I'm not the prettiest girl
I don't wear the best clothes
I don't havr perfect teeth
Or perfect vision
I don't have a big ****
Or the perfect waist for you to hold
Or the perfect lips for you to kiss
But I do have a heart to love

I remember the first day,  I walked into class,
At seven years old saying "This will be a blast!"

The classroom was full, the bell did ring
Lessons being taught, so it begins

Recess starts, the teams are split
Standing alone, the last one picked

Slowly it starts, as laughter and fun
but deep inside, I am seeing no sun

The nicknames had started, not laughing inside
but what did I do, starting to cry

Never belonging or being accepted
being myself, I felt dissected

From 2nd to 3rd and up into 8th grade
the bullies got worse, fearing into fade

Freshman to Senior, I thought I was stronger
Hitting my point, it started to boil over

It was one little word that threw me over the edge
Couldn't take it no more, all that was said

I stood up to the bully, on that great day,
all was released, feeling no shame

But it doesn't stop there, the torment goes on
At night, I dont sleep, I just sing a song

That song never ends, forever on that round
it never skips a beat, listen to the sound

Decades goes on, never forgetting the names
What has happened to me? Am I going insane?

These are the first names that tortured my young soul
Always in my mind, but never letting go

So Danny, Robert, Terry and Andy
You are not very special or very well dandy!

Oh Michael and Chuck and Bill, I remember
stand up to call, hell is your number

Chris, Steven, and even Brad
Life's but a mystery,  so why are you so sad

I tried to forgive you deep in my heart
Why did you bully me? TEARING MY WORLD APART!!

Watch him twist, watch him squirm,
Watch him catch the early worm,
See him writhe, see him turn,
He’ll take your soul,
then watch it burn.


© H V Swan

Searching for you but your never around,
looking for release but it's not easily found,
bottles all empty,  I’m running on air,
smoke after smoke, my lungs want to tear,
need some kind of redemption,  it’s time to leave,
make a fresh start some sort of reprieve,
but everywhere I look is just a chapter in a book,
and as each page gets turned another bridge is burned.


© H V Swan

Facing each day or facing my debts
What do I see? But Russian Roulette

Cold steel in my hand and brass on the cover
loading one up, I drop the five other

Placing the barrel next to my skull
closing my eyes, feeling more dull

Pulling it back, the trigger with force
hearing a click, thinking what's more

One more time, the intensity deepens
Do I live or die? My plot thickens

Third times a charm, so I've been told
The click is once more, but nothing, BEHOLD!

Four now five, still nothing but blank
what's going on, its stealing my fate

This is the one, the final shot
squeezing that trigger, I am dead on the spot.

Where did it start but by one little cry,
one mother's love, one day she will die

Trees grace the land, the water at peace
Visually astounding, pleasant at ease

The lake was open for summer time fun
Camp Crystal Lake where it begun

A boy and his mother greeted each soul,
welcome my friends enjoy it all.

The torment started, it lasted all season,
they beheaded his mother for all the wrong reasons

Emboldened with fury, deep in the lake
drowned by cowards, feeling no shame

Each year they returned, hearing stories of the camp
the man in the mask, machete in hand

Not believing the myth, what shadows do lurk
no hearts will be pounding, only their blood will spurt

Pre-marital *** upstairs in the cabin
rolling blunts on couch, look out, he's coming

Naked in the shower, Alice did fall,
ice pick in hand, no scream or no crawl

Squeezing your eyes out or smashing your face
Ask all of the counselors at Camp Crystal Lake

One hundred and fifty more victims will fall
This is my place, you are not welcome at all

Mother, I love you, through all of the pain
Hide behind my mask, my machete does reign.

Black soon white,
Here now then,
Appearing so deeply
that evil grin

Soulless blank face,
with a hard piercing gaze,
I am grinding deeper
inside of this maze

No solitude, no fortune
no looking back
Where do I turn
I have no more track

A sliver of hope
or dash of my dream,
falling in ashes
In coma I scream

Trapped in emotion,
No escape that I see
drowning in sorrow,
Make me believe

Twisted thoughts of illusion
hold on to the last
I melting away
No future no past

Twisted inside
demented in dreams,
I fear the demons
that make me scream.

The nightmare, the pain,
the evil inside
No tears, all fears
All night do I cry.

Come darkness no light
cursing my soul
nowhere do I turn
I run and I crawl

No escape from this place
Inside of this hell
Pounding and pounding
Stop ringing the bell

© Silent Screams

My monsters crushed me
with their unsuspecting weight
hidden deep within the sadness
of my ever changing eyes
I wouldn’t expect most to understand
this constant, pressing heat
that has the power to take away
the beauty of a morning sunrise
But to be alone was what i knew
with secrets i was dying to say
with my burning heart desperate
for you to knee **** me back
to clear skies and brighter mornings
where i'll sing softly to myself
not wanting to speak my thoughts
to another soul, but you.
This perception might be distorted
by feelings and ‘the word’
that has not yet crossed our lips
as if its some sacred creed.
But i am a desperate writer
as many of us are, just
trying to convey thoughts
of a particularly long night,
where all i really want,
is to be next to you.