As the emptiness cloaks you in robes of loneliness and you sit in the dark, rocking back and forth to the beat of your own heart, its rhythm filling your ears like a distant midnight train clattering over tracks of pain, do you pray to your God ?
Sobbing out tears that shudder through your core as you stare out of the window into some distant world, memories coiling themselves around your soul like the spirit of some ancient snake, is it then that you pray to your God ?

What is the last poem that I will ever read?
Make it amazing, so I can sleep.

Give me a mountain, give me a stream,
Give me the sky, drop me in dream.

Do I see the Raven or To Whom the Bell Tolls?
The House of the Seven Gables seen as it falls.

If there is any heavens by e.e. Cummings,
Listen very closely, the angels are humming

I feel my final breathes, leaving my soul.
The final poem that read was one of my own.

I watch a moment more -
the hands they turn, and rise.
I know not - what to expect
With each exhaling breath.

The hands, again they move -
not together, but with each other.
A syncronised harmony -
both moving, changing blissfully.

I'd look away, but I daren't not
I stare amazed, awaiting -
trying to catch or freeze I know not -
The tick-tock of that enormous clock.

If my heart has grown cold
There Your love will unfold
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
When I’m blind to my way
There Your Spirit will pray
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand


Oceans will part nations come
At the whisper of Your call
Hope will rise glory shown
In my life Your will be done


Present suffering may pass
Lord Your mercy will last
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
And my heart will find praise
I’ll delight in Your way
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

Those endorphic nights,
wrapped like snakes,
Shared blood in one soul,
we made our promise, carved it in stone,
now it just cuts me down to the bone.

Played our end game, created the path,
‘mongst the spirits, grasping rain,
midnight tears so cold and alone,
It will always cut me down to the bone.


© H V Swan

Blasphemous rumors
spread so thin,
create false hopes
and temptation within.

Infectious blisters
bursting with ****.
Scraping the bubble,
Tension is must.

Finding the lies,
that give us no hope.
Stand very tall,
cut down that rope.

Breathing again,
feeling alive.
No downward spiral,
not going to die.

I write with my pen,
sometimes I just do it.
Writing my muse,
Just call me a poet.

Last night I dreamt I committed suicide;
and it wasn't beautiful or poetic
it simply was yet another death.
I felt boneless and dizzy as I awoke on the dawn
of yet another day.
The sun shone through cracks in my window but
relief never came of not having that dream real.

Last night I forgot to sleep, I forgot to feel;
and I didn't toss around my bed but laid
as a corpse does in his casket.
I felt numb and yet somehow disappointed
of not having someone to scare away this beast.
This beast that clings to my body like a second skin,
this beast which eats away my sun,
this beast that grows with the ennui of life,
this beast which spits on raw wounds of my flesh.
It keeps me caged,keeps me inside,
belittling me and snickering just when I have managed
to get a foot out the door-
so I step back in and close it firmly shut.

Last night I prayed to anyone who would listen
and it was poignant and pathetic because
I awoke to another bright day of laughter from my peers
and I could do nothing but stare from a faraway place
with white noise stuck in my head.

You ripped my soul out
You ripped it clean
Inserted a demon
That *******, FIEND!

You released the evil
You released it whole
Fighting against it
I can't win this war

Why did you do it?
Why did you let go?
I buried the hatchet
Now I am digging the hole

Burning with rage
Burning with fear
It was locked away forever
Now forcibly here

Just leave me alone
Just leave me so free
I was standing so proud
Now fetal with need

You did this to me
You would do it again
Releasing this hell
No mind or no brain!!