change your dark ways. I must be a fool...to think I'd change you by force...well I'm done I'M DONE....***, I WANT...A...divorce (she starts to cry) hmm babe I need to let you go, I need to take our kids and grow...hmm I just need you to know that I always knew...Now please let me be mhmm just promise, PROMISE, PROMISEEE....that you'll let me be free."


I...****. I came home baby, this just got so crazy. I remember all those days calling you my lady...
I thought I was in control and realized I was wrong...this liquid confidence gave me the idea that it would be good if you were gone...
I know I was wrong
can I...
can I...
maybe it's too late to explain...
Divorce seems to be the only way to free us from these miserable chains.
I wanna say I'm sorry...But a cheater never truly changes, nor wins.
I beg for forgiveness and hope god will let me in.
Crazy how love starts so fast and hits so quick...
If you were to ask me then where'd I be seven years later...
I wouldn't ever imagined this.


I'm sorry. I only wish for one last kiss..
I also hope you meet someone who sees, sees all I missed.

(Give me the paper, I'll sign this)

No family pick-nicks, no "good morning baby", no "Good morning" to my kids...just days and days of deep remorse...I guess this what it all means...this is the pain...this is...

He stops writing this letter.

This is Divorce.
That's Real Life...(inspired by you.)
Dougie Simps Sep 2015
My heart has always beat silence...
feels being alone is its only love,
my mind thinks affection is violence...
her hands hurt me with every touch, mh
that's real life, honest truth
our bond has our souls shattered,
she's tearing out her roots
Cause that's real life, evil spews
of something that blinds the eyes
and puts venom inside of you...
cause baby, that's real life.
oh, real life...
I'm incapable of such decisions,
I can't commit to your body,
she hits so precise, with deadly precision...
but I can't get that feeling...from anybody...
and that's real life...mhmm
oh, baby that's real life,
she feels the forced strain,
that's me pushing you away,
every woman that's ever loved me,
has slowly endured that pain,
the lost of breath, until nothings left
the traveling tears, sinking for years
being left out...in the cold rain..
oh baby, that's real life
that's me girl, mh
that's real life...
no forgiveness, no emotions...
just your heart trapped in a bottle,
swimming in my disastrous ocean
commotion, your lip stick
your heartbeat is skipping
I'm twisted, drunk in love...

oh, that's real life...mhh...
yeah, real life...
I can't...I won't...
oh, I don't...mhh
know how to change!
and that's real life (echoing)
mh, what am I to do?
cause the reality is...

She's the one that said "I can't commit to you."

oh, and that's real life...(echoes fading out)
See what I did there? he can't love because the other one he thought he loved wouldn't love him and he is saying he can't commit now to his new girl...cool right? and that's real life.
Dougie Simps Aug 2015
She lost her mind, only to find her heart.
She isn't crazy, she's just different.
She's no longer blind, now she sees everything that's in front of her.
She knows where she's going.
A man once deemed her "weak", only to not realize how powerful she really was.
How unstoppable she's become...how invincible she will be.
Strong enough to pick up the broken pieces, smart enough to know what she deserves and crazy enough to take on the world...with or without anyone by her side.
Never test a broken hearted woman, never underestimate her strength.
Dougie Simps Aug 2015
It's been 26 years and I'm finally letting out these held back tears
Of confessing to my family and friends of all my hidden fears
Another beer..a lack of drive cause I'm too drunk to ******* steer...the end feels near but I wanna be better than what ya see...who I appear
100 friends yet, they never call and call only when it's a need
I ******* bleed to please all of what ya need! But is it me? Of course it's me... I'm a monster who can't control his emotions that's why my 5 yr love decided to flea. Do I care? Will they always be there? Why do I repeat this *******...is life truly fair?
Fake success...maybe dress to impress...care a lil less and show your ignorant heart with your hollow chest! You can't impress people who already saw you at your best.
You're a poet, hell of a writer with the ambition to change the world! Yet your dark heart has made it impossible for you to remain with any girl...your mind twirls...your soul spins...gain a loss, forget a win...maybe it's time for you to finally look at yourself from within. Where have you been? Have you ever been honest? You can't escape this quick sand! TELL EM YOUR TRUTH! "Hi, my name is Bland" TELL EM YOUR WEAKNESS! I look in the mirror and it's ME i can't stand! "TELL EM MORE! AND DONT LIE!"...I tried and and continue deny. I'm a selfish individual who can't see things for what's right, so I pray selfishly to have "God" listen only to make everyone I ever spoken to a victim of my mission to do whatever the **** I want without permission...(I can't do this anymore!) FINISH! Okay! I'm not okay...I draw picture in my head, of a bed...of dirt and roses that say my name where I lay cause I have more issues than CNN and never know when the right time is to vent, cause I'm a self centered person who could honestly careless...and if it was your life I would probably Payless for me to no longer feel stress and sell you for me to come out best and invest in money power and false respect...I'd sell your soul for myself...I need help ******, .IM SORRY! Please make me stop... NO! YOU HAVE A LIL MORE TO SAY...okay! One day I woke up and told myself I may have nothing left to say and I can't stand the way how most people speak to me and the stupid **** they say so I pretend to listen and care but really I stare and am no longer there and I treat people like **** and use anger as a protectant so that no one can get close...my temper...please they won't dare...but I'm a little boy inside who is terrified and sacred and have no idea how to sleep peacefully because I'm addicted to the nightmares and I sit next to family in an attempt to fit in meanwhile look at my ******* skin...bottom line is, I'm nothing like these people from texture to within...I love to sin and I haven't meditated more than 15 minutes...I just say this **** so ya leave me alone and pretend to think I'm a good person and did it. Now I'm alone and possible insane! TELL EM BLAND! Idk what's wrong with my brain...I can't escape my mental cage...I feed off the world's rage and hate people who change. But I will change! Give me a chance, devil! Let me try to grow? You know what's best for me or you're a master of this manipulation? How do you know? Just let me feel something and be better than what itvm is...my past...let me seek the potential of being better than my dad. I'm not afraid! STF... NO! I'm not done talking, walking and following what it is I'm finally becoming! No longer running! As the alarm goes off and tells me to wake up and make up for my past and grow and feel the sun to warm my "cold heart" and see life for all its beauty, love in the air...seeing how a good thing last. I'm not afraid of your spew and all you do! And you trying to take your pitch fork and stick me of all the evil that resides in you! And yet, I will be something more of what I never knew id ever be! WHO THE ******* THINK YOU TALKING T... nobody, for once I'm talking to me Speaking to you as I continue and find what it is I can finally reach! Honesty, family, friends, love and myself...with everything else I always wanted to be! as I finally open my eyes and see...me.
I've kept a lot this a secret and had no idea it would finally come out for me to share...
No ones perfect...I just hope this doesn't change your perception of me...I truly changed...please...I need ya there.
Power comes from share what hurts your heart
Dougie Simps Jul 2015
what* have we done?
where is your heart?
who are you?
when did this happen?
how will I move on...
why we did we do this?
the main questions to any untold story
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