You held me in your loving arms as i wept
So sure i had found my way home after my long journey in through frozen land.

Now i'm turning to ash because i stubbornly refused to see that the warmth i thought i needed had left me on fire.
Then you threw me in a coffin,
Nailed it shut with your grin and covered it with the dirt of your promises.

Do you remember way back when?

I still remember the hotel room where I sat.
Fleeing the hand that gripped you.
I gave you words,
they were inadequate. Couldn't admit that I
abandoned you.
My fear grew, ever stronger. My delusion cast about me, a blanket to my conscious mind.

Remember further back when we were all smiles, blind to reality?
I sat with eyes closed for awhile. As if days don't turn to months to years.
Except, I forgot it ends like this.
Blue veins, cracked upon a pale surface.

That's me.

Seeing me.

And you.

For what you are.

For the first time.

she's got a broken smile
for a broken heart
she likes to hope
her brokenness
is a work of art
lost in herself
she cannot breathe
around him, around her.
too many people
who aren't falling apart.
a broken smile
with a broken heart
her father says
she's a work of art

other people see
plain old brown eyes
but I see galaxies

Take me.​
Take me to your sanctuary.​
Far from society.​
Far from humanity.​
​
All alone.​
With our soul connection.​
Lay with me in the midst of our love and affection.

When you have a toothache,
The dentist pulls it.
When you have a stomachache,
The doctor eases it.
When you have a headache,
Medicine soothes it.
When you have a backache,
The chiropractor fixes it.

So why is it...

There is no dentist, or doctor,
There is no medicine or chiropractor,
To heal this heartache?

My body shakes
My body aches
I have nothing left to give
I gave my life away
So she could stay
Just one more day
Every cry
The tear that seeps from my eyes
My heart beat slows
My skin no longer glows
My skin is pale
My body is frail
Breaking at the smallest touch
My hair used to be long
Now it's all gone
Long blonde hair
No longer there
Once smooth welcoming skin
Now dry unwelcoming and thin
I'm dying inside
But I stay for her
Not much more energy
Left inside me
I was living just for her
The love of my life now cries at night
Because I couldn't hold on anymore
Now I'm at peace
Died and just slipped away
I just couldn't stay

As I look back at old words I wrote, waiting for things to download, I shiver. Remembering things that occurred and how I once felt, I feel bigger. Not so bitter, like I had felt before... because now I'm more aware of who I am. I'm no longer surrounded by ridiculousness. I can't lie, that's a big part of this. The change in my environment has helped a lot. I can breathe here without always having to look behind me, and I can't describe how great of a feeling that is. I can only hope you'll understand it. I wouldn't wish my old life on anyone. Not even the ones who caused me so much pain. It's all in the past now anyways...