I
I know that I am not important to you at all
I'm just the girl who's there
and I know that you will forget me possibly after this year or the next
and I also know that you will never like me--
because I'm over dramatic and boring and depressing as hell
and I'm not beautiful or even remotely pretty
and because you are simply too good for me
II.
but
before you forget me
and before you completely underestimate my importance in your life
before you forget the name of the girl that's just there
before you tell her yes
before you leave
III.*
Please know that I think that you are beautiful with sun-kissed skin and dark brown eyes that will forever orbit my mind
Please know that everything about you is perfect in a not-so-perfect way and that even though I hate that you cut your hair it still looks as soft as ever
also
know that you are probably the reason I don't actually study in study hall
and that all those times I asked for help I actually already know the math
remember Madison Square Park?
When I said goodbye and you told me not to leave,
well I stayed up all night wondering what you meant by *don't go
most importantly--
Please know that I love you
I am okay with you forgetting the girl that sat in the last row in class
and I'm okay with you never loving me--because to be honest, I don't blame you
and I am okay with you completely underestimating my existence
but I am not okay and will never be okay if you do not remember that you are perfect in a not-so-perfect way and that you are beautiful; with sun-kissed skin and dark brown eyes that will forever orbit my mind
and even though you will never read this
I'll make sure of it
I only have one more thing to say
*don't go

I am the entourage
Of a fantastic mirage

I am the agent
Of my mind's figment

I am a believer
Of mythical creatures

I am a builder
Of splendid architecture

I am a drunkard
Tripping on futures so absurd

I plan construction
Of my own destruction

I am the feeder
To dreams of grandeur

I am a magician
Of wild, potent concoctions

I am a tycoon
Of emotional typhoons

I am an adept
Skilled in exploiting concepts

I am a parasite
Brandishing fangs that bite

I play host
To a monstrous, hideous ghost

I am an addict
Of thoughts derelict

I am the dreamer
Incapable of anything lesser

I am a diver
Sinking deeper and deeper

I am an insatiable thief
Claiming trophies without grief

I am an emotional hermit
Hoarding my all in a bottomless pit

I am a weaver
Fabricating tales that meander

I am a Neanderthal
Adopting behaviours and habits that appall

I am an ape
Mending wounds that gape

I am but me
I'm blind, fighting to see

I am rhymesmith
I lie through my teeth
Getting hard to breathe
Heart to words, I seethe...

Don't Let Go

We listen to the evening news
Hear things we can't believe
Get up and change the channel
And pretend we didn't see

The events unfold around us
And we lock ourselves inside
Thinking that behind closed doors
It won't effect our lives

We watch as others struggle
And turn the other way
Tell ourselves someone else
Will come and save the day

Just when did we stop caring
No longer lend a hand
Forget to show compassion
The love for fellow man

What happened to forgiveness
Where did the pride of giving go
We must find a way to turn back time
And make sure we don't let go

Don't Let Go

Carl Joseph Roberts

~

Love!               vs              Love?

I love you!                      I love you?
It's true, I do!                 It's true, I do
Wonder why?              Wonder why;
You love me too!          You love me too?
~

Say hello to

The world of yesterday
and to those who
helped to pave the way

What we go through
is never meant to last
as we must surrender
to what is past is past

Say hello to

Those in history
as we elude to
soon to be you and me

Can't help but think
that is oh so wrong
but where we'll all soon be
is what is gone is gone

Say goodbye to

Those of yesterday
have we all been lied to
on how they spent their day

Is no one left here
who holds those memories
making it so clear
to the likes of you and me

Say goodbye to*

Those in history
as they drop from dying limbs
on mans family tree

*They've had their fun
now it's time to move along
let the rest of us sing
our own dirge in song

This one is for the bullies.
This one is for the cruel.
Try harder.
Because these walls were made with the intent
of keeping you out and instead
kept out the rescue party.
Too many are the tears which we have shed
over being too fat or too thin
or any other of these thousands of things within us
that define us as imperfect.
This one is for those that kicked us while we were down,
for the class clown addicted to our embarrasment,
to the flicked pencil that hits our back as we pass them.

If you've ever felt scorn,
if you've ever felt torn between the greatest two evils,
if you've ever as a kid felt that primeval urge of fight or flight
or spent a night crying over your bathroom sink,
It's okay.
I'm not saying that as if I could ever
make you feel as if that pain living inside of you
will abstain from your mind.

I'm saying that you aren't alone.
Simply let it be known how you feel
and you will real impressed
by how many others have felt the same.

This is one is for the playground bruiser, try harder.
This is for the girl writing '****' on her locker, try harder.
This is for those that will always insist
on testing the waters of an uncalm mind,
TRY HARDER.
Because it's never been an issue
of being smarter or stronger.
It's been about you holding on this extra while longer,
long enough that you can put all this behind you.
For all the gossips who acted like they knew you, try harder!

Because this time they are not getting through.
Concede to them nothing,
abandon no friend or creed,
let not their need for acceptance give lead to your self-loathing.
Remember, it is not your clothing or your skin that incurs their hate,
do not lock your gate to those who would help you.

The shallow brook runs the loudest,
the wounded dignitary the proudest
and so long as we allow them to hurt us
they'll believe they can get away with it.
We are many,
united in the trials through which we have grown.
Let us stand together now
and not any among us stand alone.