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Dahlya Apr 2018
The night he took my innocence.
Was the night everything changed.
His shirt had been my favorite color,
A color that I can no longer bare to see.
His laugh,
So pure and happy,
Now haunts my every dream.
Those big blue eyes,
I had once looked at in awe,
Instill a new kind of fear in me,
Each time I see his eyes,
In a new friendly face.
The smell of his cologne,
I had loved so much
Is now revolting.
I was so naïve,
Young and trusting,
And he stole the small amount of innocence,
That I had left.
I will never trust again,
And I will always look behind me,
Fearing who may be there.
They told me it was my fault,
I should have listened,
To what I’d always been taught.
Cover up before you go out,
Don’t accept drinks from strangers,
Stay close to your friends.
But in the moment,
It all seemed right.
He was kind,
His eyes were warm,
And he paid attention to my every word,
Making me feel special,
A feeling that I wasn’t used to.
So like a child,
I trusted his charm.
I would give anything,
To take back my innocence,
To go back and try again.
To cover up,
To make my own drinks,
To stay close to my friends.
But I didn’t,
And I will never get back,
What I left in his bed.
I will keep the memory,
And the paralyzing fear,
Until I become stronger.
Strong enough to realize,
That It wasn’t my fault,
That there was nothing I could’ve done,
And that he was the only one that could’ve stopped it.
The night that ruined my life,
Was all in a stranger’s hands,
In his charming words,
And his breaking touch.
One day I will have the satisfaction of knowing,
That despite his efforts,
He didn’t ruin me,
I survived.
Trigger warning
  Apr 2018 Dahlya
Drifter
I'm a lot gayer than originally planned.
*******. Gay.
But I'm worried about the concept;
not sure if it's right to use the word
“gay”
when (I'm sorry I said it)
I'm really bisexual,
just particularly into women right now.
Like,
is that bad representation
of my sexuality?
Only encouraging
bi-erasure?
It just doesn't have the same
“umph”
to say
I'm feeling particularly
bisexual today.
But I've been telling myself
over and over
that it's okay,
no matter what
I'm feeling today.
I don't
need
your
box

anymore.
A reflection of my inner turbulence when I was still wrapped up in how I should identify myself in the LGBTQ+ community...worried way too much about it.  For clarification, I choose not to have a label. I have been in love with men, women, and people in between, and I'm okay with that.
Dahlya Jan 2018
Her hands are always cold
To match her heart
As she wakes up each morning
to put on a mask.
She sees all the colors
The world has to offer
But only shows black and white
To keep the spectators wondering.
She knows how to layer
Because it’s cold outside
And she can’t let it in.
Her eyes are clueless
Because life feels new
And the fear of the unknown
Creates her limit.
Dahlya Dec 2017
New hands smoothly grazing
Where yours once were
Finally the feeling
Of a fresh start
And the sound
Of a brand new laugh
That makes my heart skip
In a different way
Than I felt before
With the adrenaline rush
And wine stained
Chapped lips
Came a warm feeling
And a new comfort
Intertwined on the couch
And white smoke
As I fell into her smile
With my head in the clouds
And arms wrapped around me
A safe new home
Precious and untainted
By old memories
Dahlya Nov 2017
A blue dress
Stained with tears
Dancing slowly
In the moon light
Bare foot and free
Breathing deeply
As the pain sinks in
A memory falls
In a fleeting moment
And fades to blue
Dahlya Nov 2017
Here
In the physical sense
But quite some time
Has passed
Since you’ve been
Present
Dahlya Nov 2017
A sharp knife
Aimed at nothing
But translucent skin
Staring deeply
At a shimmering mirror
Smeared lightly
By tiny photographs
And emerald squares
In the moonlight
A slight flinch
And unholy sounds
Of desperate cold screams
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