Nobody tells you,
“don’t fall in love with just anyone yet”
because if you fall out of love once,
you’ll fall out once again,
a couple times more,
and perhaps keep falling in and out
over and over,

they advice you to not dive in too deep,
because it hurts to get out once you’re in,
but they don't say don’t dive in
just because you can,
that you shouldn’t just give your lover
tests to prove their love for you,
but that you must test your own love,
see if you can prove your love
to yourself,
after all how can you be sure of
loving someone
when you can’t love the person
your heart beats within?

gold in your hair,
denim on floor,
mistakes in bed,
bathing in each
other’s cologne,
i trace the freckles
on your back,
no more time to
talk, time has
hopped on a Cadillac,
purple becomes
my new skin tone,
one seal breaks
and now im in the
lost virtues zone,
my name becomes
your only vocab,
shortly after
I had it unwrap.

when the possibilities become infinite,
so are the lessons that come along,
every experience suddenly has more to it,
boundaries have a different meaning,
you get to dip your finger into the unknown,
taste it, heck even jump in it,
and once you settle back home,
your mind wanders to all the places
whose background you perfectly merged into,
you can shut the thoughts out,
but you can't build a wall,
the blinds are always open,
nothing is definite.

the first time
our lips met
didn't feel foreign,
it was as if
you were my home
country
and I had only just
entered your land,
then took a taste of the berry tree
which my greatest grandma had grew,
in either ways;
she would be
******.

I've been loving
the colour blue lately,
maybe a little too much,
because that's what I feel too.

when your own name starts to feel foreign,
and when the memories haunt you shortly after they’re made,
when you can’t convince yourself to feel something you would’ve easily felt a year ago,
when you can’t put the pieces together of how you ended up here,
in a state that’s not dissonance, not stability and not oblivion..